Life is spiky sometimes

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

i support women's wrongs

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

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not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

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i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

im bad to argue with because i have jesters blood if you misintepret me i'll just go along with it. when i was a teenager i was trying to explain the concept of the heterosexual default to someone and they were like "so you think everyone should become bisexual?" and i was like. what the hell sure. lets have legally enforced bisexuality. i'll die on a hill for the bit dont fuck with me.

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no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

History is not done with us yet my friend

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

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i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

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why is “get ___ed idiot” one of the funniest sentences in the english language

get verbed idiot, the sequel to “ok nounboy”

get verbed nounboy

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I care very much