its me from twitter

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

Relationship...? Goals!?

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

it's important to have bits that aren't good and also nobody likes and also aren't funny

dont look at me with those big beautiful eyes im trying to be Weird and evil to you

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

ahhh.... boston.... the home of the creampie

not now. mommys making a 0 note post

i am madly okay with you