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@canijustbellarke
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#the leisure queen
did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays
but then Christianity found out about it and were likeĀ āFucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!ā and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.
so thanks Christians for ruining everyoneās fucking fun
Derry Girls + text posts 2/?
š¬

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full offense but if my college professor can look me in my eyes while im wearing a "baby slut" crop top and mini skirt and explain the homework, high school teachers should be able to fucking handle a literal child wearing shorts smh
Walk into a job interview wearing the same thing, OP. See how far you get.
Hate to break it to you but a college lecture isnāt a job interview. You can and should wear whatever you want in college. And high schoolers should be able to wear fucking shorts. Itās hot sometimes.
happy BFSN & BFGD!
there isnāt much happening right now, other than that Iām home now, looking after everything and putting out fires while my parents are on holidays. oh, the jealousy.
no pic today because some time ago i was tagged by @pendragaryen to make a pic using this thing right hereĀ and for once, i didnāt just forget about it but the thing wouldnāt load on my phone and my computer and i havenāt been on speaking terms lately. the pic came out pretty coolāi sure wish i looked this cool.Ā
and for #BFGN, this week i am immensely grateful for all the people who read my fics. i just noticed that i got over 5k kudos on AO3, which is justāstaggering. thank you all so much for that, i love you all!
tagged tonight by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold
tagging my usual list:Ā @famousflowermagazine @pendragaryen @nvermindiseeyou @talistheintrovertĀ @clarkgriffon @the-most-beautiful-broom @keiraknighted @kindclaws @avaluxroseĀ @wankadi @asroarke @bellarkebc @catastrophic-chloe @bellamys11thfreckleĀ @broashwhat @hostagetakerandhistraitor @thegriffin-blakefamilyĀ @thehundredtimesobsessed @shaeheda @octannibal-blake @belloftheskyĀ @johnmurphysass @pawprinterfanfic @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @peterstarkssĀ @viviansternwood @baellamy @river-kom-spacekru @here-for-s6-clarkegriffin-angstĀ @niylah @tabatharich @eyessharpweaponshot @barnes-107th @junebugninjaĀ @canijustbellarke @sometimesrosyĀ @braveprincess @llysandraĀ @frecklessbellamyĀ @tracylorde @katchyalaterĀ @annieik03 @sly2o @taco-bellamy@jasperjoordan @amazalina @lameblake @craniumhurricane@deanorutyrondyĀ @detectivebellamyblake - for that pic-making thing, too, and if you guys have already done that, feel free to ignore me; or tag me in those, i wanna see that!
Happy Hiatus-BFSN my friends!
I donāt really have any updates on my end since life has really been taking a swing at me lately lol. But I really missed chatting with everyone so I wanted to send some love out to you all! I hope youāre doing well and enjoying life. Make sure you drink some water and sit up straight! (two things I need to be doing right now lol)
Stress has made writing pretty impossible but Iām hoping I can find some time soon to get back into it. As well as reading the amazing fics you all have been putting out there! In the mean time, be kind to yourself and others. Make time for yourself and listen to what your body needs. Love yāallĀ ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
Tag list (feel free to let me know if you donāt want to be tagged during the hiatus or really just ever haha):
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Is McFly Album 6 Out Yet?
Day 2348: No.

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i'm losing my head over this pictures
Icons.
Me: wow Iām way too attached to fictional characters
Me: *sees yāall send death threats to writers because you didnāt agree with their decisions*
Me: never mind Iām attached the healthy amount
wish i would get thirstfollowed. but yāall only follow me cuz iām funny and brilliant or whatever
First day of life up until 6th gradeĀ
Jumped all the way to Freshman year of High School
Then I cut my hair Junior year, why did I do that
Slowly it started growing back and thenā¦.
I finally felt comfortable to express myself (the picture on the left was my debut)
At this point in my transition I am 6 months into HRT
A year on HRT
Over a year and a half on hormones. My transition hasnāt been the clearest path but I am so happy that I am on it.
Update:
2 years since my coming outĀ
2 years on hrt
2.3 years on hrt
2 and a half years on hormonesĀ
Its been a while since Iāve done an update so here it goes
At this point I am 3 years into my Hormone Replacement Therapy. Iām thriving.Ā
These pictures were taken days apart and I am 3 and a half years into my medical transition (The picture on the right was also posted by Instagram on all their major social media handles attached with an interview I did with them for International Womenās Month)
During this time I was 4 years into HRT. Clearly living for it.
I am currently 4 and a half years into HRT, 5 years into socially transitioning, 6 years into when i first came out to my community around me and Iām loving life more than I ever thought I would.Ā
Lil mini update!! Itās my 5 years on hormones and I think thatās quite the milestone to be proud of so hereās some pics since the last update.
Canāt wait to see how the next 5 years go!
New Update!!
Today is my 6 years on HRT! Half a dozen years seems like it went by a lot faster than i thought it would but Iām so grateful for the place that Iām in both with my appearance and my perception of myself. I feel a confidence I never thought I could achieve.
everytime i see this thereās new pictures and my heart swells everytime! this makes me so happy!
1x04 // 2x04

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all you guys are like āfake dating auā and āroommate au!!!ā and im just here intellectually superior with my āau where the characters have to go on a long dangerous journey with one character supposed to protect the other but they canāt stand each other at first and constantly bicker and butt heads but then as their journey continues theyāre constantly having to save each other and they learn more and more about each other and they have self reflection in the quieter moments of their journey and maybe at one point theyāre under a lot of stress and exhausted and theyāre sitting at a campfire together and maybe they need to warm up in a cave and maybe one of the characters was wounded so the other is patching them up and thereās a sudden yearning for intimacy and they have an explosive moment of realization and make love while scared itāll be the only time they ever canā
the fact that tangled has a perfect set-up for major miscommunication between rapunzel and eugene to be the final emotional climax of the movie (āwhyād you leave meā) but instead sidesteps that in favor of a beautiful battle between the two of them in which they try to out-sacrifice each other because they love and understand each other that much. the fact that they each try to save the other using the best means theyāve got at their disposal, the ones theyāve used their whole lives: rapunzel bargaining with mother gothel and promising away pieces of herself- this time all of herself- in exchange for his safety, Eugene pulling one final scam and trick when he feigns tenderly touching her face so he can actually cut off all her hair and set her free. the fact that Eugeneās plan works but as a result he dies, Flynn dies. (he told us this at the beginning, āthis is the story of how I diedā but remember- itās a fun story.) The fact that the swashbuckling rogue and trickster and thief Flynn DIES so that rapunzel, the girl who never got to have a life, can LIVE. The fact that after one final successful trick Flynn dies so Eugene, little lost orphan boy, can rise again in his final and only role as a good man and as rapunzelās husband- all of these make tangled the masterpiece it is. in this essay I will
OP whereās the essaaaaay
What unites Eugene and Rapunzel, what forms the basis of their connection, is not just their lonely, isolated, unloved childhoods but the mechanisms they each used and still use to try to fill the voids in their lives. And those mechanisms boil down to- keeping busy, whatever the cost. Rapunzelās opening song is literally a montage of her desperate attempts to fill an otherwise empty day (and empty life) and Eugene steals for the riches, sure, but mostly for the adventure, the thrill, the chase. The motion and color of it and the ways in which it is the opposite of boredom, the opposite of emptiness.Ā
They are both resourceful and determined, used to doing the best they can with what they have, and as a result they encounter each other and decide to team up. Practicality, not romance, is what drives them together and what keeps them together for much of the movie.
Their methods of filling voids with whatever scheme they can concoct, the skills theyāve both gained from their past experiences, become the means they use to achieve their shared goal: get Rapunzel to the city to watch the floating lights and return her safely home. The scrapes and (mis)adventures they get into on their way are not just filler or fluff; they are opportunities to highlight the natural teamwork they have, the ways in which they complement and complete each other and so help each other: Rapunzel solves the run-in with the group of thugs/misfits with vulnerability and openness; together, they escape from the guards and avoid drowning.Ā
Already this is an improvement on their previous work, their previous ābusinessā. It has more warmth, it has more success, it has more color. But thatās not all. Alongside their adventures, they start to talk to each other. Confide in each other. Nothing huge or dramatic. When he tells her his name he follows it with the dryly delivered āsomeone might as well knowā. And when he asks about the situation at home, his voice is gentle and kind but not full of depth of feeling just yet. But itās real, honest connection about their pasts and so contains within it the articulation of their emptiness. Itās the realest relationship either of them have ever had. Itās far realer than anything their past endeavors have ever brought them.
When they reach the lights, Rapunzel realizes this and it comes out in her words expressing her fears and worries about the lights. Understandably, sheās scared finally seeing the lights wonāt be enough. But then, and hereās the beautiful thing, sheās scared that it will be.Ā āAnd what if it is,ā she says, tears in her eyes and voice. āWhat then?ā This is the moment in which Rapunzel recognizes that she really has never filled the void in her life, the place where real love and human connection should be, and that the lights wonāt do it either. Chasing the lights was her noblest effort yet, a beautiful and real and a valid dream, but still not enough. because the lights are not a person and the lights canāt love her back.Ā
Eugeneās answer to this is hopeful- thereās always another dream to chase. But he still doesnāt really have an answer for her. He doesnāt really understand.
Until they see the lights.Ā
Until they see the lights together.Ā
Their golden glow and beauty is enchanting, itās everything she dreamed it would be. And then, itās more.Ā
And itās more because when she turns around, right at the end of the first verse, she sees him. Holding her dream in her hands, watching her watch it, experiencing it with her.Ā
Thatās when she knows.Ā
She hands him the satchel and he knows he knows too.Ā
He knows that there is no new dream, no better dream, than her, than a real life of love with the person in front of him.Ā
After the lights happens everything I said in the original post. Theyāre torn apart and beautifully, magically, unexpectedly Mother Gothelās ploy to sow discord between them doesnāt work. Rapunzel sees through Mother Gothelās lie to see the truth of everything, including his reasons for leaving, and when he shows up there is no reproach or misunderstanding to clear away. Like I said in my original post, they understand each other now.Ā
And like I said in the post above, Rapunzelās bargaining for his life and Eugeneās cutting off of her hair are the means they use to set the other free. And ultimately Eugene wins. He dies and his death, the first time she truly experiences loss, opens her up to a fuller understanding of and use of her magic and her healing. He is restored to her and they live (truly) happily ever after.
But my point with all of this is, the heart of the story and its own specific magic, is that their skills and habits and means- whatever the word we want to use is- garnered by each of their efforts to fill their life with meaning finally fulfilled their true purpose, finally made them happy. Because they stopped being the end goal of their lives and became the means to their true purpose- the life and love they have with each other.Ā