later

nobody ever praises me or pats me on the head or feeds me small treats despite my consistent excellence in the field of not purposefully ripping cabinet doors off their hinges to fulfill some sort of maladaptive destructive urge

whose dick do i have to suck to suck a dick around here

Monsterfucker makes it sound like I only want them for their body...no...I am a monster romancer. I want to take them out on a date, have some delightful and witty conversation over wine. Dance together under the moonlight to an orchestra of crickets. I want to learn about every little thing that makes them who they are. And then I fuck them.

but monsterfuckers, have you considered that humans are the real monsters

Stop trying to make me fuck humans, it is gross and I won’t.

Comics need to be Jewish and socialist again I’ve had enough

“why don’t you wish you had been born cis lol” well first of all being trans has shaped my lived experience and if I was cis I would be a fundamentally different person and even for all my flaws and failings I am myself and I would not trade that for anything. Second of all being trans makes me exponentially sexier then i could ever be if I was cis.

Getting high is boring now someone tase me

bring back Georgian-era sentence structure. fuck this single clause Hemingway bullshit; I want to string the reader along for pages, to link, however disparate, an endless array of actions using every form of punctuation I can imagine - even those I rarely use - and generally be as incoherent as possible (though it is to be said that this is for internet and casual use, and not for increasing the impenetrability of research papers, a far less noble goal than the one I proposed).