CVNT

yesterday i was informed about my ex, Nikolai/Lucas, known as @sacrificalhandler/@traumaarchivo/@sermilitares talking about me. obviously i went to read it and i was understandably pissed, i hate people making up lies about me, and i damn sure wasn’t about to let some pervert lie on me to some gullible people on tumblr LOL. a majority of you saw the post made after but had asked me for the full story, here this is.

i met him little over two weeks ago in a partner system server of my own making, he joined, we talked, we dated. there were multiple instances when he was overly aggressive with me under the guise of it being some mental health problem he had. then came when i joined tumblr with him, i got an anonymous messages saying he was a liar and cheater, obviously im confused. ive come to understand it was my now friend @cannibalcvnt warning me, in my own mind though, i ignored it, and sent a friend of mine to talk to him using the @ he sent me, my friend told me he was talking nothing important, so i assumed it was a troll and moved on.

we broke up because i found out he was cheating on me with alek / @cannibalcvnt, who’s sixteen years old, and in my opinion, more emotionally susceptible to manipulation. nikolai had aleks location ( mine as well, but no threat was there as he was halfway across the world ), his school email, nudes he had forced alek to send him, and more. obviously i was disgusted with this, and alek was scared of him. it took a few days of talking back and forth but by the end of it both alek and i had him blocked. during this time as i was getting information on him i could contact the authorities as well as make a cyber tip about him, i got in touch with someone he knew irl, so said he tried to stab his ex and then raped them. currently this is an allegation, but considering how he is i wouldn’t put it past him.

days went by and i personally watched in real time as he targeted @derwiintersoldat.

i’d like to preface that alek, myself, and soldat are all ramcoa complex did systems, who are programmed/have programmed alters, he used this heavily against alek, he used it against soldat, who he claims consented to it, but he hasn’t brought forward any substantial proof, and soldat a headmate steven would like it to be known soldat was manic and going through an episode, therefore this was under the guise of concent by someone who was already laying their affection on them heavy, which nikolai is known to do.

you all already know how this story with soldat and nikolai ended so i wont push it further, he was in a “conabuse” relationship but there was no consent, so it was just abusive. he made a post saying that both me and alek had agreed to a similar relationship, we didn’t. from what i understand alek met him in a sourcemates server and they started off as friends before nikolai preyed on them ( and this happened little over a month ago, he has no idea how to take a break between these crimes i guess ) and ive already said that our relationship was purely romantic until towards the end our winter soldier introject, sengphet, started dating their rumlow introject.

i think it’s disgusting, i think it’s sick. if you’re coming from his page YES i was manipulating him last night, YES i was lying to him, and yes i do stalk him, he’s talking about people being posers but can’t take a few extra eyes on him and he lost his already shriveled mind, practice what you fucking preach. i wanted a fucking laugh and more evidence so i could make this post, lmao. never in my seventeen years would i want to be friends with a fucking loser like that.

if this guy is your follower/mutual, do yourself a favor and block him because the tl:dr is —

nikolai is a pro contact pedophile who got sexual with a 16 year old at his big age of 19, talks to minors constantly under the guise of being “friends,” lies, abuses programmed people to get himself off, and he’s running all around Europe to evade the authorities, because he’s wrong, and he knows it.

"ive come to understand it was my now friend @/cannibalcvnt warning me"

So, first point. If you had messages bringing this up, you should've addressed it with Nikolai, not ignored it. He could've admitted it, explained it and it would've been over. Communication is a big thing in relationships. Especially with paraphilias involved! Consent and communication go hand and hand. An animal, can not give verbal consent, thus they cant communicate they want something.

"who’s sixteen years old, and in my opinion, more emotionally susceptible to manipulation. nikolai had aleks location"

Yes, younger people can be manipulated easier, I agree! But in all the screenshots shown, it was both Nikolai and Alek fighting. This is not manipulation. We see both parties throwing insults. What I'd like to comment on, is how we see Alek saying he's planning to kill himself. Seeing as though Nikolai knows the forest Alek plans to do it in, we can tell it's been talked about more than once. In the screenshots, it feels as if Alek is using his suicidal actions to guilt Nikolai. Which, is a form of a manipulation in itself. Now, I understand that telling someone goodbye is not guilting them, but Alek does not just say goodbye, he begins to blame Nikolai and the breakup.

"i’d like to preface that alek, myself, and soldat are all ramcoa complex did systems, who are programmed/have programmed alters, he used this heavily against alek, he used it against soldat, who he claims consented to it."

I am also a programmed system. If abuse was consented to, the other party believes that it's okay. If I consent to something, I will have to personally take back that consent if I no longer wish for it to happen. Conabuse is a big part of the radqueer community, which you yourself have been in, judging by this screenshot you posted.

[start screenshot]

[end screenshot]

Upon saying cisharmful, we can guess that you yourself have harmed people. With or without consent is none of my business as you havent stated. But with consent, it implies conabuse. So it's clear you have the concept down.

Conabuse is also in kink communities, but thats not what we're focused on.

We're never shown either party talking about boundaries or conabuse. We're only shown Nikolai being hostile, sometimes the other person's text being cut out of the screenshot. If conabuse was never talked about, that's a different story.

But if Nikolai claims that there was consent, I think it'd be best to show where someone denies consenting or tells Nikolai they don't consent.

"if you’re coming from his page YES i was manipulating him last night, YES i was lying to him, and yes i do stalk him,"

i personally only got a message saying that he was a cheater and whatnot, i took a screenshot and did tell him, he freaked the fuck out and he blocked me. proceeded to say it was alek and that he was crazy, a liar, and trying to ruin things for him, etc..

yes im cisharmful, in the sense that i’ve harmed someone yet it was nonconsentually, i was in a cult.

seeing him terrified moving around with the cops after him is funny as fuck and the fact that he knows im watching him now is too, i dont give a fuck whether im abusing a 19 year old pedophile and quite frankly you shouldn’t either, that’s fuckin pathetic.

We met through a sourcelist Nikolai had posted, where I answered and we began chatting. Nearly immediately he started with the whole “you’re so mature for your age” and “no one understands me like I do”. Red flag, but due to my trauma I thought this was normal. He started being more romantic/sexual, eventually asking me out, saying that because i was above the age of consent it was okay. Immediately, he began cutting me off from friends and family. I couldn’t be in servers, have anyone added on discord, he would track my snap score and my location and become very aggressive if he thought I was talking to literally anyone, which he said was “micro cheating”.

We had arguments daily. I’m not even kidding, and obviously my mental health began to decline rapidly. He would use tactics I told him in confidence that my abuser had used on me. I was utterly dependent and fully convinced I needed him. I was missing school because he couldn’t bear to be apart from me for so long. I couldn’t talk to friends or do anything, couldn’t do things I enjoyed because it meant I couldn’t talk to him. This was not conabuse. I only knew he was a paraphile when he shared his tumblr, after we started dating.

Like Permahunter mentioned, he had my address and school email, and full name. He’d constantly threaten to email them with proof of our conversations, or call the police on me. He knew how damaging this was to me. I wasn’t allowed to have discord, let alone talk to people due to complications with the child exploitation team and social services I work with. This would’ve ruined my life, and he knew that. He would constantly tell me to hurt/kms, threaten me with things like sharing my address online so people could come to my house and “turn me into a child prostitute again”. Once more, not consensual

We constantly broke up and got back together again. I couldn’t stay away and neither could he, I was pretty obsessed and he quickly became my fp. I was convinced he could do no wrong until Permahunter snapped me out of it.

What really drove us away, was when he got on phone call with us, something he knew we were already uncomfortable with, while drunk, he knows we’re a recovering alcoholic, flashed his tits, once again we explicitly said any nsfw call stuff is a massive trigger with us, and proceeded to roleplay being fucked by us over call. As you can imagine, we didn’t do too great with that. Then he demanded we switched, something we struggle to do on command, got mad when we said we couldn’t, started yelling and screaming at a little until they had severe flashbacks and was sobbing to him over the phone, and then gaslit us about the whole event for weeks after. Not very pleasant.

We did threaten to kill ourselves. Because he told us to kill ourselves. Many times. And seemed to enjoy our distress around the subject. Eventually, a programmed alter did try and commit, and we ended up with a lovely ambulance ride and overnight stay in the hospital. Thanks for that. Which he didn’t seem to care about at all

No matter how many times he apologises for getting with us, he has never stopped flirting, being sexual, or asking us out. He’s just as obsessive as ever. And cannot leave us alone.

He talks about “paraphiles not sticking to their words”, but got unreasonably upset every time we mentioned unhealthy coping mechanisms, like self harm and drinking, something we rely heavily on. He is a hypocrite and a liar. He could not handle our emotions nor our disorders, even though he claimed to. He abandoned us whenever we showed symptoms. And is overall not a good person

He’s also admitted to being a Nazi and hanging out with neonazis???? So like. There’s that ig

「　SHACKLED ?!   ｣

➜ @ a term made for two alters who were made/programmed for eachother. this is a negative term made for programmed systems/alters who have survived RAMCOA/TBMC. This relationship can be handler/programmed or two programmed alters for any type (mostly found in beta, epsilon, twin, kappa, scapeboat programming)