two cannibals in a 69

Fantasy and RP are fine, but if you don’t make it clear you’re engaging in that capacity, you’re going to look like an idiot.

“Wear your tightest clothes and go to the mall, waddle around, fatty 😈”

Cool cool cool, I’ve gained 100lbs. My tightest pants, if I somehow got them buttoned, would cause me to have a medical emergency before I rip them. They’re Levi’s, the quality is insane.

I think it's important for those of us who are not doing the eating or stuffing to actually have some basic understandings of what is probably a likely (but not a certain) amount of food someone can consume so that we can set expectations before we enter a scene.

In BDSM some people talk about "up-negotiating," where after you've already agreed to the parameters of playing together (e.g., getting tied up in a certain way) one or both people go "well... we could also do this that's a little more intense..." While it can be harmless and fun, there's a real danger within that because you're literally intoxicated with fun-loving brain chemicals and aren't really in a position to have informed consent (again, as either a dom, sub, feedee, or feeder).

If feedists know enough about limits before-hand, then we can set reasonable expectations when we're playing together and not ask questions that, for either party, can feel disappointing, hurtful, or even straight up endangering. The goal is to decrease that friction on the front-end so that when you're really in the space of playing together, you have really clear consent and boundaries where you can keep all of the fun.

This is true in lots of things -- like physical capacity and limits for the fat person to have sex on top, for example -- but for eating is probably the most important thing to understand.

And for those who might complain "oh but asking and figuring that stuff out before-hand feels clinical and like it takes all the fun out of 'discovering' in the moment," I would say: discovering people's needs, wants, and limits is the only way you can build real safety. Once you have that, then you can go somewhere you can both enjoy. If you don't have that, you're going to hurt someone and (unless you're a total sociopath) the guilt and hurt of that will follow you aroud for a long time.

In short: learn your partner's limits and wants in advance; find creative ways to work with them (e.g., turn their physical capacity into a fantastical reason why they can't eat more), and build ever-deepening safety. That's how you have safe and fun times over the long-term.

Every community has abusers hiding in it, and I think we would be naive to say that kink communities (not just feedism) make excellent hunting grounds because people are often already playing with power dynamics/imbalances, and it's easy to manipulate that into abuse. We also cannot ignore the fatphobia aspect, and you have abusers telling their victims, no one but me will love you cause you are fat and disgusting and then society is like, “lol true”.

People outside the community constantly accuse us of not addressing that, and it’s like, hey so we talk about that constantly actually and are also the ones most likely to be the victims of those abusers. So when you send death threats to a queer, fat, RACK compliant feedist over a jokey post you didn’t like, I’m not actually sure you are the good guy you think you are.

People just completely ignore anything that we have to say, ignore any fat lib/activism work we do, and make documentary after documentary being like: “Look how icky and gross this thing I don’t understand is!” Without ever addressing the actual issues they are supposedly so concerned about.

it needs to be taken into consideration everything from how our clothes/lingerie cost significantly more to how much harder it can be physically to shake our big booties.

instead, what ive witnessed is shame if fat sw charge anything over the norm. how dare they when they are just “scoffing down food” in front of the cam etc.