ur go to diane impersonator

I can only perceive people as ephimeral

I look at my friends and I can only see the day I'll stop replying to their texts

I look at my mom and I can only think of the day she'll die

I look at my sister and I can only imagine the days I won't call back

People are always temporary, no matter how much you love them

You could argue that they'll live on

In your favorite jokes or in the movies you rewatch

But that just means that you'll never have those people like you once did

You can't dig a grave to lay on their chest again

And you can't send a voicemail narrating your day to a number that blocked yours

It almost makes you think

Why even bother loving at all?

Why bother hating? or liking? or adoring?

Maybe, if I stop talking to my friends

If I cut ties with my mom

If I never travel to my sister's city

It won't hurt as much

im getting pretty fking tired

I take up more space than the day before

There's more tasks I need to do

And I don't even know how to do them all

The mirror looks different today

Maybe tomorrow it will be okay

Or maybe it will never be okay again

But maybe some of the things I like will stay

He looks at me differently

He seems to look for the little girl I used to be while looking down on me

He's intimidating

I have no clue why he finds me so fascinating

Just for a moment

I'd like to be short again

I'd like to fall off trees

And colour outside of the lines again

But, God, if I don't do it, who will?

I will just stick with it

Until I'm grown enough

her life would be different

birds would sing more often

and flowers would grow just a little more colorful

she would love how sweet her laugh sounds

she'd wanna hear it as often as possible

she'd wanna go on more walks

because she'd know how beautiful her hair looks under the sun

she'd see her eyes shine

when she's talking about her latest musical obsession

so even if she played it over and over

she'd never get sick of it

she'd crave to feel how soft her skin is

she'd be dying to hold her own hand

she'd talk to herself as often as possible

because she'd know that makes her giggle

i guess she'd be in love with herself

she'd take a glimpse in a mirror anywhere

she'd caress her lips, feel her hips

and she'd do it again and again and again

so until then, those tasks are up to me

to enjoy my priviledge

because i can see her so clearly

maybe one day, she won't need me anymore

but i'd still be there

and that beautiful turquoise

watch her dance the way she loves

as she makes soothing noise

i stand on the sand

and let the water reach my toes

it makes me feel much better

reliefs me of my woes

but i never go in too deep

i'm afraid i won't come back out

what if my legs get caught in seaweed

and they'll pull me 'till i drown?

because in the end, she has no owner

she's certainly not mine

but she's so hipnotizingly beautiful