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Anon who sent the ask about the twin au here! I absolutely love it and i’m happy to have found it while i was looking through tags. Also love the idea of ian being oblivious to anthony’s obvious pining and daniel’s obvious flirting
Ian/Anthony - ianthony - Identical Twin AU
--
“Get out of my way,” Anthony says, elbowing his twin brother to try and get some space along the fence line.
Daniel rolls his eyes and elbows him back.
“Fuck off, I want to be up front too.”
It’s sort of pathetic, the two of them squabbling over a position along the sidelines of the early morning track meet at their high school. Normally, Anthony wouldn’t even be awake right now, but Ian had a track meet, and Anthony had already planned on going, but then Daniel said he was going to go, so Anthony absolutely had to make sure he attended.
No way he could let Daniel go to Ian’s track meet without him.
No way could he give Daniel that kind of opportunity for alone time with Ian.
So, now the Padilla twins were elbowing each other at the fence line at the Del Campo track and field event, trying to angle to get a better position to be able to see Ian when he does his part of the event.
The meet hasn’t started yet and the Del Campo team comes out onto the field. Anthony sees Ian and smiles brightly, calling Ian’s name and waving at him. Ian smiles, looking cute in the dorkiest way in his sweatband, his cross-country outfit. He waves right back.
“Ha,” Anthony mumbles.
“Shut it,” Daniel hisses.
Then, Ian is jogging towards the fence, towards them.
“Hey, Anthony! Hey Daniel!” Ian says, “I’m glad you guys came.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss your big meet,” Daniel says, “you’re going to kill it today.”
Ian flushes just a little.
Anthony’s stomach burns with jealousy.
Of course, of all the people in their high school it just so happens that both Anthony and his twin brother Daniel develop a crush on the same boy. The two of them are both lovesick over Ian, the other boy being the cause of much jealousy and competition between the two brothers. Ian also just happens to be oblivious enough to not know or see that the twin brothers are crushing on him.
“You’ll have to come and show me your medal after you win it, Ian,” Anthony says, smiling at his best friend, turned crush.
That’s the thing that really kills Anthony. Ian is his best friend. The only reason Daniel even developed a crush on Ian is because it was Anthony that brought him around. But now, they were both crushing on the boy, and fighting amongst each other to no avail, in a competition to gain Ian’s attention, to earn his smiles, make him laugh, to spend as much time with him as possible.
“Of course, I will…if I win one that is.”
“You will,” Anthony says, “you’re fast as hell.”
“Super-fast,” Daniel adds.
Ian grins, “Thanks for the support, guys. I wish I believed in myself as much as you guys believed in me.”
Then, Ian’s coach calls him to the starting line and he’s waving at them.
“See you guys after the race!” he calls as he goes to the starting line.
Anthony glances at his brother, the same lovesick expression across his face, one that tells Anthony exactly how he looks when he looks at Ian too.
“Okay,” Anthony says, “what if we call a truce for today? We don’t want to weird him out if he comes over after the meet,” Anthony says.
Daniel rolls his eyes, he’s stubborn, but to Anthony’s surprise, he agrees.
“Fine, but we have to do something more than play video games or some nerd crap like that.”
“It’s what Ian likes, Daniel,” Anthony reminds him.
“It’s what he likes with you. With me, he broadens his interests.”
Anthony scoffs, and he thinks, maybe this whole truce thing might be a little harder than he thought.
Hello! I love your twin au! I was wondering if I could get some Daniel/Ian with some pining Anthony/one sided Ianthony on the side? The ending is all up to you!
Ian/Daniel + (one sided Ian/Anthony) - Twins
--
Anthony wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. Anyone on Earth would be weirded out by the fact that their identical twin brother was suddenly dating their best friend. The best friend Anthony has had for years and grew up alongside Anthony and his identical twin Daniel. The best friend that previously spent all his time with Anthony and now spent the majority of the time with Daniel, leaving Anthony feeling like a footnote in his own life. Ian was his best friend. He wasn’t jealous. He was bothered. He missed his best friend. But he wasn’t jealous.
Anthony wakes up late one Saturday afternoon and pads sleepily out into the living room, intent on heading into the kitchen and making himself a bowl of cereal. Instead, he finds Ian and Daniel sitting together on the couch, Daniel’s hand open along Ian’s jaw, the two of them kissing like the world was about to end.
“Come on!” Anthony says, his voice raised, “I just got up.”
The two of them jerk apart, and Ian blinks wide blue eyes at Anthony. His eyes look darker, hazier, and something about them makes Anthony want to shiver. He’s got a flush over his cheeks, pink and stupid.
Daniel turns to look at Anthony, an eyebrow raised and his lips red and shiny.
“Good morning to you too,” he says coolly.
“Can you two please stop acting like animals for, like, two seconds?” Anthony asks, “I lost my damn appetite now.”
Ian clears his throat, “I, uh, actually did come over to hang out with you. You were sleeping so- “
“So, you decided to make out with Daniel in the meantime,” Anthony says, a little bitterly. He crosses his arms across his chest. He’s being childish, he knows, but he can’t stop. What the hell did Ian see in Daniel anyway? Daniel was pretentious. He liked to read, acted like he was too good to watch Pokémon with Ian and Anthony or play Halo or Call of Duty like they used to. He listened to weird music; he wasn’t funny at all. Anthony couldn’t see why Ian liked him as a friend, let alone anything more than that.
When Anthony had first started noticing Daniel flirting with Ian, he hadn’t been worried. Ian was as straight as they come, plus, Ian would never date someone who looked exactly like his best friend. Surely, it would be too weird for him to kiss someone that looked identical to Anthony.
Apparently, he was wrong.
“Stop being a jealous bitch,” Daniel says, rolling his eyes. “Ian really did come to see you. Is it my fault if I capitalize on how lazy you are?”
Daniel furthers his point by linking his and Ian’s hands together, intertwining their fingers.
Anthony sighs, “Whatever. I’ll be in my room.”
He’s aware he’s acting petty, but Anthony can’t help but slam the door shut behind him. Thank God he and Daniel had separate bedrooms. Anthony needed space away from his twin. People always asked him if he and Daniel were best friends, or they assumed that it would be that way, but most of the time Anthony was desperate for space from his twin brother. They used to be close when they were younger. Anthony, painfully shy, and Daniel, more outgoing, it was easy to follow Daniel’s lead and feel confident that someone always had Anthony’s back.
Somewhere around middle school, their dynamic began to change. Daniel started liking new stuff, started making a lot of friends. He asked their mom if she could request that their middle school put them in separate sixth grade classes because Daniel ‘wanted a chance to grow outside of always being with Anthony’. At first, Anthony was hurt, but it was for the best in the long run because being in that other sixth grade class meant that Anthony got to meet Ian, his best friend.
Except now Daniel was trying to take him too.
There’s a knock on the door and Anthony huffs.
One second, two, then a quiet, “Anthony?”
“Yeah, you can come in, Ian.”
The door opens and Ian is there, looking sheepishly at the carpeted floor of Anthony’s bedroom. Ian shuts the door behind him which thank God means that he and Daniel have stopped sucking face long enough for Ian to come talk to him.
“Look,” Ian says, “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like seeing me with him and-“
“I don’t care what you do,” Anthony says, turning away from Ian and to his computer. He turns on the monitor, intent on fucking around the Smosh website and ignoring Ian.
Ian sighs from behind him and Anthony hears him pad over to the bed.
“You sure? You really looked like you cared out there.”
Anthony rolls his eyes and spins in his chair, so he is facing Ian.
“Fine, I do care. It’s weird, Ian! It’s weird because he looks just like me! He’s, my brother! He’s a guy! You barely ever want to hang out with me anymore, you would rather spend all your time with my dumb ass brother and you’re my best friend, and I met you first! I’m the whole reason Daniel even knows who you are!”
Anthony spills his guts, all the thoughts he has been keeping pent up, he lets them go on Ian.
Ian blinks, his mouth frowns. Ian shrugs, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Why do you even like him?”
Ian’s eyes show traces of hurt and Anthony ignores that, ignores how it hurts him in exchange.
“I don’t know! He’s smart, and he’s cool, he knows all this shit I’ve never heard of. He makes me laugh...he makes me happy…” Ian says weakly.
Anthony feels like he’s going to throw up, but he can’t (or won’t) pinpoint exactly why.
“Of all the guys to go homo for, you pick my brother…”
Ian is quiet, he smooths out Anthony’s bedspread under him with his palms.
“I’m sorry,” Ian says, and he sounds like he means it.
Guilt pangs through Anthony. God damn, Ian. God damn him and his stupid blue eyes, and his idiotic sad face, and the way that Daniel makes him fucking happy.
Anthony sighs, “I just…guess I’ll have to get used to it or…whatever…” he says weakly.
Ian eyes him like he’s not quite sure how to take that.
“Can you make, like, more of an effort to still hang out with me too or whatever?” Anthony asks, his face flushing at how he’s asking for more time with Ian, scared that it’s the one thing Ian won’t be able to give him.
Ian though, he smiles, and he nods.
“Yeah, man. I have to go and do my daily conditioning run, but I wanted to know if you wanted to walk to the park later and hang out? Fuck around, you know?”
“Just you and me?” Anthony asks hesitantly.
“Yeah, dude,” Ian says with his crooked little smile.
Anthony nods, “Sounds good. Have fun at your run or whatever, don’t get hit by a car.”
Ian laughs, he stands and nods at Anthony, “See you in a bit, dude.”
Anthony nods back, watching Ian go. “See you.”
He ignores how he knows that Ian is going to say goodbye to Daniel before he leaves, that he’ll probably lean up and kiss him, that Daniel will wrap his hands that look just like Anthony’s, around Ian’s waist and kiss him like he needs Ian to breathe.
Maybe he and Daniel really are the same.
Then, Ian is gone, and Daniel is in Anthony’s doorway.
“Get lost,” Anthony mumbles.
“Hey, don’t get pissy at me because you’re jealous.”
Anthony flushes. “I’m not jealous. I’ve had a girlfriend before you did, and my first kiss.”
Daniel rolls his eyes, the same dark brown as Anthony’s. He hates it. It’s like looking in the mirror and hating his reflection.
“I’m talking about you being jealous because it is Ian.”
Anthony feels his cheeks go pink.
“I just don’t like seeing you make out with my best friend.”
Daniel leans against the doorframe. They are nearly identical, but Daniel has hit a minor growth spurt and he’s gained about one inch in height over Anthony. Anthony hates that too.
“And is that because you wish it was you, he was making out with?”
Anthony flushes and crinkles his nose, “Stop,” he says flatly. He doesn’t even want Daniel to broach this topic, “get the hell out of my room.”
“I’m serious. Don’t be fucking jealous because you didn’t have the balls to make a move like I did,” Daniel says, his voice firm, hurtful in the way that only a sibling can be.
Anthony remembers reading something, some stupid thing online that talked about how a sibling knows you better than anyone and because of that, they can hurt you more than anyone else on this planet. He feels that in this moment. He can practically feel the knife leave Daniel’s hand and enter Anthony’s back.
“Shut the fuck up,” Anthony says, louder, standing from his chair.
Daniel watches him with dark eyes, a firm line across his mouth.
“I like Ian, a lot. He likes me. I’m not going to stop seeing him because you fucked up and missed your chance.”
“Get the fuck out, I said!” Anthony shouts at his twin.
Daniel, he relents. He takes a step back, far enough for Anthony to be able to slam the door in his face. He knows the conversation is only over for now. He knows he can’t avoid Daniel when they share a house, a school, when they both have an unhealthy attachment to the same dumb ass, blue-eyed, brown-haired boy.
Anthony goes to his bed and flops down on to the mattress, ignoring the pain in his heart and the hunger in his stomach. He presses his face into his bed, and distantly, like an echo, he can still smell Ian there.
Random ask, but correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t there two old LWS videos of ian showcasing, for a lack of a better word, his deep throating skill? Lol like one is the bbq with the kebab but I forgot which episode is the other one. It was a vegetable i think lol sorry just having a hard time finding that vid
Yep you're right there's a video of that LMAO mostly in smosh is bored and Ian is bored yeah. Ian showed a lot of his deep throating skills to Anthony before but asparagus and kebab are the most non forgetable ones for sure ldkgkskgkskfı here's a little edit I made with them:
Ian day prompt if you're still accepting prompts? hehe just really want an ianthony meet cute since we don't have enough of those lol maybe ian out in public? a party? cafe or somewhere and then it's a play on this canon fact of ian not really knowing someone is flirting with him. so maybe he catches anthony's attention and every time anthony locks eyes with him he looks away and then when anthony finally tries to talk and flirt with him, Ian is completely oblivious to all his advancements and anthony thinks he's just absolutely adorable (another canon fact lol)
i have had a seriously hard time writing lately, but this is my best shot! i'm hoping to get all my other prompts completed between tonight and tomorrow, but i've been struggling with writing so much. if you have a kind thought to spare today, think of me and hopefully my fingers will start typing again.
i did my best here, i doubt it's what you had in mind but i hope you still enjoy it!
Anthony is about to get the hell out of this party that he’s been over since before he even got there, but there’s a whole barricade of people before the front door and they all know him (well, they don’t know him, which is part of why he wants to get out in the first place), which means he’ll get so much shit for leaving after only an hour. He barely slips out of view as one of his “friends” scans the room—maybe not for him, but Anthony isn’t about to take that chance, so he ducks back around the corner.
God, he hates making friends in college. It feels like some high political drama where he has to make alliances instead of actually liking people. It’s always who-knows-who? Who can get me here? Who can I trust? At every turn, and Anthony finds it so exhausting. Fucking fake.
Three and a half months into college and he’s really starting to wonder whether this was the right move. He isn’t really sure what else he’d do, but this hasn’t quite felt like the right choice yet.
He’s caught up deliberating the merits of being one of those drop out tech guys in Silicon Valley, trying to find the least crowded room, when he hears a laugh he kind of recognizes. It might be the least crowded room, but Anthony’s stomach still turns over when he sees the kitchen of this college apartment complex. Some number of people too big for Anthony to figure at a glance congregates around the island, but he figures this is his best chance to meld into a group with the least number of people. Plus, not one of the guys in his hall who dragged him here is bothering with the kitchen. It seems more like cool artsy types.
Anthony leans into the corner, and then he hears that laugh again. This time, his eyes fall on a guy a couple inches shorter than himself with brown fringe hanging in his eyes. Anthony recognizes him from his film class—he talked about some Korean film Anthony never heard of during the sound design unit—Ian. Ian . . . something about dicks.
He seems cool, to be honest. Unfortunate last name though. College is a little better than high school, but still. Anthony wonders if he’s had trouble making friends too.
Ian’s eyes catch his and Anthony raises his solo cup in acknowledgement, but Ian’s eyes slide away.
That’s fine, there are a lot of people, and Ian seems . . . kinda popular, actually. Maybe he isn’t having the same troubles as Anthony. It doesn’t register until the third time Ian looks away from him that, oh. Oh! Anthony is staring. Yeah, no wonder Ian’s vibe seems weird.
Okay, that makes sense. He needs to be way less intense.
Ian’s eyes are a pretty blue, and he’s funny, so being less intense proves to be a bit of a challenge, actually. Anthony isn’t sure how long he spends at that kitchen island, but it’s easily the best time he’s had at this party or any other, and he’s hardly said a word himself.
The conversation, of course, turns to film, and Anthony feels like maybe he should excuse himself before anyone notices he doesn’t fit in here, either. Everyone’s answer is something highbrow, something foreign. Anthony knew that would be the case, but as the circle goes ‘round and gets closer to him, he feigns like he needs a new drink and slips away.
The front door is still guarded like the fucking Pentagon, so Anthony heads out back to the little lawn area. There are more little groups, but at least in the fresh air, Anthony feels like he can breathe. Plus, maybe if he finishes his punch, he’ll be fucked up enough to actually try and vault over the fence to get out.
He looks down at the drink in his hands that must be pure nail polish remover and Capri sun.
Absolutely nasty.
“Cheers,” he mutters to himself, holding his breath and bringing his cup to his lips.
“Hey.”
Anthony could thank god from saving him from that chug, but then he turns to see Ian and now he wishes maybe he’d had a little more booze in his system.
“Hey,” Anthony says, furrowing his brow. “What are you doing out here?”
Ian shrugs. “You never said your favorite movie. I was curious.”
“Uh,” Anthony stumbles, because he absolutely cannot say his answer. “Citizen Kane?”
Ian frowns, considering. “What a film studies answer. Did you want to try it again, a little stronger, and maybe I’ll believe you this time?”
Anthony is bitten by how direct that is, how absolutely called on his bullshit he is. It makes him laugh, although he’s surprised that he doesn’t feel more uncomfortable about it. “Citizen Kane,” he repeats, in his most deadly serious tone.
“Rosebud,” Ian says, and . . .
And Anthony has absolutely nothing for that. “Huh?” he asks.
Ian shakes his head and laughs—Anthony likes that sound. Even if he isn’t sure why, he’s glad to have been the cause. “Okay, dude. Sure. What’s your real answer?”
What the hell, he’s a lost cause, might as well be honest about it. “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.”
Ian’s eyebrows shoot up under his fringe and he blinks in surprise. “You could have said anything else.”
Anthony grins a little and shrugs. “You said you wanted the real answer.”
“I did say that, didn’t I?” Ian replies, a little smile creeping over his mouth. “We’re in film class together, right?”
Anthony nods. “Yeah, that’s why I tried sneaking into your table, but I can’t exactly fake it.”
“Yeah, I hear that’s harder for guys.”
It’s Anthony’s turn to laugh—this guy is stupid funny. It would be annoying if it were less funny. “You, uh, you like it? Class, I mean. Or like, all of this, I guess.” He gestures vaguely around them.
Ian considers for a moment, his eyes drifting around thoughtfully. They’re nice eyes. A kind of blue Anthony’s never seen before. “It’s alright, I guess. To be honest, I think about dropping out at least once a day, but I don’t exactly have something better to do.”
“Really?” Anthony asks. Ian seems so with it in class. He always has the answers, he can discuss things like he knows what he’s talking about—he seems perfectly cut out for this.
“I probably won’t,” Ian admits. “But it’s so . . . I dunno. It’s not easy. Not the classes, that stuff’s fine. The rest of it.” He throws a skeptical glance back inside. “I can’t be pretentious for four more years just to end up never making a goddamn movie.”
Boy, does Anthony get that. “Dude, I so get that.”
Ian’s gaze turns back to him, then away once more, but Anthony can’t help but think there’s something in it this time. “What about you?” Ian asks.
“I was thinking of leaving for San Francisco, like, seconds before I walked into the kitchen,” he says with a chuckle. “How hard can it be to be the next Bill Gates? Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna get anywhere in the film department, I just like fun movies.”
“I’ve seen Home Alone, I’ve never seen the second one, but it’s a good movie. John Williams’s score? Unbelievable.”
“I know!” Anthony says, far too excited, a huge smile on his face. “The music is so good! And Joe Pesci could make me piss myself laughing.”
“Is he in the sequel?”
Anthony feels like this is perhaps a moment. A moment for him to test the waters, to see if there’s anyone out there, if there’s a reason to stay. “You wanna watch it?”
“Yeah, for sure,” Ian says casually, taking a drink from his own cup.
Anthony can’t quite tell if Ian is turning him down or completely oblivious, so he pushes harder. “Do you wanna watch it with me?”
“Yeah, that’d be cool.”
Oh.
A little smile climbs from one end of Anthony’s lips to the other. He can work with oblivious.
“I meant, like, do you want to leave this fucking party and go watch it right now,” Anthony clarifies. “I have it in my room on DVD.”
Ian blinks at him, curious.
“With me,” Anthony adds.
Anthony seems to have taken him by surprise for the second time tonight, and there’s a little bit of satisfaction in that. Maybe he’ll have to make it three times before the night is over. “Oh—oh!” Anthony can see the realization happen in his eyes in real time. “Yeah, absolutely, let’s get the hell outta here.”
Anthony smiles. “I think you’ll like it.”
Ian chuckles and jerks his head towards the complex, and Anthony doesn’t dread heading back in too much, and only a little bit of that has to do with the fact that he’ll be leaving right away. “Unless you wanna go over the fence,” Ian offers.
Anthony shakes his head. “Next time,” he says as they head in together.
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“Can you believe we pulled that off?” Ian asks, sighing as he leans back against the smooth black of the church pew.
They’ve rented them and still have until tomorrow before they have to be returned, but Ian let the cast and crew go for the night, opting to let them celebrate and come in a little earlier tomorrow to clean up the funeral set.
“Yeah,” Anthony asks, gingerly fixing the delicate black lace of his glove, “I can’t believe they bought it.”
Ian looks at his best friend and he smiles. Anthony smiles back, and now, with it just being the two of them here on the set of Anthony’s funeral, Anthony doesn’t have to try so hard, to pretend, or hold back. He blinks and Ian notices when Anthony’s eyes grow white, that milky, unnatural fog to them.
“At least your magic held out during the funeral,” Ian says. “God, I can’t imagine what would have happened if you shifted into demon form in the middle of it.”
“Are you kidding? People would have loved it. They’d wonder how we did it. The whole internet would have been talking,” Anthony says.
So much of him is the same, Ian notes, but at the same time, so much is different since he died and came back again. The eyes are one thing. Then there’s the magic, nothing too powerful, nothing like a storybook, but he has this dark magic flowing through him that comes with the territory, being resurrected demonic style. It’s the same magic he uses to conceal himself while around anyone else but Ian.
To everyone else, Anthony’s death was a joke, a production, fake.
It’s only Ian that knows the truth.
Because it was Ian who brought him back.
It was Ian who found the book, who drew the summoning circle in dark red paint on the wood floor of the Pressalike home office. It was Ian who murmured the words he needed to say to bring his best friend back from the clutches of death.
Really, it was the least Ian could do, he was the one who killed him during their Food Battle after all.
So, now, he’s got his best friend back but in a very undead and demon sort of form and though physically Anthony is not himself, what with the foggy white eyes, the sharp teeth, black claws, the horns that jut from the wave of dark curls on his head, in every other way, he’s still Anthony.
“So, we missed a great opportunity,” Ian jokes.
Anthony laughs, his mouth opening, allowing Ian to see all those pointed teeth. Once he’s quieted down, Anthony leans against Ian, resting his cheek against Ian’s shoulder. Ian, still in his priestly get-up, and Anthony still dressed in his own funeral attire, meet, one supporting the other. Ian rests the side of his head against Anthony’s.
They had told each other they loved each other tonight and Ian had meant it. He knew he loved Anthony when Anthony left the first time around. He knew he loved him even more when he died, and he knew he loved him fully and unending when he dabbled in the dark arts to bring him back.
It is a mutual agreement between the two, Ian knows. Nothing can separate them, not life, not death, nothing. Not anymore, not ever again.
“Now, we just have to figure out how to actually bring you back to life,” Ian says with a sigh.
“Yeah,” Anthony says, “not that being a demon is all bad.”
“Yeah, but I hate lying to everyone,” Ian says, “it makes me anxious.”
“I get it. We’ll figure it out. Honestly, we probably need to loop Amanda and Damien in on this. This kind of seems right up their alley.”
“Good point. Lets keep that as one of our options.”
Ian feels Anthony nod, “Will do.”
Eventually, they need to get up and go home. Home being the Pressalike house where they film their sketches because Anthony can really only go three places, either the Smosh Office, The Pressalike house, or Ian’s house, and Ian doesn’t really know why it’s only those three places, maybe something to do with he energy he left there, what he put into those spaces, but it’s where Anthony needs to be, like his form is bound to one of the three locations at any given time.
So, they need to go ‘home’ but right now it’s nice to sit in the quiet of the set together, basking in all they’ve achieved, while simultaneously wondering where to go next and how exactly to get there.
You are bbno$ and you've been a Smosh fan your entire life. You used to love their insane early 2000s humor but since then, you've cultivated your own brand. You lost track a little but only hear great things. Apparently, Anthony returned to the company and they're best friends once again. Good times.
One day, you see that Ian and Anthony both started to follow you on Twitter (you will not call that shit 'X'). You get talking in the dms and it turns out they want to collab.
Their idea is bold and controversial and niche. You're 100% on board. Doing and BDSM video with your childhood idols was not on your bingo card this year but here you are.
And as you meet them, talk to them, you suddenly go "a-ha." You see everything in a new light. They have been through some shit over the years, that'sfor sure. But they have FOUND each other. Not just as business partners. Their souls, hearts, dicks? They are meant to be together. And you can put a nice bow and tie around that in your song with them.
You're so happy they are now legitimately your friends and you hope to collaborate more with them in the future...
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Just imagine a cop!Anthony with a criminal!Ian AU.
Anthony has to interrogate Ian, who is a pretty well-known criminal. Anthony has been dreaming about this moment since the case landed on his hands. He has Ian all to himself, and he sure is imaginative with his methods.
