morally gray

Ruhn didn’t have to ask you to know when you were having a tough time mentally. He knew you better than anyone, better than he knew himself.

It usually started with the poor sleeping habits. You’d sleep for fourteen hours one night, and would be lucky to get two hours the next.

Then, he’d notice your lack of interest in the things you normally love.

He’d notice the way you avoided your reflection in the mirror, because taking the time to look at yourself would force you to confront the bitter truth. And you couldn’t do it.

Ruhn never cornered you about it; never pressured. He wasn’t the type to tell you to look on the bright side, or that things would get better eventually. That was sunshine-y bullshit, as far as he was concerned.

The night you admitted through tears that things were getting bad again, Ruhn wordlessly pulled you into a hug. He was warm. He was safe.

Ruhn murmured words of comfort into your hair, gently rubbing along your back. When your tears lessened, he ran you a bath, silently helping you out of your clothes.

He knelt next to the bath, and began washing your hair, your skin.

He left you alone in the bathroom for a bit, only to clean your dishes, and throw your laundry into the washer. He knew that your depression would make these ordinary, mundane tasks seem insurmountable to complete.

When Ruhn returned, he toweled you dry, and helped you dress. He carefully brushed your hair, kissing away any tears that dare fall down your beautiful face.

He guided you to bed, but not before making sure you had a glass of water.

He wrapped his arms around you, reminding you how important you are, how he will never leave you; how privileged he was to be able to love you.

As you were on the precipice of sleep, Ruhn’s lips brushed your hairline, and he whispered an “I love you.”

Lucien’s hands are on her shoulders as he looks down at her, nothing but sincerity on his face. “Are you sure, Elain?” He watches her reaction. “I don’t want this to be a spur of the moment decision. I want you to really want it.”

“I want you, Lucien!” Elain answers with a tinge of impatience in her voice. “And I want this. More than anything else!” 

She grins, wiggling her feet a little, bouncing up and down. Lucien chuckles and kisses her brow. “Do you not want it? Do you not want me?”

“God, Elain, you have no idea how much I want you.” His lips stay on her forehead as he guides her body closer to his. “I want you so much that I can’t think straight anymore. I want you so much that my whole body aches for you. I want to taste every small part of your body, devour you with my lips and my tongue. And then I want to make love to you. All throughout the night. I want to feel you come around me, with nothing but my name on your lips.” 

Lucien's lips curl against her skin when he feels her shudder, her skin radiating heat. Lucien moves his hand over Elain’s, tugs at her wrist and pulls her hand to himself. He presses her palm flush to his groin, to the hard length trapped behind his breeches. “That’s how much I want you, Elain,” he rasps. 

Elain sucks in a sharp breath of air, her mind clouding with desire and her vision turning a little blurry. “Did I cause you this reaction?”

“You did.” Lucien smiles, softly removing her hand from him. 

He can’t let her touch him any longer or he would come right then and there. Her pleasure is his priority and especially since this is her first time, this night is all about her. He softly guides her backwards to the bed, careful not to make her stumble. Slowly, they both sit down, their bodies settling into a comfortable intimacy. Lucien reaches out, his hand finding hers, their fingers intertwining in a tender hold. 

"We proceed at your pace," Lucien murmurs softly, his voice laced with gentle assurance. "If at any moment you wish to stop, we will stop.”

"Alright," Elain replies, her smile radiant and filled with trust. The flickering glow of an oil lamp dances behind her, casting a beautiful glow to her skin. The gentle light caresses her features and Lucien once again finds himself in utter admiration of his wife.

“I hope you know that I am not only attracted to your beauty, Elain.” Lucien leans in and kisses her. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, but it is not only the mask that attracts me it is what lies beneath — your beautiful soul.” 

Elain almost has tears bubbling up in her eyes at this compliment and she kisses him again, lips melting against his in a searing kiss. The kiss deepens, their hearts beating in harmony as desire and passion rises between them. Lucien nuzzles his nose against hers and a little giggle escapes Elain. “Let me undress you, my beautiful wife. I want to see you, all of you.” Elain nods a little, biting down on her lower lip. She is nervous, of course, this is her first time. But Lucien is with her. It is her first time, but with Lucien and she knows there is nothing she needs to be nervous about. Lucien Vanserra is a generous lover. 

“Come here,” Lucien orders in a soft voice, filled with admiration as she helps her get up and positions her right in front of him with him still sitting on the bed. 

Lucien is a tall man, Elain quite short woman, she is only a little taller when standing while he is sitting. She gazes down at him with a playful grin. Within her chest, the kernel of nervousness has taken root, but it is small in comparison to her growing excitement. Elain is is anticipating what is about to come.

The warm radiance of the oil lamps cast a gentle, golden light across the walls and creates a perfect, warm atmosphere. Elain hums as Lucien’s hand move to her hips and he eases her a step closer — his palms are warm even through the fabric of her dress and the slip underneath. 

Looking up at her, her husband's eyes shimmer with a beautiful glow. His grin is radiant and Elain thinks that he can compete with the sun, by how much he brightens the room when grinning. 

Lucien’s hand slowly slides up the side of her body, until he reaches her shoulder where he gently pulls the first strap down her shoulder. 

“Yes?” he asks, not once breaking eye-contact with his wife. 

Elain nods, happily, “Yes!” His patience and the way in which he looks at her, ease some of the nervousness. She has never been naked in front of…anyone. She has never given her body to anyone. But this is all about to change now and it makes her feel both very nervous, but also incredibly excited. Lucien is a good man, he is her husband, and he will make her feel good. She knows that. He is a generous lover. 

Tugging on the laces on the front, the bodice loosens and Lucien can also pull down the second strap. The dress slides down her body with ease, no longer holding in any place, which leaves Elain in nothing but the thin satin slip she is wearing underneath. 

The room is not cold, but the anticipation and rising desire makes her nipples hard and visible through the thin fabric. The sort of sensation Lucien’s gaze leaves in every place it touches is something wholly new — so sensual. Elain shudders a little as goosebumps break out on her skin and her thighs squeeze together, fully on their own accord. 

“You are so beautiful,” Lucien mumbles when he eyes her, the white of the slip perfectly accentuating her beautiful skin tone, and leaving absolutely nothing to imagination. “Please, open you hair for me.” 

Elain does not have to be told twice, she lifts her arms and removes the pins which she used to secure your hair and keep them up and out of her face. She places each one of the pins on the bedside table until her hair falls in loose waves over her back and shoulders. 

“Breathtaking…” Lucien’s lips are parted and he leans in, brushing them against her lower belly as his index fingers curls around the thin strap of her slip. “Are you sure, my lady?”

“I am! I fully am. I am yours, your wife, and I want this. I want you,” Elain eagerly expresses, both her hands cradling Lucien’s face. She leans down, kisses him deeply until she has to grin against his lips. “Please, I really want this. I really want you! Please.” “Elain.” Lucien exhales against her lips. “You never have to beg with me.” And with that he pulls, the slip sliding down on side of her body, until also the second strap descends and the piece of clothing pools at her hips, leaving her upper body fully exposed, her skin tingling a little with the sudden cold. 

Lucien’s gaze is not uncomfortable; it is heated and makes Elain feel confident, her skin prickling as he drinks her in. Lucien’s arm snakes around her middle, bringing her closer until his lips are on her cleavage and he kisses her softly. “Your skin tastes just as sweet as your mouth,” he hums against the valley of her breasts, his tongue poking out a little so he can fully devour her. Lucien kisses the side of her breast, slowly moving to the pebbled hardness until his lips wrap around it and he flicks his tongue against it. 

Elain’s back arches, as a low moan splits her lips. Her eyes fall shut, her head feeling dizzy with a sort of sensation she has never felt before. He suckles on her breast when his other slides up the back of her thigh, tentatively caressing her skin, to hold her in place. Her knees have threatened to buckle. His index finger nearly brushes her centre when his lips move on to her second breast and he gives it the same attention the other one got. 

Lucien takes his time, exploring and savouring her sweet body. He wants to bring her the most pleasure possible and inches his hand up just the tiniest bit. A low rumble leaves his throat, purely male pride radiating from his body. “So wet for me already.”

Elain does not fully understand, but she gathers he is talking about the slickness gathering between her thighs, and apparently this is a good sign. She smiles when she feels him lean his chin against her cleavage, his light stubble tingling her skin. She knows he is looking up at her and slowly her eyes open as well. 

Through her heavy-lidded gaze she meets his eyes. “I hope you know that I want to worship every inch of your body, my beautiful flower.” 

Elain grins at the nickname, but suddenly has ten million thoughts rushing through her mind. “Are talking about kisses?”

Lucien tips his chin, before resting it against her skin again. “I am talking about kisses, my lady. I am talking about kissing every part of your delicate body. About tasting every inch of your skin.” He leans back and grabs her hips and without any conversation passing between the two of them, Elain slides onto his lap, her knees on either side of his hips. 

Elain’s fingers softly brush over his shoulders as Lucien’s starts to open the buttons of his shirt. He slips out of his shirt, and Elain marvels at the sight presented to her — Lucien is nothing but sculpted muscles with soft and hard edges, and the fine dusting of red hair on his solid pecs. 

Her fingers dance over his skin a little, gently exploring until Lucien’s curls his finger around her wrist and pulls her in a little. Their mouths meet in a passionate kiss. 

Lucien holds her gently, his hands finding their place on the curve of her waist, fingers pressing into the small of her back, into her soft skin. Their breaths intertwine, as soft sighs leave both of them. Time seems to stand still as their mouths meet, in a fusion of warmth and passion. The kiss deepens and ignites a fire of lust and longing, and the prospect of a hunger finally being stilled. 

“Tell me if you change your mind. Tell me when you want me to stop,” Lucien breathes in a hushed voice. 

“Never!” Elain answers and kisses him again, her hips rocking against his front a little bit. 

In one gentle but swift movement, Lucien flips them over so that Elain is underneath him, her back hitting the soft mattress. “Tell me how you feel.” She doesn’t really know — she is feeling too much, too many sensations and emotions. She is feeling good, but good is not the right answer. She feels better than good. 

“I feel alive.” Elain sighs. “And this, what you are doing to my body…it feels wonderful.” 

She smiles a little sheepishly, but Lucien beams in answer and every fiber of his being radiates with visible happiness. 

Lucien helps Elain move back on the bed, until her head rests on the pillows. 

He kisses down her chest, circling her navel with his tongue until he reaches the soft curls beneath and kisses her gently. A strangled sound leaves Elain as she feels something in her lower belly tighten, and more dampness pool between in her core. 

Lucien grabs her thighs, positioning them so that Elain’s hips fall open, her feet are braced on the bed and she is fully exposed to him. He looks at her, at her most private parts, smiling smugly. “I have no doubt your cunt tastes as sweet as your skin and mouth do.” 

His vulgar wording should shock her, but instead it turns her molten, desire clouding her vision. Lucien’s nose is the first thing that touches her sensitive skin and makes Elain hold her breath, her whole body going rigid when a moment later, he kisses her centre. “Relax, my lady,” Lucien whispers, his breath tingling her damp skin. “I want you to enjoy this.”

Her legs tremble a little, as Elain tries to calm down and relax, wanting to enjoy this moment just as much as her husband wants her to. 

Lucien leans in and kisses her sex again, eventually poking out his tongue to get his first taste of her. The strong tendons of his throat stand out when he clenches his jaw, his pupils dilating even more and he drags his tongue through her folds in a broad stoke, groaning deeply at the first taste of her. 

“So perfect," he breathes, and Elain's back arches, her butt lifts of the bed and Elain presses her hips against her husband's face. Lucien feasts like a starved man, his tongue driving deep into her. He licks and suckles, tasting every inch of her core. Elain has never heard such sinful sounds before, so slick and wet, and when Lucien moans, God! It feels like her end is near. She is wreathing underneath him, biting down on her lip to keep her own sounds in.

But Lucien has none of that. He gives her rear a gentle squeeze. “Let me hear you, don’t hold back,” he orders. His lips wrap around the tight bud at the apex of her thighs, suckling, which elicits the most beautiful, female sounds from his wife. She rubs against his face and Lucien takes it all, savouring every drop of her until she comes with a scream that hollows through the whole room. Elain feels delirious, drunk from the still lasting sensation as shockwaves of pleasure ripple through her. 

Her limbs spasms a little when Lucien kisses up her body, but then lifts himself of the bed. He pulls down his breeches in one quick move, his rigid length springing free. Elain has never seen a real man’s…private parts and has also not really thought something could be beautiful about it. At least the ones she has seen on the statues all around the cities were very little impressive. But Lucien….Her eyes widen, her lips parting as she drinks him in. He is bigger —a lot bigger— as the ones she has seen on the statues and he is thick and…God! She has been staring! 

“I hope you like what you see,” Lucien drawls and climbs back onto the bed, nestling between her thighs, his tip placed against her entrance. Lucien grabs himself, waiting for Elain's consent once again. 

She is still looking at him and finally parts her lips. “You are so beautiful,” she hums and beams at her husband, her hands reaching forward so her palms can touch his hands. Lucien smiles, a beautiful rosy glow on his cheeks as he dips his chin, looking to where the head of his cock slowly disappears into her. “You really want this?” Elain lifts her hips, making him slide further into. The sudden and somehow unexpected stretch makes a moan rip itself from her throat. “No more questions. I do!” 

Lucien lowers his chin, grinning and giving his head a little shake. "My wife," he chuckles and licks over his lower lip. Holding her hips, he slowly eases into her, carefully and gentle. 

Elain cries out a little when she feels him stretch her out, the feeling so unknown and then burning feeling, even though he tries to be gentle and slow, quite a lot. 

Lucien stops, stills completely on top of her and only moves further into her when his wife gives him the go. The burning has lessened a little and she wants him to continue, angling her hips a little to make it more comfortable. 

Lucien, as careful as possible, moves into the hilt, letting her adjust to his size and only when her body fully relaxes, does he start moving. He softly rocks against her, each thrust long, deep and coordinated. Elain’s head lolls back, eyes closing as she cries out in pleasure. “God!”

Lucien clicks his tongue and catches her earlobe between his lips. “Your God won’t be of much help. I am the only man you will be praying to in this bedroom, my lady.”

He takes her gently, softly rocking against her and pushing her into the mattress which makes the bed groan underneath them. 

It doesn’t take Elain long to feel her climax nearing. She clenches around her husband’s thick length and feels him pulse inside of her, twitching a little simultaneously to a low groan leaving Lucien. 

Elain doesn’t really know what is about to happen, but when Lucien whispers to her that she should let got and it is what Elain does. She devolves into pleasure as a fire of satisfaction starts to glow vividly in her abdomen. She cries out as she feels her body become weightless. Lucien keeps his thrusts shallow, letting her ride the high out, as his lips softly and sloppy kiss hers. And as he does so, he whispers sweet nothing against her lips, puncturing each of his love declarations with a kiss to her lips. 

Lucien pulls out before he comes, grabs himself and reaches over to where his shirt is still on the bed. He spills his hot seed into his shirt to not impregnate her right in their first night together and also to not spill himself all over her. 

“Holy Mother in heaven, Elain!” Lucien groans, tossing the shirt away. He lets himself fall onto her body, pampering her skin, that is covered in a thin film of sweat, with soft kisses. 

“Your body is a masterpiece full of wonders. I will never grow tired of exploring and worshipping you.”

As they lie on the bed, intertwined, their bodies nestled against one another, their breaths synchronise in a beautiful rhythm. They have just shared a moment of pure vulnerability, their hearts and souls laid bare for the other, and have fully given themselves to the other. With every beat of their hearts, their love starts to grow stronger and more vividly, and a grin is plastered on both their faces. 

Only after a long time, does Lucien carry his wife to the bath, for Elain to do her business and then both of them bath with the now cold water. They return to their chamber, embracing each other tightly after climbing under the sheets. The oil lamps are out now, their hearts rhythmically beating in their chest as they softly caress each other. 

“It always made sense, but now more than ever I understand why Jurian paints you.” Lucien brings his wife’s head closer and kisses the crown of it. “Your beauty must be manifested for the future.”

Elain giggles into his chest and then releases a huff. “Oh, Lucien. You are so cheesy.”

“I am honest, my lady.” He grins into the dark of the room. 

“Well, should he then paint me like this? In nothing but the skin I was born with?” A mischievous chuckle leaves her, but Lucien does not find this funny at all. He groans a little as he wraps her leg over his waist. “This, my dear wife, you in all your naked glory, is only reserved for me. I am the only man who gets to see you like this. I am the only one who gets to devour you like this. I hope this is clear.”

“Clear as water, my dear husband.” With a grin on her face and her cheek pressed against his warm and solid chest, she drifts off into a peaceful slumber.