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"There was a time

When I was young and innocent

I had the perfect parents

I was happy

There was no screaming

There were no tears

There was nothing but bliss

I remember us being the perfect family

What happened to that?

What happened to the parents that didn't scream?

That didn't abuse?

What happened to the parents that loved me?

Was it me?

Was it?

Was it them?

"I've lived in this same town for the past 18 years

I have memories for the last 15 years of you

And our family

How it was back then

How I wish I could go back to 2010 when you weren't abusive

I remember when you used to rock me to sleep

Back then you could go on school field trips with me

Back when we all went on little daily trips

I learned so much history

Back when there was no fighting

Just happiness

And innocence

"Ever since I was eight years old

Anything that ever went wrong

My brain resorted to suicide

"Oh mom can't know what I did, I should kill myself before she knows."

"You can't yell at me if I'm dead"

To me suicide was an escape

A thing to fantasize about

It was never when I was depressed or sad

I could be happy but yet

Suicide is always an option

Even now ten years later, when things get tough

Moneys tight, bills are due

I can always just kill myself

Then everything will go aways