Vingt-cinq, selon ma faveur
Hello!
Today, I turned twenty-five years old. Unlike the excitement and fun brought by the years that have long and previously gone by, turning 25 didnât wake me up with people singing happy birthday, cake/s in a box, or ended the day with many, many photographs with families and long time friends. This year was different. I celebrated my day with my family (virtually, due to the quarantine) filled with a different kind of excitement that tells me that today marks the day when I finish the first quarter of my life and I embark on the last few years of my prime years. And just like any years, months, days, and seconds that went by, I can no longer go back and undo anything from the past 25 years. I felt that the next quarter of my life was mostly determined by my first quarter and the following, the preceding. No matter where I looked, I felt responsible for every new day that Iâll wake up to--responsible for making each day count towards who Iâm going to be when I turn 26, then later 30.Â
Turning 18 felt like yesterday. I remember being so young and wild and wishing that I was 21 so I could buy my own alcohol. When I turned 21, things felt very exciting! I was so eager to take on so many things, and I was very aggressive with chasing my goals and dreams. I was relentless, fearless, and excited by the things that I wanted to accomplish for that year! Life was filled with colors. I made a lot of friends I spent a lot of time with, even more than I did with my family. I spent the past years between being 18 and 24 celebrating New Years, Christmases, and Thanksgiving Days in ways Iâve never done before, and avoiding doing the same things twice even in different holidays. I traveled solo internationally for a month, then with my brother the next year. I learned so many things that I only wished I could learn when I was back in our country. I did great in school, and I was able to buy things I didnât think I would afford before I was 18. It was the time of my life. I had so much fun, and I am filled with gratitude to my younger self for being so fearless and for being passionate about living life to the fullest and for teaching me the wonder of lifelong curiosity and the value of pursuing the things that ignited my heart and soul and of keeping track and really putting in every effort you can to conquer those.
Today, I woke up feeling like a child, when, ironic as it may sound, I am obviously not anymore. Being a fan of holidays and birthdays, I was eager to mark this day doing things that I want to do for the day. So, with my sophisticated taste for fine food, I whipped myself up an enhanced version of Truffle Pappardelle from scratch, inspired by the high-end restaurant in NYC, Scalinatella. I also baked myself a layered Tres Leches cake, with 3 candles and decorative lettering. I wrote a few things about how I want the next years of my life to be, the things I dream of having in the future (because I think thatâs where they belong), and just a few other things that I did not want to forget. Right, a checklist is the key to success. At dinner, I had a little toast with my family, after being in a few conference calls with friends, and responding to over a hundred greetings online. I felt very happy with how the day turned out. It outdid my expectations and goals. One thing for sure is that I truly appreciate the people who remembered me, not just due to online reminders, but those who had me in their minds as this month commenced. Their warm wishes alone already made my day, and I did not need the rare and extravagant truffle (no way, I love that truffle pasta! It was to die for, FYI! ) to make myself feel like a million bucks!
In any case, no amount of Truffle Pappardelle could prepare me for the following years, let alone the following day, Monday. I am happy to announce that I recently accepted a high-caliber Ph.D. training offer from a 2-year program at my university, and an undergraduate position at a Biomedical Research Facility focusing on Neuroimmunology. I am incredulous and filled with excitement as I embark on this journey that will dictate and control many aspects of my career and my future. This entire journey, like many journeys Iâve taken prior, is a crucial step in molding my chosen path -- Ph.D. graduate school. As daunting as it sounds, I chose to take the 5th year to dedicate the year after graduation acquiring lab training and conducting research at a well-funded facility, with a well-known program. At this age, resume matters more than the year of graduation. So I do not feel any regrets about my decision, especially that itâs been widely supported by people and respected people whose opinions matter a lot to me. Right, Monday. Tomorrow is my second week at the lab, and we start with piles of scientific publications about the ongoing pandemic -- COVID-19-- which, by the way, I had to read while baking. Notice, I do not put much attention to how I write, unlike I used to back in the days. It is mostly just because I learned that it is better to get to write what your heart desires, then your mind would probably take care of the details later (if that ever comes). Yeah, Iâve learned to embrace spontaneity in things I used to want perfection in. I learned that my spontaneity in other things may be helpful in other things, but that doesnât mean that I do not want to ever make this entry a bit more flowery.
Look, you know what really matters? What matters to me is that I am alive and healthy, I look forward to so many wonderful and exciting things for my future, my family love and support me, I have real friends I could count on, and I am in a place that I never even dreamed of being in. I do not regret the decisions that I made in the past (good and bad) after thinking long and hard and really considering their consequences, or not thinking about them at all, because those decisions brought me to where I am today. I am in a 4-bedroom apartment all to myself fully paid by my school, with dining money provided by my school. I am safe during this trying time, I make a lot of effort in raising my awareness and keeping myself healthy (mentally, physically, and emotionally), and I am true to everything I say and do. I do not regret anything that I have done in the far and recent past, and when I am fifty I will not look back on any day that I will regret because that is who I am, I make each day count, and any shortcomings I have, I always try to find ways to make it better, especially when making things better is what benefits me and what would benefit my loved ones in the future. Iâve done many things alone, without much support, and now that I am receiving a lot of support, I take all these as an advantage to get myself to where I need to be.
Run with the big dogs, love yourself, love your people, love living, and pour your heart over what sets it on fire, dear self. You were born to live life and pursue what you truly desire without limitations, so donât create one.
Cheers to twenty-five and so,
Dorothy

















