Just Call Me Sourwolf

“It’s not that bad.”

“It is that bad.”

“It’s not-”

“Derek, listen to me. It is that bad.”

“It’s not that bad,” a disembodied voice floats to them from the other side of the hastily shut door.

“I don’t think you get to contribute!” Stiles shrills at his dad.

“Stiles, you’re nineteen, this is your apartment and he didn’t knock,” Derek says patiently.

“You’re right. I didn’t knock. Totally my bad,” his father calls.

“I gave him a key. He doesn’t have to knock,” Stiles says.

“Thanks, kiddo!”

“He has to knock if he doesn’t want to see his son giving-”

“Got the visual. Don’t need the commentary!” The Sheriff calls, sounding a little further away from the door, like he’s backing up in horror.

“-his boyfriend a really nice time,” Derek finishes lamely. Stiles puts hands on either side of Derek’s face, squishing his cheeks in delight, embarrassment forgotten.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve used the ‘b’ word. I thought we weren’t allowed to use the ‘b’ word.”

“I’m coming around. Especially since you keep coming up with alternatives.”

“I thought snuggle tooth was a winner,” the Sheriff calls.

Word count: 2236

Rating: R

Summary: The second time Derek and Stiles meet is in a gay bar.

A wizarding gay bar.

Stiles is coming home. 

***** 

About an hour out of Travis Air Force Base, a weird sort of tension grips everyone, like they’ve just been told they’re coming in for a hot landing. Even Stiles, who has spent the last twenty-four hours telling himself not to get too excited, can feel himself responding to the apprehension in the air, his nerves vibrating like the strings of that cheap piece-of-shit guitar that Steiner bought in that market in Kabul because he swore he could play it. (He couldn’t.)

Stiles plays with his phone, flicking between screens with his thumb because he needs to do something, but at the same time he can’t settle on which game to open. He’s so fucking sick of Candy Crush. He is the reigning fucking king of Candy Crush, but if he never plays it again in his life it’ll still be way too soon.

Erica leans over and plucks his earbuds out of his tunic pocket.

“Hey!” Stiles grabs for the trailing cord, but misses.

“I wouldn’t have to steal yours if you hadn’t stood on mine and broken them.”

That’s true, but then again, if she hadn’t left them dangling on the floor of the plane, Stiles wouldn’t have stood on them to begin with when he went to the bathroom.

Read the rest here at AO3. 

derek: … Do you take constructive criticism?

Summary: Stiles is an awkward virgin who’s never even been on a first date, so he ends up hiring a rental boyfriend to help him get some experience. (On AO3)

Notes: Based on this awesome post by @thealphaownsme.

(@derek-and-little-red and @endgame-sterek, I think you were also interested in this?)

“Scott, buddy, I’m having a personal crisis here,” Stiles says irritably.

“It’s summer, there’s no class,” Scott says distractedly, pawing through a box of video games. “What could you possibly be having a crisis about?”

“Well, I’m nineteen, soon to be starting my sophomore year of college, and I’m still a virgin,” Stiles says anxiously. “I’ve never even been in a real relationship. I thought college was supposed to be the time to experiment and have casual sex. I should have banged half the state of California by now!”

Word count: 9316

Rating: PG-13

Summary:

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Underage Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Erica Reyes/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Jackson Whittemore, Erica Reyes, Lydia Martin, Derek Hale, Bobby Finstock, Danny Mahealani Additional Tags: Humor, Kissing Booths, Jealousy Summary:

Stiles would have asked who in their right mind thought a kissing booth was a good idea for a fundraiser, except – oh, right – he’s on a lacrosse team populated entirely by male models.