Caffeine & Concealer

I know it’s what I have to do

I know I’m being treated badly

Yet I keep hoping he would change

Do I have to call them family ?

Nothing worse than feeling alone but being with people

They don’t know how smothered and tired I am around them

I wonder if I would be sad if they died

I think I need to be away from them for a year or

A few years at least

Less texts, and even rarer to ever have a call from you.

I don’t chase or beg anymore but deep down I want to cry and scream for you.

But that’s not the person I am anymore. (?)

I don’t know where the line is. I don’t know the difference between chasing something that isn’t there and fighting for something I love. But I know this is not what I want.

I need and deserve more.

I’m no longer the young girl who would cry and beg for a boy to love her.

I know better than to beg someone to stay. So if you go, go.