bad egg in the coop

Greg: I may be about to spread a pretty zesty rumour where you're mentioned

Greg: Fair warning

Greg: re: isabel valentine

Cam: [ your message did not send ]

[ It took her a hella long second to realise where she was when she woke up, but looking around, she pieced together that she had passed out at Cameron’s while they were studying. Cam sprawled out across from her, was probably her biggest clue. What the hell was that? ]

Cam. Cam! Hey, loser, you’re drooling.

@cam-thebadass

[ He startled awake, blinking away the terrible nightmare. It was better to just lock that shit away and never again think about Christian and Cal’s weird hair, speaking Words to, ugh, Noah, or the weird boner he nearly popped for high femme Greg-slash-Georgie. Nope. Goodbye, whatever the fuck that was. Better to deal with the now, which was currently...? A hot blonde stranger in his home? ... That, he could definitely deal with. ]

Well, hello, beautiful. Am I in heaven, or do angels just regularly walk into strange homes nowadays? How can I help you?

Hey! You, you piece of shit! Yeah, you! [ legit getting right up in his face all snarly-like, but not too snarly cause he’s not a werewolf no more ] You got a death wish kid?

@cam-thebadass

Whoa, ever heard of personal space, dude? [ takes only a single step back. he has no sense of self-preservation ] The fuck you want?

‘Super Beautiful.’ God, are you high? You kinda sound high. At least, nobody I’ve ever met talks like that unless they like taking a drag or two every once in a while. [Looks him up and down] Mhh, or they’ve found religion. Tell me, are you a slut for Jesus?

I- I don’t think so. It’s not something I’ve ever partaken in. Also, kind of illegal. But I mean, you can’t be high without taking drugs, right? There’s no secret accidental means of getting high, is there? [sputters] I-- I am not. That’s--- What is that even supposed to mean?

“It’s more than just low. It’s absolutely…I’m sorry. Have I seen you before?”

“Oh, my bad! I totally goofed on the introduction, huh? You just moved in, right? I’m Cameron Cooper. It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss, ah... What did you say your name was?”

What? No welcome home balloons?

That’s a shame. I only came back from the dead. The least you guys could do is throw me a party or two. Maybe bake a cake? No? Guess I’ll just have to settle for the Sal’s Special. Prayer circle, guys. Wouldn’t want me kickin’ it a second time.

Oh, thank god. Just a little more warning and I would have brought out cake and balloons! But, wow. There’s really no replacing having you back right in my actual arms. C’mere, time for a hug! I missed you!

‘Super beautiful’, dude. Please stop talking. People around here still remember we’re related despite my best efforts so for both our sakes, just stop.

Weird doesn’t even begin to cut it with you, Cam. I keep telling you, you need to go get laid. By a chick, down to the rest… Whatever works, man.

Well, excuse you. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the weather, I’ll have you know. It’s perfectly respectable, even.

Yeah? I mean, I guess so? I never really pay attention to the weather much? It’s nice though? This is a nice day. Maybe beautiful. I like the snow though so… But summer’s great. Maybe one day I’ll be able to put on that one really nice bikini and not feel gross beside Quinn and decide to change before anyone sees me. But yeah. Summer. Woo.

We have to do the best with what we’ve got each day, you know? And today is looking particularly great, so today has to be a great day. It’s like the rules of the universe or something. And--- Well. Summer’s great for just lazing around, too, Izzy. So we can marathon movies in our pajamas all day, and no one can stop us, right?

Dude, we don’t have time to talk about the weather! How are we going to get Georgie Porter to love me? This is way more important than the sun, Cam. Help me! Last time I tried to talk to her I threw up in my mouth!

That’s... Okay. That’s a fair change in conversation, I guess. I don’t know what to tell you, man. She’s a legend. If I knew how mere mortals were supposed to interact with walking gods, I would have told you ages ago. Oh! What if you baked her something? Even Georgie has to like cake, right?

Are you-… Oh, you are talking to me. About the weather. Uh huh… Okay. Yeah? It’s nice. It’s pleasant. And welcomed. Unlike this strained conversation.

Is that... a bad thing? The weather topic, not the talking. Or, uh, maybe the talking is bad too. ... I’m sorry?

I guess so. I mean, it’s not raining at least even though I’d still work this look wet. Doesn’t look like anything special to me Cam, you sure you’ve not just put extra sugar on your Cheerios this morning? Or— [ audibly gasps ] Oh my god. Dude, did you get laid?

Yeah, exactly! The sky looks beautiful. Just like you. Uh, I meant that in a totally casual and friendly way. Not in a- a weird way. Obviously. I mean, you have a mirror. You know. Anyway, I--- Lord, no! Not that that would be a bad thing, I just--- I-- No. I, uh, I did not.

Cameron Cooper. Please, dear god, try just a little harder not to be such a goddamn nerd.

Can you do that for me? Do it for Jesus?

That’s funny coming from you, Satan.

“I swear to God, if I don’t get a decent latte in the next fifteen minutes, I’m going to have to cut a bitch.”

“Low on your daily caffeine intake, huh? I know how that feels.”