Forced Down The Wrong Path
I was a little surprised when you came to me.
You're a good looking lad and doing well for yourself in life, in your final year of a physics course at Oxford uni. But as soon as you asked, I understood. You're a shy nerdy type and you feel like you were forced down that road by your parents. Fair enough kid, we can help you out.
The first thing you requested was to be more confident and assertive. A sensible request, considering your meek, trembling voice as you asked it and plain clothing. It almost sounds like this is the first favour you've asked of anyone in a while, too good-natured to want to put anyone out just to help you out.
At this point I made a decision. There are various ways I can transform lads like you, but I have a vision. So here, have this cigarette and this lighter. Each cigarette will change you in a way you desire, so I hope you're ready for some chain smoking.
As you inhale your first cigarette I can see your dumbfounded look as your brain begins thinking in ways it never has done before. You're still as smart as ever, but being academic and having an intelligence and understanding of your own emotions are two very different things, and this is the most introspection you've done in a while. As you smoke the cigarette you lean back a little and rest against the wall. Your clothes also begin to change as you now care more about looking fashionable. You gain memories of getting haircuts more frequently and maintaining your beard, as well as getting an ear piercing. You've gotta let everyone know how cool you feel right?
If you'd like, you could just keep this new confidence and style and not change any more. But you have another request? Ah I see, you always wanted to play sports but you weren't allowed. You always asked to be able to play in a football club, but you were banned from doing so because it would take time away from studying. That's ridiculous mate, we can definitely rewrite your past to replace studying on the weekends with chilling in the park playing some footy. Here, take this cig.
As you smoke you should feel pretty tingly this time. Don't worry it's normal mate. You might feel some of your physics knowledge getting replaced with memory of football scores, players, and tactics, but that's more useful to you nowadays. You're definitely still not dumb by any means and you look pretty well-to-do, but you at least have the charisma and chill to keep up with the lads on your local uni's football team. You're gonna become well kitted out now, looking good.
So how do you feel now? Ahah awesome I'm glad you're enjoying the changes so far, it feels great to know I'm doing a good job. You're really putting yourself into this process. You still look a little confused though, like you're struggling with something. C'mon, you can talk to me.
Oh, so your brain feels a bit torn right now? You have these memories of being a smart young anti-social lad, and they're fighting with these memories of caring about football and holding yourself with confidence. To be fair, we haven't changed your history to actually have you living it up and using your new laddy personality for fun. We can certainly change that if you would like? Yeah? That's what I like to hear.
Here's how this one's gonna work. You need to have a cig here right now, and then you need to hit the pub next to us. I know this would have sounded crazy to you before but you're gonna have to walk up to any of the lads you don't know in that pub and talk to them before sparking your final cig. Interacting with the lads and smoking this cig will cement them as your close mates and you'll remember good times with them throughout your teenage years. Now head on in, I'll follow and watch.
Great choices there man. Those lads are sick as. They're acting happy to see ya too, nice social fellas. As you smoke you should feel lots of memories forming. 15 years old skipping school to drink some tinnies in the park with em, before going back to the shed in your garden to smoke weed before your parents get home. You got a couple GCSEs without trying, you're not stupid, but it wasn't the life for you innit. You just wanted to get out in the world like a man should. You even realise you came here to the pub right from your work to meet your boys like normal.
You look fit in the middle there with your new bruvs. I agree with the ginger though, what kind of pussy drink did you order? Get a lager.
