My anything blog ^.^

"So... what is a whatever blog?" It's whatever I want it to be!! It's not a real thing!! I find it helpful to describe it that way to ease self-imposed expectations of a pretty or cohesive blog, as strange as that may sound :) It's also somewhere I can experiment with and understand myself as a person away from the eyes of my irls (intimidating)

"Wait is that it is this the end of the post-" Yes!! That's all I have to say for now!! Check back later, maybe I'll have added something ^3^

Today was a day I was honestly kinda dreading.

The idea of an organized beach day event for trans ppl by trans ppl sounded so fun, so a few weeks ago a friend and I decided to go together. I was looking forward to it.. but as the days went on I wasn’t so sure anymore. I hadn’t found swimwear I was happy with, and I was feeling rly self conscious in general and exhausted by the idea of going out, especially since said friend invited a couple of their own friends (which didn’t upset me, I’m just shy). But I knew I would feel worse canceling than just going, so last night I packed my bag with everything I could need and triiiiieeeed to get some sleep (which didn’t happen until 1am 😔)

Instead of the usual anxiety and awkwardness I go through, I actually feel rly light and open. In the car, me and said friend’s friends had nice convo, shared music and jokes, and got to know each other a little bit. Once we got to the beach, we set up and we rushed into the water. It felt so nice despite the much-less-than-optimal beach weather! We swam and jumped off big waves and splashed each other. Strangers joined and became acquaintances and the vibes were just so relaxing and fun and it just felt so nice to be surrounded by trans ppl somewhere like the beach (which I think a lot of fellow trans ppl can relate, is kinda scary to go to when ur trans!!) and feel safe and understood without having to say anything. I’m rly lucky to have been able to attend this event, and to even live somewhere that can host something like this

We got food after we were done with the beach and had some more laughs and more convo and it was all just rly great. I unfortunately forgot to take photos, but I enjoyed myself a lot and rly needed this I think ^.^

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