thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over

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@carddinal
thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over

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wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me
hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it
it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits
via @swatercolor [insta]
This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think
My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.
Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??
Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??
Legolas please gain a sense of urgency
It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.
gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"
"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."
"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

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Somebody ate a hole in the flour.
Any idea who it could be?
hey can you come here for a second?
bite bite bite bite bite
Anyone want a quick little portrait of their blorbo? Or two? Or three? 👀
I wanna do a handful of these to cover some emergency bills, so send me a DM or email me with a reference or two of the character(s) in question, their notable traits, and/or the Vibe™ you want to see 👀
Payment upfront via PayPal

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my ability to be both a sweetie pie and a sick pervert will lead me to great things
how can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally
REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️
REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️