# ILYA ROZANOV IS A COMEDIAN  

Thinking about Bo’s pinch-hit home run in Texas. Thinking about George Springer’s Canada Day grand slam. Thinking about sweeping a four game series from the Yankees in the Rogers Centre and taking first place in the AL East and then just never giving it up. Thinking about how Mason Fluharty’s first ever big league save came from striking out Shohei Ohtani and getting Mookie Betts groundout in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded in Dodgers’ stadium. Thinking about Kevin Gausman’s full-game shutout. Thinking about Alejandro Kirk’s first stolen base. Thinking about his first grand slam. Thinking about Myles Straw and Andrés Giménez and Ernie Clement and Nathan Lukes and everyone else bringing back the sac bunt. Thinking about them playing small ball. Thinking about Daulton Varsho averaging about a home run for every ten at-bats.

Thinking about Vladimir Guerrero Jr deciding to stay in Toronto for another 14 years. Thinking about his grand slam against the Yankees. Thinking about George Springer hitting .108 in Spring Training. Thinking about him batting over .300 for the first time in his career. Thinking about him launching a three-run homer to take us to the World Series.

Thinking about Trey Yesavage making his MLB debut in the same year he made his Single A debut. Thinking about how he’s played the same number of playoff games as he has regular season games. Thinking about Shane Bieber making his return from Tommy John in a Blue Jays uniform. Thinking about Ernie Clement playing through a myriad of injuries. Thinking about George Springer’s knee. Thinking about all the injuries and all the guys coming up and down from Buffalo. Thinking about Bo Bichette finishing second in the league in both hits and doubles despite missing the last twenty games. Thinking about Max Scherzer choosing Toronto because he wanted another World Series. Thinking about Ernie Clement being released by the Athletics and signing a minor league contract with the Jays organization because he just wanted to play baseball. Thinking about him being a Golden Glove finalist two years in a row– and for two different positions in one year. Thinking about Nathan Lukes playing a decade in the minors and debating retirement and Myles Straw spending all of 2024 in the minors and Addison Barger not making the roster out of spring training. Thinking about how this team wouldn’t be the team I love without those three. Thinking about Isiah Kiner-Falefa being traded to the Pirates at the 2024 deadline, and then coming home a year (and a month) later.

Thinking about Tyler Heineman pitching. Thinking about Alejandro Kirk throwing out two runners in the same inning. Thinking about John Schneider getting thrown out of a game for arguing a foul call on a would be home run. Thinking about Davis Schneider cranking out another one on the very next pitch. Thinking about Ernie Clement face planting at third. Thinking about him missing the bunt sign and hitting the ball out of the park. Thinking about Alan Roden leaving his eyeblack on the wall. Thinking about Addison Barger getting accused of using roids. Thinking about turning double plays. Thinking about grounding into double plays. Thinking about the Jays just not striking out.

Thinking about Vladimir Guerrero Jr recruiting various teammates for the Gatorade dumps. Thinking about them giving Hazel a warning each time but not giving the Apple TV interviewer the same courtesy. Thinking about Buck Martinez not giving a single fuck and calling like he sees it. Thinking about the comebacks. Yes, that one and that one and that one and that–

Thinking about John Schneider handing Jeff Hoffman the ball again and again and again. Thinking about him letting Max Scherzer stay in the game. Thinking about him giving the ball to Brendon Little because, for better or worse, he trusts people.

Thinking about Ernie Clement wearing Bowden Francis’ pants. Thinking about him and Davis sharing clothes. Thinking about Davis and Myles trading jerseys. Thinking about Myles warming up in Chad Green’s jersey. Thinking about the whole team repping the giveaways. Thinking about the pitcher’s photography club. Thinking about Ernie and Davis rotating through their teammate’s bats– Bo and Spencer Horowitz and Will Wagner and Danny Jansen and Isiah Kiner-Falefa. Thinking about Ty France finding one of Addison Badger’s bats he hadn’t seen in a year and hitting a homer with it, so Addison uses it his next time up and hits a game-winning double.

Thinking about “To all y’all doubters… what now?” Thinking about “Start spreading the news bitches.” Thinking about “He’s got really good shit.” Thinking about “I was built for this.” Thinking about “I born ready.” Thinking about “You have to kill us all.” Thinking about “I thought he was gonna kill me. It was great.” Thinking about “DA YANKEES LOSE.” Thinking about “I’ll be ready.” Thinking about “We believe and we believe and we believe.” Thinking about “Tarps off, police horse is ready, here we fucking go.” Thinking about “It’s nice to come home to Davis cooking dinner.” Thinking about “The sky isn’t falling.” Thinking about “If you don’t believe in these Blue Jays, then you’re not paying attention.”

Thinking about how this team won’t be the same next year, won’t be the same ever again, but it doesn’t matter because in a few days we get to watch this team play in the World Series. The. World. Series. Thinking about how in March no one (save for maybe John Schneider) could’ve predicted that this is where this team would be in October. Thinking about how lucky we have been to be along for the ride.

Predators @ Maple Leafs