problem-free philosophy

You mean you wouldn’t want to live with me leeching off of you forever? I’m shocked, Carls. I thought our bond was deeper than that.

There's only so much I can take, Brie. You're just too lovable, believe it or not.

It’s time to accept the fact that no matter what I do, I’m crap at English and I’m going to fail and have to live off Carly’s Disney World salary forever.

I'll do your homework for free. I'll give you the answers to all the tests. I'll do anything to avoid the latter. 

Late Halloween party. Sounds like a blast. Should I bring leftover Halloween candy?

Of course. The more, the better. 

I watched a couple. And yeah, I did give out some candy. So it wasn’t a holiday completely wasted, I guess.

I know I've made a dozen promises, but this is going to be the best Halloween party, I promise. No, pinky promise. Wait, I cross my heart and hope to die. 

Sounds like a nice party. Nick just wanted to stay in and Brandon went off to a party I wouldn’t feel very welcome at, so I mostly sat by myself. 

You didn't watch any of the Halloween movies on Netflix? Or give candy out to cute, little trick-or-treaters? 

If you want to, go for it. I didn’t properly celebrate Halloween anyway, so that might be nice.

You should've came to my party! It wasn't super big or had alcohol, but it was fun. I dressed up as a zombified Ariel. 

The Exorcist was really the only one that scared me. I watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose once and it was decently scary, I guess. And then there was that weird one with Anthony Hopkins. And yeah… I’ll be fine. Just no more jumping out at me, yeah?

Maybe we can add them to the movie marathon, too? It can be an after Halloween party of two. You don't have to dress up or anything like that. I might, though. I promise I won't do that ever again. I wouldn't want you to end up getting angry with me over it.

We’ve got a few traditions. The Exorcist was the first movie we all watched together that scared the shit out of us, so we have to revisit that one every year. No, no— Jesus— I wasn’t expecting that scare, okay? There’s… like a difference.

Oh, I can't do Exorcism movies. The weird body pretzels really freak me out. My friends made me go see The Possession a while ago, but it wasn't scary. Some of the parts just freaked me out, but there was a guy behind us that always made funny jokes, so it wasn't so bad. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are you okay, Andy? You look paler than ever.

We could just skip it, no big deal. It was kinda lame anyway if you want me to be honest. Fortunately none of my friends are big on horror movies, so I only watch them on rare occasions. Not that I get scared or anything, of course not…

I can't recall any of my friends being horror freaks. During October, they usually watch all the Tim Burton cartoons or that Alvin and the Chipmunks movie on Netflix. I can settle for creepy, but not scary. Oh, really? 'Cause the way you're twitching tells me otherwise.. Boo! 

We can just say it’s a superhero movie marathon, yeah. That works. We don’t have to watch it, it just so happens to be a Ryan Reynolds movie. I’m not like a horror movie buff or anything.

The only superhero movie I know is the one with Robert Downey Jr. in it, but I'll eventually get to all the other Avengers one day. How about we fast forward through the movie and stop whenever we spot Ryan? Or we could hide behind our cookies. I actually tried watching the modern version of Maniac the other day, because I heard Elijah Wood was in it. I think that was probably the worst decision of my life. Every time I think about it, my head starts throbbing.

As long as you don’t tell anyone that I’m marathoning Ryan Reynolds movies, that sounds like a great idea. Are we including that horror movie he was in?

If anyone asks, I'll claim it was all superhero movies. Unless you want it to be, like, a huge secret? That's fine, too. Well, I'm not really good with horror movies, but I guess it's not a big deal. Just promise we'll watch it during the day with all the lights on, okay?

It’s called Waiting, but I don’t know if you’d actually want to look it up. It’ll change the way you look at your food for a while. And I definitely appreciate it, so anytime you’re just bored I’m always willing to be a taste tester.

Oh, I have a great idea! Why don't we watch a bunch of Ryan Reynolds movies while we eat a gigantic buffet of treats? We probably should exclude Waiting. Or it could be saved for the very end of the marathon. 

Yeah, well I guess they gotta have someone to work there. But uh— you know, that one guy that’s in all the movies. Ryan Reynolds, that’s it. He’s in it, and then some other people are… shit, I don’t know actor names.

That would probably explain why they yell at you if you forget to mention what sauce you want. I'd hate to work there, too. Oh, I know who you're talking about! He's that cute guy in The Proposal, right? I'll go try to find it on Netflix later. What was it called again?

I don’t know if they do for sure, I just take every precaution. Did you ever see that one movie? Waiting? Made me feel like I could never send my food back. And your cookies were great, by the way.

I think it mainly happens at fast food restaurants. No offense to the workers there, but a lot of them tend to have bad tempers. They're actually really frightening. I'm not sure.. Uh, who was in it? Oh, my cookies! I absolutely forgot about that. Thanks, Andy. If you ever need anymore, just ask. I promise I won't spit on them. 

I thought about it, but I figured I’d just eat it. I don’t wanna complicate things, you know? Plus they might spit in my food.

Oh, wow, I didn't really think people still did that. That's disgusting. I'm sorry, Andy. I'd offer to make you one, but I'm only skilled in the baking area. Grills make me a tad bit nervous. 

My steak at Chili’s was overdone.

Did you tell the waiter or manager? Usually they'll make you another one for free. Or you could just drown it in steak sauce!

I’ll push you off the top of a bunk bed again, don’t think I won’t.

Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch, softy.