officially not so official.

While you all are concerned about some damn list, are we all gonna ignore the fact that it’s pretty much getting colder now instead of warmer. I don’t want it in the 50′s, I want it in the 70′s. It’s bullshit. Thanks, Al Gore.

Use that shit to your advantage, bro. Cold weather means chicks wanna cuddle, which almost always leads to sex. The things I put up with sicken me. That list shit is hilarious, watching everyone panic just gives it away.

I know I normally look forward to work but after all that went down I am really looking forward to it. At least there I will be able to listen to music and draw in peace without having to hear about all this drama left and right. Hopefully at some point this week things will calm down.

What kind of drama are you hearing? All I see is complaining.

Since it seems almost everyone is keeping up-to-date with the list and I wouldn’t mind extra cash to get me through the summer, you’re all welcome to sign up right here. No, but really. Isn’t this getting kind of old? Gossip Girl ended in 2012 and it seriously wasn’t good enough for a low-budget, real-life remake.

How much does this gig pay exactly?

Why are all of you letting this god forbidden list get to any of you? It’s like someone took the time out of their day to break everyone down and for some reason everyone just let’s it happen. Sweet Baby Jesus doesn’t really need someone saying their opinions about everyone all over the internet whenever we’re in high school. Who cares. Anyway. I decided that it was time for me to join all of you on this Tumblr site so I hope I don’t regret it.

About time you join the fun. 

To whoever wrote this stupid list… first of all, did you think it would upset me to state facts that everybody already knows? It’s not exactly like my lack of experience is news to anyone because I don’t keep it a secret. So sorry to point out your failure at embarrassing me. Second of all, I’m just so glad to know that if I accidentally do something once that means I do it “all the time”, thanks for clearing that up, asshole. Third, no one cares about this list anyway, so how about you take a long walk on a short pier and allez vous baiser. 

Sounds like someone is mad. Why you mad if it’s true? Own that shit.

Because have you seen me? I am awesome. Money apparently buys anything though. 

I see a lot of girls. You however, must have slipped my mind. Well, what can it buy me?

Somehow I’m brand new and I’m not at the bottom of the list? I must be doing something right?

Have you been sleeping your way to the top, too?

I forgot that list even existed. I thought the person running it had, I don’t know, gotten a life or made themselves much more useful. But I see that’s virtually impossible for whoever they are.

Anyway, I’m not the first to have parent issues around here and I won’t be the last. But not having a mother in my life hasn’t stopped me. So, whatever. Hope your little quest to be an annoying little shit paid off.

Did you forget? Or were you just irrelevant until now and you gotta act like you did? Let me guess, none of the above, I’m a dick who needs to mind his own business, yada yada. Heard it all.

The best part of having parents that are literally the worst, is that I can vacation anytime I want. So I did. But I return to some sort of list ranking me at 21st? As if, bitch you have no idea who I am or what I can do, clearly.

You can blame your brother for that one.

THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF FUCKING AROUND WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S FAMILIES:

Learn a new hobby

Read a book

Call your state representative to talk about issues that are important to you

Make protest signs, then go to protests for things you care about. Clean water, for example - did you know that Flint, Michigan has been without clean water for 2+ years?

Literally anything else.

It costs $0 to not be an asshole!

If all of these are so important to you why aren’t you off doing them?

I’m not really sure what that list is all about, it’s confusing really. For starters, why am I at the bottom of the list, I should be top ten. I thought we went over this already? and Second of all, why in the world do I need to buy friends? Seems like a waste of money if you ask me.

What makes you think you deserve top ten? Daddies money can’t buy you that.