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Egon Schiele. The green hand 1910

“I’ve recoiled from associations with childhood that a lot of reviewers have made and interviewers have made, but one reason is that they tend towards this version of childhood that is innocent and naîve. I do feel a connection with the part, with childhood, in kind of a kind of deeper sense. And I feel a deep connection with that way of thinking, and also the capacity to look things straight on without any taboo, or without any fear. The capacity to look at death like that. And I would even take it further to say that I feel a connection to the part of childhood that makes us morbidly curious— you know, the way children wanna see, you know, dead things. They wanna see like, the roadkill, the animals that get hit by a car. You know, drive by it and they crane their necks to look.

And the way that, you know, children sometimes sit up in the middle of the night and allow themselves to think about frightening things, even if they know it will frighten them. It is this boundless receptiveness to every aspect of the world. The ability to feel sadness without being blunted, the ability to feel sadness about all the terrible things without having accumulated a thick skin and a callousedness that makes us not be able to feel the full weight of sadness anymore. I feel a connection to those things.

And I do feel a connection to the way of, sort of, free associating, as well. I think that’s all true. I think it starts when we’re born. I think that the world is not conducive to that way of thinking, and I do think probably doing, not just creative writing, but also just playing and writing music for years is almost like, not to be gross, but it’s almost like keeping a wound open. Like, pulling the scab off over and over again. If it’s an open place, if it’s a fissure between like, the world and me, it’s almost like doing these types of work all my life, I feel like it’s keeping that place open.”