kill the messenger

“If the bartender hasn’t cut me off then I don’t see why you need to try.”

“I-- I just think-- I don’t know,” Cal gave a little shrug. He wished he could be the kind of guy to stick to his guns, but he felt so overpowered with the little resistance.

“Can’t believe you weren’t observing my make-out. A little weird…” he eyed him before laughing. “Thanks for trying here. Not really doing much for the ego though.”

“Does this me--mean you’re observing mine?” Cal rose a brow. It felt odd to even be having make-outs to ever be observing, though it wasn’t like he was doing that in public. “M--maybe you’ve got to g--get back in line and try again.”

“Please tell me that kiss didn’t look as bad as it felt to me? I’m sure she is a nice girl but I have never felt such an aggressive tongue. I thought I was going to choke in those 10 seconds.”

“H--honestly, I wasn’t watching,” Cal paused for a moment and shrugged with a smile. “B--but if you need support then y--yeah, no... totally wasn’t that bad.”

“Huh. You’re right,” he stopped as he thought about it. Work seemed secondary now as he addressed the problem. “Okay but if there is a set upon agreement when accepting the challenge,” he looked back up at Cal like he had just figured out something major. “Like if you pass you get a free side or dessert, some shit, but you give a sad attempt you get publicly shamed?”

Cal laughed at the idea, but put a thoughtful look on his face, as if actually contemplating. He had a sense of humor, but it was rare for most to see. His anxiety in social situations got in the way of all that. “H--how far are you t--taking the shaming? T--tar and feather--ing might be a--a bridge too f--far.”

Lainey: You already have a list?? That is so cute. I can't really afford a trip.

“If anything that is even better,” he said with a bit too much excitement for what the conversation was. “Even give them a little extra side if they do a wookie call. That is how it is done right.”

“Th--the issue with that is that you h--have to hear everyone’s terr--terrible renditions,” Cal chuckled. He liked Cohen’s excited nature though, it made him feel like less of a burden or something, like even with the little he said it made an impact.

“I haven’t quite settled on it yet but there’s is just wrong,” he looked at the online menu in disgust. Half their workdays he found something to rant about. Most people would get annoyed but Cal just always let Cohen entertain himself. “Tell you what I would make an item Chewbacon Burger. Now that is good.”

Cal just nodded, which he liked being able to do. He didn’t need to say too much, didn’t need to struggle for words, Cohen would fill the space and not take offense. He pondered the name, lips twisting in thought. “People might mis-pronounce it... chewbahhcon. B--but I guess that d--doesn’t matter much.”

“I don’t think you are really understanding how serious an issue this is. You can’t just make a restaurant based on iconic sci-fi franchises and then just throw whatever character name you want at a chicken sandwich without thought. It’s preposterous.”

“Alright wh--what would you have n--named the sandwich?” Cal asked, brows raised as he took a bite. Cohen was one of the very few people he felt comfortable with. Their dynamic worked, honestly, it made the days easier for Cal, which he was thankful for in a way he didn’t know how to vocalize.

Lainey: I desperately need something fun this summer.

Lainey: Preferably something fun that is cheap or have someone sponsor me.

“It would, yes. But I promise to tip very nicely,” she leaned in to kiss him.

“I feel like the money would run dry eventual--” he cut himself off and laughed a bit. “You were never gonna tip with money, were you?”

“Problem is if I stay here with you much longer I just may be tempted to stay forever.”

“Does that mean I would have to deliver all of your food and water to you?”

“N--no, it’s okay, we don’t have to go,” he smiled over at her. “I was just grabbing a water.”

Lainey: You would have known otherwise if you asked but you didn't so we are going with my plans. I can when it isn't the time. Ugh you're like the anti-sexter. Makes things unsexy.

Lainey: I like it too so that is good because honestly it wasn't going to change. I need to be as close as possible.

Cal: Can't we just go with a blend of both of our plans? Wouldn't that be the nice thing to do? Rude. I just told you that I like the things you say!

Lainey: I don't remember you initiating plans tonight? If you wanted to talk so much you could have asked. I can complain! You're very much my thing. And I'm not looking for you to ever say shit as long as you can deal with me saying it.

Lainey: Yeah? You don't mind that I sleep so close to you?

Cal: That's cause I figured you were busy. I always want to talk to you. Not about that! I know that you're not, don't worry. I like the things you say, horndog.

Lainey: So all of the sudden you are going to have so much to say tonight? I am, yes. I'm not expecting you to sext, Cal. I know it's not your thing.

Lainey: That has easily become my favorite way to wake up. Miss it the days I don't.

Cal: Why's it all of the sudden? I always wanted to talk to you. You can't complain about that! You're my thing though.

Lainey: Are you trying to talk your way out of making out and sex with me? Ughhh. Why do you have to be the sweetest man alive while I'm just acting horny?

Lainey: Okay well if you sleep in then that is okay, but I'm not going to complain about getting to start my day with you.

Cal: No, I'm not. I just also have things to say, that's all. Are you complaining about me being sweet? Real answer is probably because I'm uncomfortable talking about that though.

Lainey: Well it can be one of those deals that whatever is leftover can rollover to the next hour. Oh really? I can just seduce you into anything?

Lainey: You don't need to do that. It's your day to sleep in, you should.

Cal: What if I need more on top of that? Can I take out a loan? Well not into anything... but there's a lot I'd do to make you happy, yes.