Gina

I made a burger. A Heisenburger.

Featuring Rose's head.

On a crunchy but soft bread smoky whisky barbecue sauce coats slow cooked pulled seitan, a sweet and creamy coleslaw to top it off... All homemade, with love, with care. No, you cannot have a picture. It doesn't exist.

But can you imagine it? The crunch, the explosion of flavours dancing together on your tongue? Sweet and tangy? Smoky and creamy? Yes? Good.

Had it not been for that stupid Icelandic volcano erupting, everything would have been fine. Charlotte would simply have gotten on her plane, flown to her next destination, and continued her disappointing vacation. Do you know how expensive it is to get a taxi from Vienna to Berlin on short notice!?

Celebrating the 10th chapter!!

Over 3 years in process, but now my priority to bring to a satisfying finale. Honestly, I have sat there writing with a "oooh, wonder what will happen next" which might sound like an unfortunate thing (as, you know, I am kinda of the person writing it, so I should probably KNOW) but it's really just excitement for it. I'm happy.

Relationships: Mother Miranda/Reader Karl Heisenberg/Reader Words: 16,232 Topics: (ongoing) trauma, rebellion, manipulation, unhealthy coping mechanisms, psychosis. Bittersweet victory is not yet there, but working on it!

Another ordinary day 

The meeting 

Loyalty 

Descent 

Falling? 

Hope 

Confession 

Whisper 

Risk 

Poison 

I know you cannot force anyone to check it out, but literally dislocated my thumb writing the last chapter but could not stop writing because it was just getting so good. A kudo or a share would be like a tiny healing kiss on my poor ouchy thumb, haha.

Roll the dice, spin that wheel, fill my inbox with asks! Would love to write some stuff. (These are suggestions: feel free to fudge your dice rolls or come up with something else entirely!)

Please specify if you want the fic/drabble to be sfw!

AO3 has a feature called "stats". While I don't use it a lot, I do like looking at graphs sometimes (nerd).

This is what it showed for this year (2026). All this is actually from the past month/4 weeks:

Last year (2025) I was kinda shit with uploading. I did some uploads, but it is less than it was these first 3,5 months of 2026 combined:

My april fools fic, finished right on time! (if we ignore the silly little 0 in today's date)

Words: 9,313 Chapters: 10/10

Baldur's Goat (2026-03-17)

Gorgonzola does not exist (2026-03-19)

Breathe in. Breathe out. Hands aren’t flowers and fingers aren’t grass. (2026-03-21)

Geneva convention? A what? (2026-03-23)

Ruminant animals (2026-03-25)

Hello hot tiefling we totally never ever killed tieflings because we are good and nice (2026-03-27)

Midnight snack (2026-03-29)

Goartifact and pneumomagica (2026-03-30)

Fly, you fools! (2026-03-31)

Old Baldur had a farm (2026-04-01)

"BeeeeehhhHHH!" Said Gav to the people scrolling past without reading. It was an ancient curse* of when the goats ruled the lands, so ancient even Dalereckoning was not yet a thing. Woe! Woe to those who did not head its warning! You shall stay in the same timeline! Woe, woe!

If you could choose a game to live in, what would it be?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

Do I know the world history of faerun better than the earth? No. But I'm fairly confident I know enough of the dates, systems, corruptions, and dangers. Do not drop me in the Underdark or planes other than the material. Do not throw me to Baldur's Gate or Luskan or Neverwinter. Silverymoon seems ideal. Even more if I got a house and scholarship. Education and a home, I know, it's fantasy, allow me to be wild.

Ideally I'd say hi to Drizzt (I don't idolise him, but I would know strange parts of his history and I could freak him out. Bullying him seems like a highlight). Ideally I'll meet Halsin and become a druid (warlock suits me too, but that is still less ideal since I'll actually have a soul then) or, with my constitution as it is, wizard.

This world, these classes, I have the desire to create with my heart, to sustain what I love. I feel impaired in that regard. I feel so very mortal in this earth. My heart is growing cold in this dark world.

But, as with every scenario (and to end this on a lighter note):

You don't know what you're missing.*

Chapter 8: Goartifact and pneumomagica is out now!

Chapter 7: Midnight snack

Goats typically sleep for 5 to 6 hours a day. Light sleeps, little naps during both day and night. If you are feeling watched at night, it is likely not a lycantrope or a vampire, a monster stalking you. A goat is watching you. Maybe it is kilometers away. Maybe even nations. But the last is mostly true for those who deem the flat earth a real probability, and this is yet another reason not to believe in such nonsense. Do you want more glowing eyes to be staring at you at night, after all? You should know that it is not a conspiracy but a true fact that goats can actually see through walls of brick and cloth. Their eyes have certain filters to bypass certain materials. That is why they are shaped so weird! Unless you like to be watched by a million goats, believe in your heart the world is a sphere, alright?

So Gav had not had a proper nap all day. But there was little rest for it at night....

-----------------------------------------------------

So this work is actually getting along well, though it being out of my comfort zone. Working hard to meet the deadline of the first of April! Published are the first 7 chapters, roughly 4500 words. Total will be around 6000, I think? I know for some 6k is just a chapter, but listen, I will not be able to be funny for 10 chapters of 6k words ;-)

Anyway, would love if you took the time to check it out. You can always check out if you don't like it!

Chapter index:

Baldur's Goat (2026-03-17)

Gorgonzola does not exist (2026-03-19)

Breathe in. Breathe out. Hands aren’t flowers and fingers aren’t grass. (2026-03-21)

Geneva convention? A what? (2026-03-23)

Ruminant animals (2026-03-25)

Hello hot tiefling we totally never ever killed tieflings because we are good and nice (2026-03-27)

Midnight snack (2026-03-29)

Goartifact and pneumomagica (2026-03-30)

Fly, you fools! (2026-03-31)

(5803 words) by Wait_what_Pancakes Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Halsin/Tav (Baldur's Gate), Astarion/Tav (Baldur's Gate)

Summary: Tav has a secret mission. A mission that any ovulating recent divorcee has when put in a camp full of hot people and a time limit on their days of living: pleasure and distraction.

So it stung when Halsin did not want to dance with her. Settling for Astarion's embrace that night was bliss, but she cannot get the druid out of her head.

No, she does not want to choose between man or bear.

One evening, she sees Halsin disappear into the woods by himself. Suspicious, she declares. She secretly follows until it has turned too dark to return to camp on her own. But why would she want to? What she sees surpasses anything she could have imagined.

"It's in my eye! My eye!"

A world of intrigue.... .... A world of pain.

"Aw, such a cute little goat!" "My spleen! It ate my SPLEEN!"

One creature will decide the fate of the world...

"It's the one! It's the goat!"

..... for better, or for worse.

THIS SPRING, STAY TUNED FOR THE GOATVENTURE OF A LIFETIME

✨BALDUR'S GOAT✨

Now available on screens worldwide. Series finale on April 1st.

*Viewer discretion is advised. May contain blood, violence, outdated meme references and inconsistent pronouns.*