i hate holiday music so much "giddyup jinglehorse pick up your feet" has the mouthfeel of somethign my homophobic high school coach would yell at me on track day

being mentally ill is so fucking boring. ive been bored since i was 11. perpetually

which sounds sooo whatever but living it is like. whole years just disappear. and tbh i didn’t realise genuine excitement was a feeling adults had. like when you were a kid and you were really looking forward to something. didn’t know that was still a thing for some people

if you're washed chopped and cooked then you might be vegetables

A long distance friend is a kind of dead wife

While I think Channing Tatum is a fine actor, I still believe he's always been a huge miscast for Gambit and Marvel’s casting directors should REALLY reconsider.

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

Men are just so much easier to be around than women. Because women can run faster and have unique mele weapons. Plus they have higher health too. Early on you'll only encounter the blondes, but later you'll start coming accross brunettes (which are even more dangerous because they're often accompanied by paranormal enemies called the Despoiled). Use your Veil Power Mire if you have trouble hitting them.

bro come get your itinerant soldiers they are razing my hamlets

They killed my chivalric caste. I'll get em but I'll have to hire more mercenaries.

what happened to the last legion of mercenaries you hired

Are you in a good headspace to receive some bleached skulls