Beowulf, knowing full and well he's about to fight a child:

if i look back, i am lost

izzy's playlists!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
cherry valley forever
dirt enthusiast
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Stranger Things

Discoholic 🪩

Origami Around

Kaledo Art
Claire Keane

titsay
tumblr dot com
Game of Thrones Daily
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

oozey mess
noise dept.

seen from Singapore

seen from Brazil
seen from Iraq

seen from Malaysia
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia

seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
@callmeconnoir
Beowulf, knowing full and well he's about to fight a child:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
based off @incorrect-skullgirls-quotes ! :)
same energy
me whenever a drawing doesnt go my way: that’s it. i lost all talent. i’m no longer able to make art. i peaked. this is it. this is the end of days
me: mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
mom: finish the one you have sweetie
me: it's empty
mom: *squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Reblog if no matter if you have 50,000 or 50 followers, you appreciate every single one. Reblog if you appreciate the messages you get, whether it's 100 or 1. Reblog if a little smile comes across your face everytime you see a new follower or message. Reblog if even though most of us aren't tumblr famous, we appreciate the little things.
I hit the reblog button so freaking fast-
what is this, a vending machine for ants?
ants need to stay hydrated too
Don’t drink from me or my son ever again.
Ok then

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
story time: presidential edition
so you know how everyone has a story
you know
like the story
like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
and you know exactly what they mean
the story
well
i have a story
and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
barack obama
pre-2008 reebok sneakers
and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life
so here we go
it all began eight years ago
(i was a gangly child then)
and barack obama came to town
(when i was a young girl)
(my father took me out into the city)
(to see the president of the united states, obama)
(barack obama)
except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked
and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s)
(people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)
so i skipped school to see obama
(naturally)
(but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence)
and the adventure begun
but as i soon learned
most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours
because there is no timing with obama
(barack obama)
no one can know when obama is supposed to be there
(barack obama)
there is no, like, obama warning system
(barack)
it’s just that one second he’s not there
and the next second
he’s there
(barack obama)
so it was eight hours
and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me
‘how are your studies,’ he said
how’s school, he probably meant
but i didn’t understand at the time
i was a gangly child
i was scared
he was tall
(i cried)
and then all of a sudden
(about eight hours into the eight hours)
he was there
(barack obama)
he was beauty
he was grace
he was
(barack obama)
he walked into the room
he wasn’t wearing reeboks
(i noticed)
(i began to feel i’d made a mistake)
my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s)
(none of whom were wearing reeboks)
and at the very end
obama began to leave
(barack obama)
i was happy enough to have graced his presence
but my parents
my parents were not happy
they needed more
‘mr. obama,’ they called
and they pointed to me
‘of course,’ obama said
(barack obama)
he’s so nice, i thought
and then it hit me
oh no, i thought
oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably
i’m obama, obama thought, most likely
i was going to meet obama
up close and personal
obama
(barack obama)
the rest was a blur
and the next thing i knew i was there
with obama
(barack obama)
his hand was shaking my hand
his hand was on my hand
(nothing had ever felt so right)
‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked
(with obama’s voice)
(because he was obama)
(barack obama)
and i almost forgot but i told him
and he said it correctly even though it’s weird
(obama said my name)
and we were off to a good start
how was i to know
how was i to know the horrors to come
‘so how old are you,’ he asked then
and that’s when this dream became a nightmare
‘twelve,’ i said
a seemingly innocent answer
but here’s the thing
i was
thirteen.
(thirteen)
(13)
(12+1)
(16-3)
(13.0)
(Thirteen.)
what have i done, i thought
(panic! at the election)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4
i still don’t know why i did it
did i really forget?
did i do it for the thrill of the chase?
to see if i could?
maybe
but obama didn’t know
i did it, i thought, i lied
i lied to the president of the united states
i pulled it off
the greatest lie in history
the greatest heist
(i didn’t know what a heist was)
(i was thirteen)
‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said
shit.
i was so close
shit what do i say, i thought
the journey is not over
the nightmare rages on
what do i say
i open my mouth to say, yes
‘no,’ i say
what the fuck, i think
‘no i’m in 7th grade”
(because i was)
maybe he won’t know, i thought
but he did.
(obama’s been around the block)
(obama knows what’s up)
‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said
(i wasn’t)
(i failed basic math at least twice by this time)
‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over
just wanting the lie to end
for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me
to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies
i waited
i waited for arrest
but arrest didn’t come
and that was even worse.
obama trusted me
obama thought i was a good kid
obama thought i was ahead of my class
(ahead of my class)
i let him down
i let obama down
(barack obama)
i watched him leave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k
obama, i mouthed out after him
obama i’m sorry
(he trusted me)
why did i do it, you ask
i don’t know
after all these years
i still don’t know
it still haunts me
i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think
i lied to the president of the united states
(twice)
the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office
i’m smiling through my pain
i’m wearing reeboks
obama is not
(barack obama)
i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement
we can put this all behind us and start anew
start fresh
(no more lies)
(no more deceit)
but i’m not naive
i know that we can never really go back
back to the way things were
five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied
but i can dream
i can hope
obama
obama i’m sorry
(barack obama)
midoriya, recovering in the hospital: you call it a near death experience, i call it a vibe check from god
aizawa: [smacks him upside the head]
toshinori: [frantically going through google to find out what a ‘vibe check’ is]
reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN
From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:
Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:
1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.
2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.
3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.
4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.
5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.
9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!
10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.
11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.
12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.
please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks
Hope you all stay safe.
memelord sentence starters
“i have depression, karen.”
“step the fuck up, kyle.”
“spoopy”
“is that a marijuana? in my good christian suburbs?”
“wow, what a dad.”
“what are thooose?”
“go back to sleep and starve.”
“[slams oven door rhythmically]”
“i said, whoever threw that, your mom’s a ho.”
“catch me outside”
“wake me up. wake me up insiiiiiide (can’t wake up).”
“mmm whatcha say”
“never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down”
“tfw no gf”
“girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal”
“[looks into the camera like in the office]”
“if your name is ___ and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hands”
“kazooo”
“when will they return from the skeleton war?”
“sorry sweaty :)”
“brother may i have some oats”
“the floor is genuine love and affection”