the egg queen

cool bell dude. who does it toll for

hello to sluts only

no no, it’s fine, ill text myself back

sext: “did you see the moon tonight?”

woah woah ladies, settle down...... (talking to my digestive organs)

girls can do many activities together

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

id go to like, an olive garden

Love this man , so

weatherboy (derogatory)

op what does this mean

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy