A Pirate's Life

“Understatement.”

“Oh, now Captain, I’m not the one you should be afraid of,” the undead said, smiling brightly.

“It isn’t fear. It’s the fucking anticipation of what the fuck you’re going to ask. What do you want, Flea?”

“I heard you were heading to the tavern. Perhaps we can sit and chat for a while? I’m sure your ship won’t sail without you. I mean, you are the captain, right?” The Flea smiled, stepping off to the side and making room for the Captain to step onto the dock. “It shouldn’t take long if all goes well.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Captain Seawolf turned back and looked at Ziggly, the goblin, who was chuckling from afar. He shook he head and walked away as the Captain continued on. “Come on. I’m busy.” The Flea nodded and walked beside him. 

“I didn’t know you were back in Booty Bay. Last I heard, you had disappeared off the face of Azeroth. No one knew where to find you. It would be so much easier if you simply gave me a strand of your lovely red hair.”

“You are not taking anything from me,” the Captain muttered as he continued to walk toward the tavern. The Flea acknowledged his discomfort and walked in silence until they reached the tavern. The Captain glanced at the bartender and walked to the second floor, where the table he usually accustomed was within sight. He walked to the seat in the corner and gestured for the Flea to have a seat. 

“You seem tense, Captain. Perhaps I can buy you a drink?”

“Get to the damn point, Flea.”

The undead smirked and nodded. “Very well. You provided the Rat King a crate of potions a while back with the intent of bringing more. However, his preferences are very specific and while they did the intended job, he wanted something…stronger. As of today, we seem to have lost our connection to these narcotics he was attaining and you are the next one in line for us to contact. We would like to get another crate of potions and to have you continuously deliver them until things are rather settled.”

Seawolf smirked as he leaned back in his seat, his red ponytail resting on his shoulder and his blue-green eyes glowing in the shadows where he sat. “The so-called King needs drugs? Well, that’s a first, isn’t it? What happened to your connections? Dead?” The Captain laughed softly and noticed that the Flea had only offered him a half smile. “I may have to refuse this time. My alchemist may not be interested in doing this, and frankly, I don’t blame them.”

The Flea chuckled dryly and looked down to his cuff, adjusting it a bit. “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying here. I’m not asking to see if you could get us another crate. I’m asking when we could get another crate. A few days? Tomorrow?”

The blood elf narrowed his eyes at the undead. “You have no precedence here, Flea. You do not simply give orders.”

“Captain, do you understand how many Ratz are wandering about here in this disgusting town? Better yet, do you know how many Ratz are on your ship right now?” The Flea leaned forward, his golden glowing eyes vibrant as he got closer into the shadows where the Captain sat. 

Seawolf stared at the undead man. He despised undead abominations, even if they seemed somewhat civilized, but this was no ordinary undead. This was a Rat and he hated Ratz worse than undead. “I’ll speak to my alchemist. And since these are negotiations, one hundred thousand gold pieces a crate.”

The Flea laughed. “One hundred thousand?”

“Is your King not worth that much?”

Straightening his head, the Flea smiled. “Forty thousand.”

This time, the Captain laughed. “Forty thousand! No deal. I have to get going.” 

“Tell me, Captain, what could the Kingdom offer you?”

“Offer me?” Seawolf laughed and slammed his hands on the table. “I have it all, Flea. I have money, happiness, peace. I don’t need anything from the Kingdom or it’s foolish self-proclaimed monarch! The only thing I want from you all is to leave me the fuck alone!”

“Done.”

“What?”

“Forty thousand gold pieces and we leave you the fuck alone.” The Flea smiled brightly as he tipped his glasses upward. 

“That’s not what I meant…”

“By all means, Captain Seawolf, walk away from the bargaining table but remember this: you are alive and living in peace because we will it. At any moment, we could follow you and end your dreams.” He stared at the Captain, who glared at the undead man. His hands rolled into fists and the Flea licked his lips. “Forty thousand gold and we leave you the fuck alone.”

“Don’t you fucking threaten me, Flea. This place doesn’t respect your kind.”

“Undead?”

“Rats.”

The Flea chuckled and folded his hands in front of him on the table. “By when will I be expecting the crate? And where? Here? Where Ratz are not welcome?” 

The Captain took a deep breath and exhaled, looking away. “Four days. I have to sail.”

“Where to?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“I only ask to see if maybe I could meet you there. No need to be defensive, Captain,” the Flea said softly. 

“I doubt you would go there, but I have some business in Pandaria.”

“I can meet you there.”

Captain Seawolf hesitated as he tapped his fingers on the table. “Fine. Jade Forest. Three days. You be there and nowhere else or the deal is over and we’ll see who’s chasing whom.”

The Flea nodded and smiled. “It is always a pleasure doing business with you, Captain Seawolf. I will see you in three days. Come through with this and we will keep our end of the bargain.” The Flea rose from his seat and adjusted his hat. “There’s no need for violence, Captain. We will be just fine.” He took a few steps away from the table. “Goodbye, Ziggly,” he called out to no one in particular and he walked down the stairs and out the tavern. 

The goblin stepped out of the shadows and looked on as the undead left. “How does he fucking do that?” Ziggly turned and looked at Seawolf. “Man you’re fucked.”

Captain Seawolf sighed and leaned back against the chair, a hand over his eyes. “I need to tell Alaia,” he whispered enough for the goblin to hear him. 

Ziggly snickered and patted his friend’s knee. “Like I said, man, you’re fucked.”