Ponder My Desert

batman developing an anti-beatboxing bomb collar to finally stop the joker once and for all

My favorite thing about fandoms is that there is always an mlp fan somewhere that can and will turn everyone into a pony, doesnt matter what genre the thing is or if its not super popular, it will be pony-fied

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

Over my amazing digital carcass

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

Resteraunt servers have the funniest and most surreal workplace stories of any profession. They have the job that mean nurses think they have. The entire world is working against them the entire shift. And then you feel terrible for laughing. It’s not funny that you tripped and spilled an entire ice tea all over a toddler and the kid started screaming at the top of his lungs. Nobody was having a good day, thank God it wasn’t a hot coffee. That’s not funny. I did laugh so hard tears started rolling down my face when you recounted this mortifying ordeal though.

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

Speaking of medieval history, it's fun how the popular accounts are all "the peasantry disliked nobles, but typically loved the King and attributed any harmful decisions to bad advisors", and then the rare examples of surviving testimony from actual peasants are like "I hope the King literally explodes".

Jinkies

Jeepers!

Zoinks!

Ruh roh!

FUCK

My favorite part of this post is that it implies Fred is the one saying “FUCK” because we know who typically says the other 4 things

which makes sense as he’s the one who actually legally owns it

Don’t worry I’m vaccinated and neutered

And those nice ladies at the front desk will put me in a funny cardboard box if you don’t have a carrier to take me home in

can we make contact with aliens already im losin hope here