Ta Dah!

I need to collect one who uses he/him pronouns, one I don't know very well, one who's slutty, and one who's really funny.

so the next time ilya is there, they're kissing and laughing softly while they grind against each other. ilya nips at shane's bottom lip and grins down at him. he gives a playful wink before reaching over to the drawer in shane's bedside table. he pulls it open, and sees an almost empty bottle of lube [shane's dildo has been seeing a lot more action after that first time] and one singular condom.

his face immediately falls; his body stills. he suddenly is feeling the urge to throw his fist through the wall, he wants to rip somebody's throat out.

because who the fuck is fucking shane when he's not around???

he saw the box that last time, an unopened value pack of 40 condoms. it made him grin like an idiot at the time, made him want to tease shane for his eagerness then kiss his lips til they were numb and cherry red.

and now it made him sick to his fucking stomach. did shane get fucked by 38 other men since the last time ilya had him? was it all with the same man? ilya didn't know which option was worse.

so, despite wanting to vomit, buy a gun, then go find all of shane's other boys, he resolves that he has to remind shane how good it can be with just him instead. that he can be all shane needs, can satisfy him better than anyone else ever could.

every time after that, ilya is frantically checking shane's drawer, then filling with dread and white hot jealousy each time he finds only a condom or two and a bottle of lube that is always within various stages of usage.

and then, like every other time before, he works to wring as many mind blowing orgasms out of shane as he possibly can and nearly drowning him with kisses and whispered praise. and then he hopes that this time will be the one where shane decides to give all the others up.

meanwhile shane is over the moon over how attentive and gentle ilya has been. he's loving all the kissing and the way he coos in russian all soft and sweet into his ear. and he's started calling him sweetheart and baby??? that was a little weird at first, but shane warmed up to it and now it makes his heart flutter.

ilya doesn't learn the truth until the cottage when shane tells him he hasn't been with anyone since their last time.

"you finally want to give up all your other boys just for me?" ilya teasingly asks.

"my other boys? what are you talking about?"

"you know, the ones you used boxes and boxes of condoms with when i wasn't around."

"oh, like you have room to talk - wait. ilya what the fuck are you talking about?? i've had the same box of condoms for two years."

ilya furrows his brow. "but... every time i was there, there was only a couple left in your drawer."

then it finally hits shane. he bursts into a fit of laughter and drops his face into the crook of ilya's neck. he presses a quick kiss there then lifts his head back up.

"you made fun of me when i pulled out that strip of them the first time we did it! so i got embarrassed and started keeping them in the bathroom and just grabbing one when i knew you were gonna come over. i just got used to keeping them there."

does make me think extremely chewy thoughts about how fucking complicated this has to be for ilya. like obviously things with his father are SO fucking complex and layered and there's so much pain there, but also what emotional potential of being the only person he consistently remembers. even ilya's older brother gets forgotten, but when he's distressed, ilya is the one he calls? he ALWAYS seems to know ilya?????

it adds to the guilt also that he's the only one who can calm his father down or at least handle him when he's like this and yet he's the one on a whole different continent, but also what a twisted wreck of feelings it has to be to be the only one their father consistently remembers. like there HAS to be love in there, doesn't there? if i'm the one he remembers when he forgets everything else? i'm at least THAT important to him? i have to be, don't i? even if everything else is gone, i'm still in there. that HAS to mean something, doesn't it?