A. L. Chen

okay comma-less half-ironic rant over. i only say all of this because of a post made by user kafkaesqueish, whose blog's now empty:

"do you think god is nuclear. do you think you cannot look upon deities in the same way you cannot look upon the center of a mushroom cloud. do you think the energy generated from fission is energy released from divine clutches. do you think that god exists in the space between the nucleus and the electrons and in the bonds of compounds and in the numbers on the page that got us there. do you think radiation is a warning. do you think it is an eraser. do you think that it is wrath or a mistake or a byproduct of entropy. do you think god is plasma, where electrons are wherever you want them to be. do you think that we were supposed to find this out."

i called god "mama" and "mysteriously knowledgeable drunkard" and "mean girl who loves you" because they are un-understandable. you bring this idea that they're terrifying and utterly unknowable to them, and they'll think you're ridiculous. they live with themselves. they know themselves just fine; in fact, you're the scary one. the mysterious one. in fact, they have issue looking at you directly.

i think the concept of god is the same as any other person (god forgive me): it's god's first time living, too. even if the universe collapses over and over and over, and it has done so countless times before, and somehow god's been here the whole time, but god only gains legitimacy through man's belief in it, then every collapse of man also implies a partial collapse of the god as it was known by the version of man that collapses. every hypothetical do-over of the universe means a new version of man and a new version of god. god may be older, but over and over, it's always everyone's first time around here as it is now.

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism