[cG] calcifiedGhost

mutual masturbation is when you jerk off to someone you met on tumblr

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

using my one wish willow to make all cigarettes healthy and yummy for people

rose and kanaya maybe have the worst case of "treated as the hypercompetent background lesbians for everyone else's relationship drama" of all time in fanfics and its such a disgrace bc their relationship is fucking insane. its so good. theyre childhood sweethearts who fall in love with the idea of each other at age 13, and you have rose with her crazy abandonment issues and self destructive/suicidal tendencies and nuclear mommy issues and ever increasing amounts of trauma that she refuses to acknowledge as such because that would mean admitting that she wasnt in control. and then kanaya whos smothering and coercive but also enabling, who's drawn to dangerous girls and loves to mother them. kanaya's a pushover who does little to help rose face her alcoholism beyond just chiding her. and in the post retcon timeline kanaya never even confronts her about it! vriska has to! and they really do love each other too is the thing their relationship is awesome!!! it just has so much more meat and weight to it than ppl seem to think and this is why im honestly so glad that the epilogues "broke them up" (even though the epilogues didnt actually break them up lmfao) because it exposed all the more fraught aspects of their relationship that the fandom doesnt seem to want to acknowledge even tho thats literally what makes them good!!!!

vriska im pregnant and it's bugs

"blowing your load" and "cumming your brains out" are both really good, so you'd think "blowing your brains out" would be fantastic, but,