Public Domain Cat Captions

“My supplication to you, my King, won’t make up for my sins. But perhaps these babies will. If you aren’t hungry, I can come back another time.”

“Great Winter God! All shall receive gifts. All gifts shall be received. Dance and sing, and forgive all transgressions. Eat your cookies and drink your milk, for next season we may be plagued by pandemic and unsettled by social strife.”

Issac has been waiting for his Ancestry DNA results with baited breadth. What will moms side of the family say when he reveals what he’s always known? Would they accept him, or would their prejudice remain firm?

“Thank you father. Thank you mother. Your insistence that I become a lawyer or a doctor has cemented my purpose. My new friends are my new family, and they at least understand me.”

“‘Yahhhh!’ Melody yowled. ‘How much more of this torture must we endure?’ The paddles of the keyboard pummeled the prisoners genitals. After all these days the cats were near breaking. ‘When we lose faith, will we reveal the location of the plans, whether we choose to or not?’”

“SNNFFFFFFFFF ooooohhh yeahhhhhhh, That’s the good shit. I don’t care that this used shoe cost 500 bucks on the dark web, it was totally worth it.”

“Hark! Our dark covenant has reached its quorum. I summon the Old Ones into attendance; witness us and that which what we do this night. Death! Death! We reach through the Gray Veil and grasp what we know not. In Gossamer Chains we trap and tangle it. And from it’s unknowable heart we draw out a fell promise! Harken to me, for what I do now has been done many times before, and will be done many times again!”

“And this is Mr. Catpurrnicus dressed up as a smarty pants professor type! Puss-puss really didn’t like this costume. I had to use rubber cement to keep the glasses on. But he put up with it much better than the Elizabethan Dandy outfit coming up next. Wait… where are you going? There’s only 20 more slides...”

“Jesus, Mathilda! Enough already! You keep saying you’re “rehoming them” but every time you come back from the rescue you have three more! Last night I stepped barefoot in vomit on my way to the bathroom.. five times in one trip! It’s too much. I’m going to stay at my brothers.”

“Hello! And thank you all for coming to GeneCon 2020! I’m proud to present the newest advancement in CRISPR gene editing technology. While this is merely a proof of concept, I think you’ll all agree that the uses for this technique will be wide ranging. Behold, the microcat!”

After the humans all fell to the floor, they didn’t move again. Days went by, and Fluffers began to know the deep pain of true hunger. Spot didn’t have the same discipline. He began to eat after only 2 days. Fluffers watched, wondering how much time would pass before, she too, wouldn’t be able to resist.

“DEFEND YOUR MASTER, ZACHARY! THIS WAS THE AGREEMENT, MADE WITH TRUST AND VOUCHSAFED, THAT WE CAME TO WHEN I TOOK YOU IN. IS YOUR WORD NOT YOUR BOND? DEFEND ME FROM THESE BLASTED INTERLOPERS!”