self sabotage .
⌦ .｡.:*♡ c. taeyang x f! reader
: ̗̀➛ you love your boyfriend. you swear you do. but, unfortuantely, due to past issues, youre always pushing him away, treating him terribly, and he always comes back, until he decides enough is enough.
: ̗̀➛ warnings: arguing, toxic relationship, reader lowkey an asshole, theos fed up, lots of cursing, hyung line dynamics, crying, not proofread dont kill me pls.
: ̗̀➛ wc: 1.571
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. ༉‧₊˚. ︶︶︶︶
“you need to leave her.”
thats something theos hears all the time.and he cant even blame them.
hes been on and off with you for a year and a half now. you met through a mutual friend, he offered to take you out, one thing led to another, and you started dating.
everything was good for the first three months, and then you started acting weird.
you got on him for being out too late, and when he explained he was at work and they ended up running late, you called him a liar and stopped respinding to his messages for days.
you started accusing him of cheating on you, and when he reassured you that you were the only one, surprise surprise! you ghosted him.
but everytime you texted him at one in the morning; told him you were sorry and you missed him, asked him to come over, despite everything that youve done, he always came back.
and thats what you and theos relationship has been for the past year and a half. fights, ghosted, late night texts, forgive and forget. everytime.
“taeyang, seriously. listen. enough is enough, youve been dealing with her shit for way too long.”
theo snaps out his thoughts, looking up at keeho, jiung sitting right next to him, clearly on his side. he sighs, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his face in his hands.
“its just not that easy. i do really love her. i want whatever we have to work.”
keehos response to that is a heavy, tired sigh, his hand reaching to grab his shoulder.
“and thats your problem. youre trying to fix something that was broken from the start. shes made it clear that she isnt taking you serious and your dumbass keeps going back.”
theo sucks his teeth, pushing keehos hand off of him. jiung rolls his eyes, slapping keehos shoulder before speaking.
“ignore him. we understand you want it to work. but after this long of you being treated like crap, you dont think its time to let it go?”
“exactly! shes literally playing all in your face.” keeho says, just to get another slap to the arm.
“i wish you’d shut up.”
theo lets out another sigh, and closes his eyes. hes clearly upset about the whole situation, but also knows that their right.
before anybody gets a chance to speak again, his phone pings. he reaches over, opening the message and reading it to himself.
“i miss you tae. please come over, we can talk?”
“speak of the devil.” keeho whispers under his breath.
“whatd she say?” jiung asks softly, trying to comfort him a bit.
“she wants to talk. asked me to come over.” he says under his breath.
its silent for another couple seconds before keeho speaks this time.
“so.. youre gonna go. im assuming.”
theo doesnt reply for a second, then nods. “i am. but not for what yall think. im gonna end it. for real this time.”
“seriously?” keeho asked, somewhat shocked. “i mean, it only took us a thousand talks to convince you.”
“shut up.” jiung says, standing up beside theo.
“you go, text when you get there and on the way back. we’ll be up, you can talk to us about it all.”
theo nods, sliding his shoes and jacket on, pulling the hood on over his head.
“i will. see yall in a bit.” theo says with a sigh, sliding his keys off the desk and walking out the room.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. ༉‧₊˚. ︶︶︶︶
theo didnt have any second thoughts the whole drive. he thought about different ways to say it was over, but he knew one thing. whatever this was, it ended tonight.
until, he actually got to your door. then, all the memories came back in. all the good moments. the hand kisses, the soft touches, little whispers in each others ear, all stuff he loved doing with you.
and when you open the door, the same pout on your lips, the same dried tears in your cheeks that he sees everytime you have a night like this, he almsot changes his mind.
but he cant do that. he has to put himself first at some point.
“tae..” you whisper, stepping aside so he can walk in. he steps inside, eyes on you as you close and lock the door.
you step towards him, pulling him towards you for a hug, the tears immediately starting to fall. “im sorry, tae. im really sorry.”
he sighs, his arms wrapping around you on instinct, but its different. he didnt lean in, bury his face in your neck, tell you its okay.
you pull away, wiping your tears and looking up at him. “tae?” you whisper, hands reaching for his face. he stops you before they make it to his cheeks, holding you by the wrists.
“you wanted to talk. lets talk. but.. you have to listen to me. okay? listen to my words.”
you nod, your hands dropping to your sides, eyes wet and looking up at him.
“y/n. you know i love you.” he starts, and you immediately shake your head.
“no. i know where this is going. taeyang, please. dont do this to me.” the tears are coming even faster now, chest shaking with each sob.
“y/n. i cant do this anymore. i really tried. i was here. i always was. you pushed me away. its not going to work if im the only one who wants it too. im done trying.”
“tae! i want us to work. i promise, its not you, i promise. i love you. i have issues, a lot. i really dont mean the stuff i say to you. i dont mean the stuff i do. i swear!”
“no, y/n. its done. i understand you have issues. i wouldve loved you regardless of them. we couldve figured it out together.”
“we still can, tae. please i—”
he cuts you off by pitting his hands on your face, thumbs rubbing at your cheeks softly.
“no, y/n. we cant. its over.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“i love you. okay? please take the time to work on yourself. i know youre a good person. even if you dont show it all the time. theres someone out there for you.”
you dont reply. instead, something shifts inside you as soon as his finger tips leave your face.
“so thats really just it? after everything. youre just done.”
he nods slowly, taking a breath, a finger coming to wipe under his eye.
“wow. youre fucking terrible. i cant belive you would just.. up and leave me out of no where like this.”
theos eyes widen slightly at the sudden switch up, then scoffs. “seriously? after the shit you put me through? and youre surprised im leaving?”
“you knew this was gonna happen! i warned you. i told you i had issues before all of this!”
theo takes a deep breath, calming himself down. “because you said we would work on it. but its been almost two damn years. we havent made any progress.”
“well, if you were here more, maybe i couldve made some progress.” you say, getting closer to him.
he looks down at you, disbelief written all over his face. “youre fucking insane. i was here, y/n. i was alwaya fucking here. you were the one who was never there.” he says, backing away from you.
“i tried. i sat with you. i let you cry in my arms over shit you did to me when i was the one who shouldve been crying. i came back everytime. i fucking tried to make this shit work, and youre telling me its my fault?”
you dont have a response to that. because hes right. you did push him to this point. you did treat him terribly. you did cry to him about things you had no reason to cry over. you pushed him to this point.
but you cant just admit that.
“fine. you wanna be done?” you ask, tilting your head.
“we are done.” he confirms.
“then get the fuck out.”
theo lets out another scoff, then shakes his head. “gladly.”
theo turns around, walking out of your apartment and slamming the door behind him.
you flinch at the sound, then finally let yourself break. you drag yourself to your room, not bothering to lock the door, then collapse on your bed.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. ༉‧₊˚. ︶︶︶︶
“still no text.” keeho says, looking down at his phone.
“relax. im sure hes fine. he’ll be back soon.” jiung assures him, patting his shoulder softly.
as if on queue, the door opens, and theo walks in. the two boys immediately rush to him, stopping a few feet away.
“we’re done.” theo says with a sigh, eyes glued to the floor.
keeho and jiung both sigh, and keeho takes another step forward. “wanna talk about it?”
theo shakes his head immediately.
“hug?” keeho offers again, his arms lifting up.
theo sighs, then walks into him, burying his face in his shoulder, finally letting his tears out.
“dont cry.. itll be okay.” keeho says, rubbing his back softly. “blessing in disguise. you didnt need that stress, taeyang.”
jiung takes a step forward, patting his back. “youll be okay. i promise.”
if he could, hed laugh at that. of course he’ll be okay. he just isnt right now.
but he will be. maybe.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. ༉‧₊˚. ︶︶︶︶
: ̗̀➛ a/n - WE BACK YESS!! idk why i love writing angst w theo sm.. dont ask, just read :(! i hope you enjoyed tho, please look forward to more. i love u guys baii <333
tags - @lilmiyavmiyav @princessthelsa @afanok @momochips @sama6toki @seonghwaswifeuuuu @halaziasupremacy @boptak @jiungbbl @alienslostinworld @kamxstar @stxrxyyz @foreveronez @theosflower @dreamerliya
