Death Note

this. This bit right here where he dries L’s hair off. on the surface, it seems like a nice gesture- something kind, the sort of thing you do just to be nice, and fair, not expecting a reward.

but look:

The only reason Light cared was because L’s hair was dripping water onto his foot. What I take from this scene is that Light only cares to do anything particularly benevolent when it’s directly affecting him, be that L’s hair dripping water on him, or his need to feel like a God. His superiority complex makes him appear kind, but he would have no interest in helping others if it weren’t serving him in some way.

Because it’s December and it has been in my folder for a while.

It's an interesting thought!

I adore these two in any form, but the potential of this dynamic in particular had me thinking plots that had my brain noodles excited since way back when I was in the middle of writing Time Speaks.

Now, L's gender wouldn't change anything about him, not really, but Light? Oh, it would be a whole new act for her to put on. And with L still male, it ensures it's not just a repeat of canon, but a whole new exploration of their characters, their dynamic, and the world they live in.

So in this AU, we have a Light Yagami who grew up in a society that told her she was lesser. That implied her gender was predictive of her place and abilities. But she wouldn't actually have a lot of anger about her gender I feel, since that goes against her natural feelings of superiority based on her intellect, so she'd just see it as the world being wrong as usual (rotten, if you will). She would look down on men for how easy they were to manipulate; not that anyone else would ever see these thoughts. Except Sayu, who Light raises with care.

Now, while said world would make it harder for her to rise up, Light is someone who gets what she wants and thrives on a challenge. She would use gender as her stepping stone, playing the "good girl" role to perfection.

And she'd be so very good at it. A much better manipulator than male Light.

Now, when she gets the Death Note, the story goes about the same at the start because Light Yagami is Light Yagami regardless.

Then in comes L, the first person who bested her, the first person she hates, and the plot changes. L is the only person, the only man, who looks at her and sees Kira. The only man who is deadpanned and blank to her "good girl" act and meets her provocation for provocation. Infuriating her every time they meet simply by being as smart as she is. By looking at her pointedly crossed arms, at her 'casual' forward-leaning posture, at her inviting smile--and blandly asking if her back hurts like his sometimes does.

How dare he.

How dare he see and value and fear her for her intelligence? He is certain she is Kira despite how aghast every other man and woman in her life is about the very idea of it.

They call L mad. Sexist. He ignores them and insists he's right, that no one else could be Kira but Light. That she's perfect.

And Light? She hates him for seeing through her. He scares her right back.

But she also can't stop herself from craving the acknowledgement.

The game between them would be so different and yet just as complicated this time, because while the two of them don't care about gender, they know this about each other, the rest of the world is not at their level and can't stop their bias about it. And Light uses that to her advantage; Kira will use any shield.

While L will do his best to strip her bare of all her lies.

So Light plays with the world's perceptions of womanhood in her war against L, using her 'weak' gender and 'need for protection' to manipulate the police against him. While L continues to pursue his Kira with a single-minded focus and certainty. He knows it's her.

But now he has to work even harder to prove it because no one is willing to listen to him. He has no proof, and in this universe, that means a lot more to the task force.

Light is smug about this, internally of course. She sweetly tells him to give up and start looking for the 'real' Kira.

L blinks at her and says he'll give up when she stops being a serial killer.

Light hates him.

But she also can't stop thinking about him. She can't stop revelling in how he sees her like no one else was ever willing to. And she eventually decides that she'll get him to give into her too, like she's gotten everyone else in her life. She'll make him admit he wants her, too. That he's human just like they all are, that he has feelings. (Just like she does).

She'll give him her attention in a way no one else has ever deserved. And L better appreciate it.

And after that? She'll kill him, of course.

She's Kira. She's pitiless. She plays to win.

But she might as well...enjoy L while he's here.

He's the only one she'd ever want to have in that way.

As for L? Well he's more than willing to play along, in any and all ways Light wants. He's seen her from the start, seen Kira behind her sweet smile, and he's entranced by her as always. He'd want her in any form, and gender is just one more tool of the brilliant mind he'll always be obsessed with, in any universe.

And he's absolutely thrilled at this game.

So, yeah!! I love this AU and one day, I'll write it, but for now thank you to the amazing artist @thanatelle who inspired these current thoughts! His work is so good <3

Ah, yes, female Light. aka Light “not like other girls” Yagami. here’s what Light would be like as a girl, imo

Light realizes pretty early on she has an automatic disadvantage in the world by being a woman, but along with an undying need to prove herself better than most men she’s also smart enough to know how to use what she has to her advantage.

She has no interest in sex, and in general supports modesty, but has no qualms about manipulating men with the one thing they can’t say no to (her). So think button downs and very well fitting khakis, but with one too many buttons undone and her makeup always exceptional. conservative slut chic, if you will.

She’s a master at the “I’m doing something incredibly normal in an incredibly sexual way and I don’t even notice but you sure do” thing.

Light !! Has !! Long !! Hair !! And she’s proud of it, too.

Social justice rants about gender inequality.

Soichiro is proud of her for her accomplishments and brags about her and her achievements to all his coworkers.

Light still wants to be a part of the NPA when she graduates and her dad still lets her help on cases sometimes.

She’s the best older sister but Sayu steals her clothes and she hates it. She makes a joke once about how Kira kills thieves like her and Sayu cried for an hour. Light never joked about that again.

Light firmly believes she’s “not like other girls” and looks down on other females, believing them petty and shallow. She hates sleepovers.

Misa’s not bothered by Light being another woman. In fact, she didn’t realize how much she’d like it until she saw her. She really likes it.

Matsuda’s in love with her.

tennis skirts.

“light was a junior tennis champion” “yeah of the women’s division”

She’s used to being frequently underestimated and plays up the “dumb woman like me can’t be Kira!” angle for the cameras when she knows she’s being watched by calling her friends on the phone and talking about boys and shopping for hours. and hours. and hours.

She never gets complacent because her entire life she’s had work to prove herself, but she does get over-confident about not getting caught because she knows people are less likely to suspect her because she’s female.

L isn’t less likely to suspect her because she’s female and it pisses her off. L can see straight through her “good girl” act and calls her out on it frequently. The fact that Light is a female literally does not change his view or her or Kira in any way shape or form, and that’s not according to Light’s keikaku

She definitely tries to seduce L to manipulate his feelings and it definitely doesn’t work and she definitely gets pissed the fuck off about it because um?? hello?? look at her??

Ohh thank you! I love thinking about fem!Light too....

I think she'd still be using her good looks and charm to her advantage in a fairly jaded and matter-of-fact sort of whenever necessary, but that maybe she'd be doing it more secretly instead of openly. She might at least be trying to make it appear like she was attempting to keep her busy dating life a secret from others, anyway (even if she actually did want L or anybody else tailing her to find out about it for whatever plan she had in place). I think she would be judged more negatively by others and looked down upon if she was being really openly flirtatious with a lot of different people as a girl, whereas male Light was just as often admired and envied for his womanizing as getting any dirty or incredulous looks. I'm thinking of stuff like how their classmate at To-Oh judges Kiyomi and says he's lost all respect for her whenever he finds out that she made the first move on Light initially, for example. And how much Soichiro and Sachiko got protective and angry at the thought of Sayu dating someone, which was a pretty stark contrast to how generally permissive they were about Light dating someone.