Captiol's Mutt

The weird thing about starting over to Peeta would be the lack of responsibilities that he was expected. After the he was released from 13 and cleared medically to return to 12 everything seemed to pause for him. No more having to go to the bakery because if he was late mother would beat him. No more pampering for the various interviews. No more training, no more Capitol… no war… no more unnecessary death.

     “I mean, of all the animals in the world I wouldn’t choose geese. They would actually be pretty low on my list. But who knows, he may have them for other reasons that we don’t know.” 

The nightmares and episodes were becoming fewer and fewer, but all of them still just as terrifying as the rest. There were less words and situations that threw him back into the mindless rampage. He could still feel the fire burning in his stomach when certain things that would trigger him get brought up. However, he was stronger than the hatred that fueled his rampages.

     “Well- I’ll be sure to keep cheese buns all around for you then” he spoke with a small smirk.

He stayed silent for a couple moments when he began thinking about what was on his mind, truth be told he was always thinking about something, his mind never blank. He took a couple deep breaths and then looked at Katniss, she beauty something that came flawless but in various moments it would take Peeta off guard. 

     “Do you want it all or just the gist of it all? Honestly there is a lot on my mind, but I can condense it.”

During the rebellion everyone had made it seem as though life afterwards would be exceptionally simple but Katniss had yet to fall into that belief. Her head was still attempting to adjust, though she didn’t think the NIGHTMARES would ever leave. There was no way she would ever be able to forget everything that happened yet that might not be a bad thing. If she let go of those memories she might not be the same person, the girl that fell in love with Peeta, the one that allowed herself to feel something again. There is a time to tuck away EMOTION as if it was a secret but she had done that for too many years.

❝ He’s not really someone that likes to stick to expectations. It’s like Prim and that dumb cat, it’ll never make sense to me. ❞

That CAT was all she had left of Prim so most nights he slept at the foot of her bed which brought her a sliver of comfort, knowing that as long as that animal was there a piece of her sister was too. She had always given Buttercup a hard time but their relationship had changed as of late.

❝ You’ve always been pretty reliable when it comes to baked goods, so I wouldn’t expect anything less. ❞

A smile found her lips as she looked to him. His eyes were enough do it these days, they were HIS again. Peeta was getting his life back. Upon hearing him speak her shoulders shrugged and her lips dropped down slightly. Her hands moved the animal she was working with over onto a new surface to be seasoned. 

     “Katniss, I think that we should try and expand our family” he said softly and looked at her “I think that we’re ready, it would be something different that we both don’t know exactly what to do in every situation but we’d be amazing parents.” 

He shrugged a bit and looked at her “I know you’re not keen on children but I think that you’d be an incredible mother” he said softly and smiled weakly at her. 

He looked over at her and sighed softly “You’re afraid of me… real or not real?” the true side of Peeta, the side that was trapped by the hijacking broke. He knew why she was scared though, the first thing that happened last time he saw her was enough to make anyone afraid of him. There wasn’t a day that passed that he didn’t think about what he had done to her. On the inside he felt absolutely horrible, he had almost killed the person he loved more than anything in this world. However, on the outside he still wanted her dead. He took a shaky breath and looked at her “I’m a mutt…” he mumbled feeling his heart rate begin to pick up again. “I’m a mutt, that’s what the doctors keep saying… real or not…” he asked beginning to get slightly upset “I’m a mutation that the Capitol made…. real… or not?”

He frowned slightly knowing that she was lying to him, he knew that she would tell him on her own terms but he could still tell something was bothering her. He let the thought pass knowing if he fretted on it too long it would either make her upset or just make the problem worse. He instantly turned his attention to their daughter who was now awake and just staring at Katniss. 

He smiled softly “That’s your mom sweet heart” he said lifting her a bit higher to see her. He glanced up at Katniss and smiled when she mentioned the name “I think Willow is a perfect name for her Katniss” he said looking down at at the child. Peeta couldn’t even begin to explain how he was feeling at the moment, he was beyond happy but also terrified, he was now a father. Something that he never thought would happen, even before the Games. 

He had witnessed first hand how his parents treated his brothers vs. him and he couldn’t imagine why his mother would have such ill feelings for him. That alone made him never want to be a parent. Now looking down at his own flesh and blood he knew that he could never be like his mother. There was nothing but love for the small bundle in his arms. She would grow up but times were different, no longer did children have to fear turning 12 and being entered into the lottery for the Games. Parent’s didn’t have to worry about losing their children to the blood bath. 

He immediately looked back up to Katniss when she began to speak. He nodded a bit “They’ll never go away completely Katniss, you’re head is filled with thoughts and feelings right now, you gave birth to our child. That alone is taxing enough mentally and physically. Also, a couple weeks ago I had a couple nights where I woke up from nightmares, we just started a huge new step in our lives and it’s scary.” he said softly “but worth it” he walked closer to her and glanced to their daughter “You’re scared because now it’s not just about us… we have a child to care for and that is a big responsibility. It won’t be easy but we’ll get through together”

“It’s not only that. I see Prim in our daughter, Peeta. That brings back how I saw her die.” She just can’t handle all of this anymore, she loves her daughter she loves Peeta. But those nightmares were just being annoying at all. He was right they’ll never actually go away. Katniss need to find a way to live with that fact. Everything was different, no Games, no fear that their daughter have to enter the Games. Only some day they have to explain her what it was like, or maybe she will learn it at school. How knows right. 

Taking a deep breath as she glanced over to her daughter with a smile onto her face. For sure that the little one was going to be a little hunter just like her mother is. Not sure if Peeta would really like that idea, but someone has to take after her right. At least that was what she was thinking at the moment. Looking at Peeta as she pressed a kiss on his lips. “I love you.” They might not say it that often, okay she might not say it often, but she means it. Katniss just doesn’t want to lose him.

He could see that she loved their daughter just like he did, she had loved her for so much longer than he had though. There was a saying that a woman becomes a mother when she first feels that there is a child inside of her, and the man becomes a father the second he lays eyes on the baby. This was all true, the father instincts had just set in when he realized that his baby girl would be coming into the world at any time.

He could already feel the overwhelming urge to protect her, just like he had felt about Katniss in the games. He thought a lot about the games in the previous weeks and it made him worry frequently, even though their little girl would never have her name entered in the reaping. 

Nearly eight and a half months ago Katniss told Peeta about her being pregnant. He had been beyond excited when she told him that she was carrying their child, but now Katniss could have their child at any moment. Peeta was still excited about their son or daughter to enter this world, but he was also beginning to feel the anxiety and nervousness that Katniss had experienced since they found out. 

A child that depended on them for survival, a child that would call him daddy and Katniss mommy. The idea of it still overwhelming in his mind but the excitement was still there. Every time he looked at his very pregnant wife, he imagined what their baby would look like. Would he or she resemble Katniss more than himself? Or the opposite, look like him more than her? Or would the baby be a perfect mixture of the two of them?

He smiled softly as he looked at Katniss, he knew the pregnancy was beginning to get uncomfortable again. From what he read about pregnancy he knew that the third trimester was getting the baby ready for birth; he couldn’t imagine how that must feel. He reached out across the bed and gently pushed her hair from her face before moving his hand to her stomach. 

Katniss knew that her body would be extremely tired and worn in the later weeks. He smirked a bit when he had gone to bed that night because he could see that Katniss used every single tip that her mother had given her. From what Peeta could see she was resting peacefully.

He felt his chid moving in Katniss and felt somewhat bad when Katniss woke up and kissed his forehead. He gave a small smile when she spoke, his excitement was growing to meet his child and he knew that his first born baby would be coming soon.

Delly repeatedly apologized as she scooted through people on her way to the bakery. Everything seemed to be bustling this morning which made her somewhat excited for the day to continue. When the members of District 12 were out and about the atmosphere seemed to lighten. SMILES were becoming extinct but when everyone was out, enjoying the season, preparing for the new year, there were a few more joyous people to be found. This only brought out more happiness within the blonde haired girl. 

As she walked into the bakery the warm air caressed her rosy cheeks and the sweet scent of bread dancing along her nose. She gently moved her way through the clumps of people waiting for their items until she reached the counter that she slipped under. This was almost her second home, a place where she always felt COMFORTABLE. 

Going into the back she saw Peeta which was when she started removing her sweater then rolling up the sleeves of her dress. With the classic Delly smile she moved across from him at the table, leaning her head into the palm of her hand.

❝ Father said you all could use some help with all the orders. What can I do? ❞

He took a big sigh of relief when he saw his best friend slip under the counter. She seemed to always show up when he needed her most, with any situation. He placed the cookie tray on a cooling rack and then turned to Delly. 

He gave a small smile before pulling her into a tight hug. 

     “You have no idea how happy I am too see you right now Del-.” he smiled softly “If you could take the register and help those you can and tell me what others need I think we could plow through this line”

If you have a lot of crazy stuff happening in your life, do not feel guilty over letting your activity drop while you deal with it.

You can post updates, sure. Your followers will appreciate knowing you haven’t vanished off the face of the earth. But none of them want you to plead for forgiveness and stress yourself out further with what’s usually self-inflicted guilt!

And anyone who expects you to rp during a hard time in your life is toxic and should be unfollowed, if not blocked, immediately. 

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She couldn’t believe the news, and if she were to say that she wasn’t                 afraid she would be lying to everyone.

Katniss stared at the little test she had gotten from the Capitol’s technology & didn’t know how to feel. A few years ago, she would have been horrified, because she used to DESPISE the entertainment of the thought of ever having children. But this was a new world, a new world she had helped pave. This future was the kind of place she could imagine raising a child in.

But that didn’t cause the FEAR loosen it’s grasp on her mind, nor  did  it  erase  the  uncertainty  she  felt  in  her  heart.

Time had passed since the rebellion, 12 was being rebuilt and things were finally beginning to be normal again for Peeta. He was working in the new bakery every day and even though the people coming and going from the bakery were different. The purpose was still the same.

This day had been slightly off since the moment he woke up, Katniss had been acting funny for days then mentioned something about having to go to an appointment. Peeta was never the one to pry but he was growing more and more anxious for the end of his shift to go and talk to her. He wanted to make sure that the love of his dreams was well.

The end of the day came and Peeta found himself anxiously running home to be with Katniss. He ran up the stairs to the house and walked in.

    “Well Katniss, for dinner I could make just dinner rolls or really anything, for dessert I could make cupcakes and cookies or a cake.” he shrugged “What ever you want me to make dear” he gave a small smile.

He knew that he was going to be baking for a majority of the day but his mind kept wandering to the events he had planned later that night. His entire world was going to change tonight and he was growing more and more anxious as the time  went by.

    “We should probably get started Effie will probably show up earlier than we expect” he laughed and looked at her “I love you Katniss, tonight is going to be fun” he said with a genuine smile.

Her mouth watered the moment he mentioned the delicacies he was about to make. The aroma already wafted down in her mind. The images of cake with enough frosting to send us more hyperactive than a rabbit in spring, cupcakes richly decorated with buttercream and the smell of freshly baked cookies dipped in hot chocolate made her wish he would start soon so she could taste all of them before any of the guest had arrived. 

            - “I’d be pleased with all of them, you better start quickly.” 

Excitement was written all over her. Warm gentle words She answered his words with a kiss. There was something in those blue eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm. Soon after her hands offer him a little push towards the kitchen. There, on the cupboard, Buttercup was expecting his breakfast. He didn’t hiss anymore, instead he payed occasionally visits. She couldn’t quiet figure him out. Was he just hungry, did he need company, or comfort. Did he still miss her as well? She opened the fridge, pouring some milk into his usual cup. Without doubt he consumed its breakfast while she started to boil water for the tea. Scrambled eggs and tea it was for breakfast. 

            - “Well, I’m sure tonight might be at least entertaining. I’m sure Effie will                     tell us all about the changes of the capitol and her new job.”

     “Tonight is going to be entertaining with or with out Effie being here” he said softly as he began to gather ingredients for everything “Haymitch and I have some plans for tonight that will be pretty fun” 

Peeta was pretty sure that Katniss had no idea of his intentions for the night which made him more excited. He vaguely remembered back to his father telling him the story about how he proposed to his mother. She had apparently known the entire time and was just going along with what he had planned. Peeta didn’t want Katniss to have any idea what so ever and he was pretty sure she was clueless.

He laughed softly “Well maybe if you weren’t so convinced that they were evil and out to get you, you’d be able to enjoy them” he smirked a bit and leaned against the counter of the kitchen staring at the bird Katniss was working with. “Those Geese give Haymitch quite a bit to live for, I mean he has a source of eggs and meat at least” he shrugged “To be honest I’m not a fan of them either but I don’t think of killing one every time I pass by” he smirked again then turned to grab a glass from the cupboard.

When he had first arrived back in 12 he had no idea how his life would turn out, he knew that both him and Katniss were very run down in nearly every way. The first couple nights they spent apart from one another but that was quickly put to a rest the first time Peeta couldn’t sleep and could hear Kantiss’ screams from her reoccurring nightmares. From that night on they stayed in the same house, most of the time in different rooms but it was still better than being alone. 

He reached for the basket that he had brought home, “Just some cheese buns, and a loaf of bread” he glanced at her when he said cheese buns knowing that they were her favorite. “I can bring anything whenever you want it Katniss, since I’m technically the one in charge there now. Or anytime you want anything baked tell me and I’ll make it for you” he gave a small smile and put the basket on the counter next to her.

There was a playful roll of her eye as she smiled to him. Something GENUINE was starting to form when she was with him, something she’d missed before. Looking back on their time before the rebellion she had realized all of the things that she had not payed attention to. Her lips rarely left their line unless she was with him which altered that. He altered nearly everything. Nothing was the same after she met him. A world once black and white was then painted with COLOR. Shades of orange, like his sunsets, of green, like her forests. 

❝ I can’t imagine you ever thinking about something like that. You’ve always been GENTLE. ❞

That was actually one of the reasons she fell for him, he was her exact opposite. Haymitch had always been right when he said that she wouldn’t deserve him and even now she didn’t. No matter what happened, Peeta Mellark would always be a better person that her. It seemed like he was the only one who didn’t see that. The baker never saw her FLAWS, not until he was a mutt, then they were all that he pictured. 

❝ I’m not all that picky. You know what I like. That’s good enough for me. ❞

As she plucked a cheese bun from the basket, tearing off a piece and placing it her mouth she looked to him. The way he looked to her was DIFFERENT these days which left her with many questions. An eyebrow arched as a hint of a smile pricked the sides of her mouth.

     “I mean, of all the animals in the world I wouldn’t choose geese. They would actually be pretty low on my list. But who knows, he may have them for other reasons that we don’t know.” 

The nightmares and episodes were becoming fewer and fewer, but all of them still just as terrifying as the rest. There were less words and situations that threw him back into the mindless rampage. He could still feel the fire burning in his stomach when certain things that would trigger him get brought up. However, he was stronger than the hatred that fueled his rampages.

     “Well- I’ll be sure to keep cheese buns all around for you then” he spoke with a small smirk.

He stayed silent for a couple moments when he began thinking about what was on his mind, truth be told he was always thinking about something, his mind never blank. He took a couple deep breaths and then looked at Katniss, she beauty something that came flawless but in various moments it would take Peeta off guard. 

He woke up earlier than he usually did, the sun was just rising. It didn’t surprise him that Katniss was already out of bed an moving. She was always awake before him, unless she was sick it seemed. He showered and laid out on a decent looking outfit for later so Effie wouldn’t freak out when she arrived. He was currently wearing just regular clothes because he planned to bake and baking in anything nice was not exactly a smart idea. He grabbed a handful of gifts and walked downstairs slowly. He had gone out and gathered somethings for Effie, Haymitch, and Katniss a couple weeks ago. He smiled seeing Katniss waiting for him.

    “Good morning, big day today” he flashed a slightly smile to her as he put the gifts under the massive tree that they struggled to get into the house. “What’s on the agenda?” he asked walking to stand beside her.

She took her lingering gaze off of the enormous Christmas tree adorned with glistening ornaments and glowing fairy lights draped around it. His voice revealed he was in a very good mood, it somehow managed to subdue her earlier thoughts about Christmas. She never really had been a fan of any holidays, since she never had the chance to actually celebrate them. But it had been a while since Effie had visited District 12 and now, since most of the citizens had tried to rebuild what had been destroyed in seas of fire, it started to look fairly descent. On each side the houses are separated by yards large enough to accommodate farm animals. The homes are many times larger than they were before, and the view of them far more beautiful. But the meadow remained one of her favorite places to visit, though now everything was covered in a thick blanked of snow. 

            - “I’m only thinking about what we still have to do until Effie arrives. Hunt,                make Dinner, wash, dress, decorate the table, get Haymitch to come                    over,…”  

She leaned closer as he stood beside her and kissed him gently, the warmth spread throughout her entire body. Those kisses were her salvation and she lived for them and would die with the memory of them. 

          - “After breakfast I will go to the woods, I guess I pay a visit at Haymitch                   house after that, unless it’s a better plan that both of us go,”

She offered a pause to ponder about it. Haymitch was still as stubborn as before, and he probably was drunk too. Peeta had always been the kind and gentle one, though she wondered what method would get him to the Christmas Party. Suddenly the intonation of her voice changed.  

     “Well Katniss, for dinner I could make just dinner rolls or really anything, for dessert I could make cupcakes and cookies or a cake.” he shrugged “What ever you want me to make dear” he gave a small smile. 

He knew that he was going to be baking for a majority of the day but his mind kept wandering to the events he had planned later that night. His entire world was going to change tonight and he was growing more and more anxious as the time  went by.