Candid Abnegate

Text: Psalms 7-9; Acts 18

The word “refuge” evokes romantic images, doesn’t it? Perhaps it’s because such an old word that we associate it with kings and kingdoms and battles fought by brave knights and warriors. Allies were hard to come by then and their constancy were always up for debate for one reason or another. 

But God! Consider these words:

“When I consider your heavens,

    the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

    which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

    the son of man that you care for him?

How wonderful to have such a One as our ally! To consider that not only is He omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent, He is constant in His love!

Yet we ask, “Why Me, Lord?” What is so special about me? We are special because the God who created us made us special, regardless of our weaknesses, faults and wretchedness. Therefore, let our hearts lift up in praise and thankfulness. Thank You, for being such a God!

Disclaimer: Photo taken from http://www.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://www.langleyhillquakers.org/images/5-21%252520peace.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.langleyhillquakers.org/peace_and_international.aspx&h=256&w=320&tbnid=-t6ZEfRKGsKMRM:&zoom=1&docid=45Em2jGI0pMnUM&ei=6Z-MVcylGaXCmwX4_oL4Bg&tbm=isch&ved=0CAoQMygGMAY4ZA

Text: Psalms 4-6; Acts 17:16-34

God, please give me peace.

God is not whimsical, moody or petty; He is not man. His love is such that He gave us the ultimate sacrifice of all: Jesus at the Cross. The cost was His to pay and ours to reap!

Oh, to be able to surrender one's fears and worries and, like David, be able to rest in undisturbed slumber despite the chaos around! To look at the hurtful beliefs of others and with stoic calm, like Paul, be able to deliver sound wisdom to persuade! 

All these can only come from God!

So... What is stopping you from seeking, claiming and proclaiming His peace. 

Disclaimer: This artwork may be protected by copyright. It was taken from http://www.wikiart.org/en/diego-rivera/the-embrace-1923 and is listed as a completed fresco by Diego Rivera.

Text: Psalms 1-3; Acts 17:1-15

Two words: distorted priorities.

Just two words and yet they accurately sum up how most people--even Christians--view meditating on their Bibles, praying and spending time on fellowship. To many of us, these three are just not in the same boat as breathing, eating and drinking. To some, they’re not even in the same category as hygiene and exercise. And to a select number, they don’t even merit a footnote on that odd night out to reward oneself from working too hard.

All distorted priorities. How can nourishing the spirit not be of equivalent, if not superior value as the caring for one’s body? The former is, for all intents and purposes eternal while the latter is ephemeral even at its best.

Disclaimer: Photo taken from http://www.dhunplugged.com/2013/08/14/dhunplugged-191-you-gotta-biggggg-mouth/

What Comes Out?

Text: Job 41-42; Acts 16:22-40

It is with reason that man is often ‘measured’ when he is angry... or sad, or devastated. Because, when we are suffering from the most extreme of afflictions, that is the time when we find ourselves least able to think before we speak or act. Arguably, what comes out of us then is who we truly are. 

Job stood out from among his friends and family precisely because of this. Yes, he needed to know why (which is about the only mistake he committed) but he asked in such a way that no one would doubt that his regard for the Lord had abated in the least. And at that precise moment when he found himself ‘conversing’ with the Lord, his awe could only lead him to repentance and worship. 

The same thing is true with Paul and Silas. They had been beaten publicly and jailed and yet... they found themselves only capable of praise and song! They were so at peace that, even when nature intervened to ‘release’ them from their prison, they opted to stay! What could only follow after such display of excellence in spirit even in the face of great hurt and unexpected opportunity is the salvation of many.

The key to their excellence in spirit in times of crisis? God.

Disclaimer: Image courtesy of http://embodiedself.net/attuned-touch/

Text: Job 38-40; Acts 16

ATTUNED

Confused? Where is that decisive line that separates one’s often deceitful (and manipulative) feelings with that of the leading of the Lord?

To many of us, opening our Bibles and reading of such phrases as “kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching,” “the Spirit would not allow them” and “concluding that God had called them to” make us feel as though as if we are living in an era too painfully disillusioned for anything so “supernatural” as these to happen.

But is it really just a matter of living in the “wrong era”? Or is it more of a matter of being “attuned”?

The solution? Spend time with men and women of God who will always be truthful with you. Spend time being alone and examine your mind, heart and spirit. And last but not the least, spend time with Him--immerse in His presence to such a level that you consciously bring yourself to that saturation point where you know you can no longer practice self-deceit even if you called upon yourself to do so.

Encouraging Words:

Text: Job 36 & 37; Acts 15

Today is pretty special as I’m celebrating my 37th birthday. A lot has been happening lately, with my oh-so-wonderful husband and my two little angels sometimes taking the brunt of my hormonal responses.

How blessed am I! To have amazing health despite my age, to have my Mom okay despite her health conditions, to have my hubby and kids perfectly safe, happy and healthy despite the many challenges that life has been presenting to us. God is good!

READINGS: Genesis 8

The rain had stopped and the floodwaters had receded. Noah had come out, together with his loved ones, along with all the creatures he had with him. There were new lovely plants and trees growing all around him. But there was nobody else but them.

So all right. There is much scholarly debate as to whether the story of Noah and the ark is indeed historical fact, or a sort of realistic illustration, or just pure fiction. But that is beside the point. I'm not a Bible scholar and most of us can't even hope to be one. So you and I, let's not pretend.

But this, we won't need to pretend about: the gems of wisdom behind the story. 

Imagine having just arrived at some new place, carrying with you the highest expectations by those who trust you... but not really knowing anybody there, with practically no one to ask for help from. 

Just you and no one else. You've got two choices: you tough it out, play it by ear and somehow, succeed with flying colors despite just winging it. Or you fold into despair and hopelessness. For many of us who also carry loved ones who rely on us on our shoulders, failure is just not an option. So you wing it and use all the means possible to overcome all the obstacles before you by all the methods out there that your conscience and your principles allow you to take.

I tell you, every day you tell yourself, "It can't get any worse than this..." and then you find yourself saying it again... and again... and again.

But the good thing about that? As water droplets meet the sunshine, a rainbow comes out. And like God's promise of the rainbow, all bad things have to end some time. And when they do, there will always be a reward in some form at the end of the line.

READINGS: Matthew 2

Who has never dreamed of a "happily ever after?"

Young or old, rich or poor, accomplished or complete failures -- we clutch at that idea in one form or another.

For most of us, that belief is an underlying dream drilled in childhood, courtesy of the fairy tales that were either read to us, or we'd read for ourselves. For others, it's that belief of a perfect world waiting for us someday--heaven, paradise, nirvana and all related locations of bliss.

For those who have gone through suffering that, for the most part, are outside of their control and something they have "not deserved," that happily ever after is a sustaining hope that keeps them sane and strong enough to survive still another day.

For those who have done wrong and are repentant of that wrong, it is a comforting faith that, all the effort to make things right will end someday in a place where there will no longer be any judgment, punishment and suffering.

Here was Mary, blessed among all women. Here was Joseph, whom angels talked to in dreams. Here was Jesus, the King of kings who chose to be born in suffering that had to begin from inception (when Joseph almost left Mary) to birth (in a manger, of all places) to childhood (as a carpenter's son) to adulthood (as a man of God without a home to call His own) to death (the cursed death on the Cross of Calvary). 

And then here were the Magi who had the most awesome gifts all ready to be delivered to the Savior.

A happily ever after? Not quite. So many babies two years old and below died even as Joseph, Mary and Jesus lived the lives of fugitives. 

But, if you DO read on, then you learn that all that had a purpose, somehow, on the tapestry of God's great plan.

Me? I believe in happily ever afters not because such a belief will sustain me or comfort me, but because it's a truth that is recorded in that one place where the Word is alive and ministers... and transcends cultures and circumstances!

READINGS: Genesis 1-3, Matthew 1

Mom is such a health buff that for as long as I can remember, we had been drilled to "push away from the table before you feel stuffed."

I never got around to really doing that because I NEVER felt stuffed. My metabolism was, is and always will be the most well-meaning of culprits-she's a real fast one.

So, among all of us in the house, I'm the one who's always got mountains of food on hand because of hunger. And reed thin I always was, Mom could find no issue with me except that I had to get my chores done; food should not be too much of a distraction! I, of course, also had an active lifestyle that helped with the burning of all that fuel, so there!

Fast forward to present date. I'm a wife and mother now and somehow, my metabolism is still the good friend that it has always been. Although I find myself not getting any heavier after weaning my youngest angel, despite the amount of food I eat (and despite never finding the time to exercise anymore from the time I first got pregnant, and later on because of the little ones), I find that I am unable to shed the pounds I had accumulated from sensitive pregnancy to sensitive lactation to sensitive pregnancy again and sensitive lactation again. During these times, exercise was a no-no and my trusty metabolism couldn't really keep up anymore. 

So here I am, not gaining weight after all those mini-events in my life (no regrets though) but unable to shed the fat stores that had gathered up. If it were only for aesthetic reasons, I'd be vain and say I don't really see any need for body contouring. Hubby likes me the way I am and Mom gave me a lot of clothes (that could pass for a young one's; what can I say, she's the elegantly fashionable sort?) that I don't really lack for ensembles! But GERD came along and now, with all the pain I've had to go through, I'm willing to reconsider another lifestyle change: diet and exercise!

There must be a gazillion things that we have all been used to from childhood. But, like Adam, Eve and Jesus, and whether it's through our own doing, or no fault of our own, we will need to adjust to those changes and make the best of everything. Life shouldn't have to end while we're still alive and kicking! 

Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Jesus left the splendors of heaven to be born as suffering man. Radical changes all of them. Rather than weep at a corner and just wait until our end comes, like them, let's do something about it and, who knows, turn out to be blessings ourselves!

As for me? The diet. I am incapable of starving myself. So NO to all the weight loss plans out there; I don't like the feeling of being told NOT to eat certain foods, thank you very much. And I have an inherent fear of diet pills, drinks, teas and whatnot so NO to those, too! 

So where does that leave me? Small plates! Yup! Small plates of what food I've been used to eating. No food type changes, just a change in the amount of food that I've been eating. Still not feeling sated? Go ahead and drink milk, juice, green tea and/or water! You'll feel full enough, I promise.

And the results? These and about a half-hour exercise twice a day (with rest days every fourth day, of course) and after almost two weeks, I've lost a lot of body fat! Do I still miss the amount of food I've been used to eating? Heck, yes! But, I've been assured that once I've developed abs again, GERD will be a long-lost memory so by that time, I can go back to my food romance.

Here's to hoping that all that happens before 2015 ends!

"Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. 

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. 

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-24)

  The biggest letdown I ever felt was during the very first time I joined a local Christian community. You see, I first got to know the Lord in college, at an inter-faith crusade. Back then, I was so struck by the harmony that the very many Christian groups had with each other! This was especially evident at Christian-sponsored events like fundraisers, benefits and missions. One memory that stands out the most is this sort-of "Jericho March" that this umbrella organization that all the Christian organizations and churches in the university belonged to. It was held every month of January and it was such a sight to see! It was fun to try and guess which organization or church was which, just by getting clues from the way each group talked, walked, dressed or behaved in general!

  Anyway, back then, I was told that, the Body of Christ was composed of very differing members for the very reason that each has a role to play. And that, it didn't matter which local church I belonged to, for as long as I have been called to that church and that I heed my calling well. I was invited to different churches under different denominations during their Sunday services to help me figure out "where in the Body of Christ" I was called to.

And then, university ended and I had to go home for good. It was such a letdown.  I kept witnessing how professing believers would allow simple personality clashes to ruin a great vision, a great work or a great relationship. I kept asking myself, "Is this really how it is in real life? Were the years I spent in university, among other believers, an elusive ideal then?" 

Years have gone by since then and I have learned to always just focus on two things: Greatest Commandment #1 and Greatest Commandment #2. First, that I should only focus on God and to make it my life pursuit to know Him, to develop a deep and constant communion with Him and to emulate Him. And second, that I should only focus on His love for humanity that I may love my fellowmen regardless of what our differences may be. 

The verses above can be summarized in two words: harmonious fire (which is also, coincidentally, my working title). In essence, we are to do everything in our power to live in harmony with one another. Why? Because, after all is said and done, there is a common fire that resides in us and moves us: the fire of the Holy Spirit.

Abba God, let not arguments characterize my oneness with the Body of Christ. Let it be our mutual respect and love for one another. Let the embodiment of the fire of the Holy Spirit be seen in me. Amen.

The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" (Matthew 8:27)

As a child, I learned to have the utmost confidence in my father--despite the fact that almost every little thing he set out to do (all things mechanical, that is) ended in comical failure. I didn't know at that time that it was because he was suffering from an illness that made depth of vision and sense of distance a mess to him but to me, even then, he was bigger than life.

Whenever I had a toy that needed fixing, he would botch it up. Then my older brother (who was the mechanical genius at that time) would fix something similar to that and Dad would slyly copy it. On those rare times that his instant-I-copied-my-son's-fix-it-method worked, we would all rejoice, with my Dad ending the ordeal with the words, "Why, did you doubt me?"

Over the years, having had ample evidence of Dad's limitations, I've had ample reason to doubt. But, somehow, I couldn't. Why? Because my heart was always so filled with the realization of how much he loved us that he would try anything, do anything, just so he could be a father to us. Compared to my friends' dads, he was priceless.

But there is someone who is not just willing, but also able to be there for me whenever things get out of control. And you know the funny thing about this is? Despite his track record of always succeeding, I often end up doubting him! 

Who is this someone? JESUS.

Did you doubt Me? 

We have so much faith in other people for various reasons - most of them logical, a chosen few illogical even. But when it comes to the Lord of lords and God of gods, we always end up limiting Him, testing Him, belittling Him. Is it human nature to do so? Maybe. Influence of circumstances, the people around us or the enemy? Perhaps. But one thing is certain: if we really call ourselves Christians, we should have an understanding confidence in Him.

That next time that still another crisis comes, may we be so infilled with His presence that even when nothing makes sense, we find that we so understand His heart that we can only have confidence in Him...

By then, may we never again hear Him ask, "Did you doubt Me?"

I had accidentally eavesdropped on a 'counseling session' between my parents and a group of 'grownups' as a kid. Then and there, I decided that I wanted to become a doctor, and a psychiatrist, if possible. I was what... three or four years old?

What prompted the thought? Well, I overheard them saying this, "If only he would listen! You know what, Gee, Quiel, that's the problem with the world today. People seldom listen. And those who refuse to listen the most are those whom you love the most. I guess that's what psychiatrists are for, huh? They get paid big bucks for just listening."

No wonder I wanted to be a psychiatrist! As a little kid, the imagery was appealing, no doubt. All you do is ask the next patient to come in, grab a pen and paper and listen. After the patient's done, you call in the next one while the patient that just left goes to your secretary to pay. Big bucks, all for just listening.

Of course I don't think that way anymore. But from that moment forward, I took a valuable lesson with me: Listen. Among my friends, whoever I may be with at the moment, that is the one thing that I endeavor to always do: Listen. 

But over the course of time, Life happened, I guess. I began to need people to listen to me, too. Like when I was struggling with my grades in the university. Or when my grandmother died. Or when I heard that our usually financially challenging situation just became even more challenging. Or when my father died. Or when the doctor told me, while I was pregnant and alone, that my sick one-year-old, my precious baby, could die. Or when the doctor said that my less-than-a-month-old baby had a hole in her heart. But because the people around me were already used to me being the listener, it became really hard to find someone. Now and again, I do find a really trusted friend with some free time and no issues, but that's rare. And more often than not, even when that happens, the itch to patronize is scratched and I just end up losing creditabilty and gaining a regretful heart.

But what joy still! Why? Because He hears! 

I keep picturing how different it would have been if the Lord did not hear. If I could not commune with Him in prayer with the certainty that He understands the anguish of my soul even when my spirit is so overwhelmed that I can neither utter nor silently form the words. Because, sometimes, in our darkest moments, we're like that. Our hearts heave and our spirits groan and our minds can't form any intelligible words, being filled, instead, with visions that torture the soul. Truth to tell, if I had not known this with absolute certitude, subsequent thoughts, decisions and actions would have been quite heartbreaking. 

So, Lord, this post--love letter, actually--is for You. Thank You. Thank You for being a God who hears. ^_^

"Take courage..."

More than once. The Lord had to say this to His disciples more than once, and each time, it is disheartening how we've had to stand and watch how hard their hearts were. 

And yet, don't our hearts, in the end, turn out to be harder than theirs?

Yes, they were alive when our Lord breathed and walked this earth. Yes, they were with Him as He taught and healed and caused the dead to breathe again. Yes, they were with Him as He silenced angry winds, calmed seas and wrestled with the Devil himself. And yet, again and again, they refused to believe.

But are we any better? From the moment we got to know Him, hasn't He held our hand, caused miracles to happen and saved us from ourselves countless times? And yet, when the going gets rough, again and again, we turn to our own strength, to anybody else, except Him. Why? Because we, too, refuse to believe.

"Take courage..."

Living with courage is not an end-state that we ought to aspire for. To live this way is not to live at all; it is an attitude of escapism. Living with courage happens from the moment we concede the scepter of power in our lives to God. It is then we begin to live in His strength; it is then we begin to live in His courage. 

Living with courage at this moment is the end-state I aspire for. I will not look beyond that. There is no after courage... and then... Because, courage, that is the end. My every moment, if I am indeed my Savior's child, must be lived to that end.

I fully intend to type this in my BlackBerry later, for posting. But for now, I’m writing this ‘old school style’ - using my trusty old fountain pen (No, I’m not THAT old. But I admit to finding writing with a fountain pen strangely charming.).

Anyhoo, the kids have just finished their daily morning health routines (vitamins and choco-milk, which they kind-a hate :() And, I’ve just finished breakfast. As they’re not hungry yet, they’re busy pretend-cooking while watching episodes of “Brainy Baby.” What can I say? Multi-tasking much?

I haven’t been home for the good part of the week and I just feel so blessed that the kids still clamor for my company. Just doing little things together with them, no matter how mundane, or inane, is enough to keep them happy and smiling all day. Just my responding to their every request and query with a smile (even when what they’re saying is all gibberish) is enough to keep them content. I guess that’s the power of being a mother.

A mother’s power.

As the mother in this little story, it does feel good to wield this much power, but it does feel quite scary, too. It reminds me that just as my mere presence is enough to give them untold joy, my look of dismay and/or disappointment is also enough to keep them down until the day is done. So I should be careful of this power; it must not be used carelessly.

Being in a position of authority should bring one to his/her knees. It should bring one to reflect. What am I inadvertently teaching the eyes that see my every action? Are my motives pure? Do these motives reflect in everything I do? What kind of character traits am I inadvertently modeling to the people around me? Are these praiseworthy? Will they lead those eyes that admire further on the right path? Do they inspire or cause despair?

Jesus Christ is the ultimate model of authority. He neither abused His power nor forsook it. He wielded His power in such a way as to set standards of holiness, of integrity, of passion and of excellence that, even until now, thousands of years later, are capable of instructing many.

Yes, I am the authority here. But I want my life as a person of authority to be both a standard of goodness and a legacy of excellence. Dear Lord, help me.