This line from the Linkin Park song, Waiting for the End, keeps repeating in my head:Ā
āThe hardest part of ending is starting againā
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@caffeineandbytes
This line from the Linkin Park song, Waiting for the End, keeps repeating in my head:Ā
āThe hardest part of ending is starting againā

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Packing up my belongings has been much harder than I anticipated emotionally. As Iāve been going through the things we own, Iāve been hits with memories, both good and bad, about the life we built together. Itās much more than I thought. I thought I had dealt with my feelings, so this has all come as a surprise to me.Ā
Just received my grade for my class today. I ended up with a B! I am done. Finally! No more school for this guy.
Just submitted my last assignment for this Masters (I hope). It was a steaming pile of crap, so Iām really hoping my final pulls my grade up to a C because I might get a 0 on it, haha. I donāt even care anymore. This is my 12th class in a 10 class program, lol. Just give me the C.
On top of the allowance of the transgender military ban being allowed to be reinstated while it works through the courts, when I logged into Tumblr today I got a notice that a bunch of my posts containedĀ āadult content.ā They were all pictures of my chest post top surgery, except for one which was a picture of my hand post CrossFit workout where they had been torn.

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Iām on a new project at work and met most of my team for the first time today, and somehow I mentioned that I was married. And then someone asked about my wife, and I said,Ā āOh, my husband.ā And then we moved on to the rest of the conversation.
Then, everyone got up and went somewhere, and the person who asked about my wife apologized to me for being heteronormative and came out to me as being gay too.
Interesting day!
I just want to feel affection again.
How do people just talk to random people?
I went to an event for work because I need to expand my network to get on a project soon. And after the end of the presentation, everyone was chatting in smaller groups. I left because I just don't know how to break into a group that's already formed. I don't know how to do this, and I'm worried if I don't get on a project soon, I'll be let go.
I canāt remember the last time I felt this alone.
So, I started a new job last week, and I found out that Iām not actually assigned to a project. Now, itās my job to find a project that wants to take me on. Itās kind of stressful and not really what I expected when I accepted this job. Iām hoping it works out, but my mood has been pretty low lately, and Iām not feeling particularly optimistic.
On the other hand, Iām getting back into the gym at the CrossFit place down the street, so thatās a plus. Iām hoping I can keep this up once my class starts. Iām only taking one this semester, so that *should* help.

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I made it to the nearest CrossFit gym this morning! I've been feeling pretty shitty lately, and I think getting back into training will ease some of that depression. I know it won't fix everything, but it will help.
These lyrics hit so close to home lately (no pun intended).
āI found no cure for the loneliness I found no cure for the sickness Nothing here feels like home Crowded streets, but I'm all aloneā
Machine Gun Kelly - Home
Me: Asks for clarification on what is being said in a lecture video because I literally can't understand what words are being said.
Professor: "Huh. I just watched it and it was crystal clear."
Are you freaking kidding me? Of course itās freaking clear to you, youāre the one who said it! So over this class.
At the end of my data science class, all Iāve learned is that data science is, ironically, incredibly antiscientific. Iām realizing that it is a lot like cultural appropriation: some people saw that they could make money using stats, and quickly stripped it of all context and theory to do make it a better tool to do exactly that.
Machine learning isnāt that different.
The class also covered machine learning, the name of the course was just ādata scienceā
But at least there are confidence intervals? Haha. My big takeaway from my Data Science class was that you can do all the statistics you want, but if you canāt communicate that information well to stakeholders (or whoever), then your work is useless.
I about had a breakdown this week. I applied for graduation a couple of weeks ago. I got an email a couple of days ago saying I didnāt meet the requirements. It turns out that I completely overlooked the fact that 2 700-level classes are required for graduation.
This was news to me because I wasnāt even aware this was a requirement. I must have overlooked this requirement hundreds of times. I wanted to just quit right then, drop my classes, and never look back.
At this point, Iām so over taking classes, Iām not going to finish this degree. I already have a Masterās, and I only started this program to get better job prospects. I now have a year of experience and a job offer on the table. Itās not worth it for me to finish the degree for the sake of finishing at the expense of my mental, physical, and emotional health. Iāve been running myself ragged for the past two years, and Iām looking forward to not having to come home from work to then work on school work until I go to sleep (and repeat). Also, itās not worth taking out more student loans just to finish for my situation.

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I just realized that I hit 5 years on T last week. Since I've been barely hanging in there with regards to school and work, these quick selfies will have to do to mark this milestone.
seeing black folks react to āBlack Pantherā makes me want to see every minority experience big budget, mainstream representation. I want to see gay superheroes, Hispanic and Latino superheroes, Asian superheroes, trans superheroes, disabled superheroes, Indigenous superheroes, lesbian superheroes, bi superheroes. I want to see EVERYBODY seeing themselves save the whole ass world
Fucking same