The Man in the Mirror

shirts that arent way too big around my stomach and way too tight around my chest

button-up shirts 

like all the fuckin button up shirts

ones that actually fit

those douchebag tank tops

button up pajamas 

shirts with v-necks

clothes that ACTUALLY FUCKIN FIT 

like y’all dont understand none of my clothes fit right bc i wanna hide the chest but my chest is too fuckin big. i should be wearin size small but i gotta wear medium or large bc of the damn chest 

and last but not least 

Physical changes take time. Puberty definitely doesn’t happen overnight!  As seen above, most changes don’t start taking effect until the 6 month to 1 year mark… and even then, those changes don’t reach their maximum potential until years down the line! 

During my first 3 months on T, the only thing I noticed was oily skin. At about 3.5 months on T, my period finally discontinued. At about 8 months, I got one or two chin hairs. At about a year and a half on T, my voice finally started sounding deeper. At about 2.5 years on T, I actually started growing facial hair- but even then, nothing that resembled a beard.

My advice would be to stop stressing it. A watched pot never boils. Constantly checking for changes and comparing yourself to yesterday makes the changes of today appear even more stagnant than they actually are. I find that dwelling has a tendency to make me even more upset! 

Additionally, self-comparison has the capacity to be epically problematic. Pics you see on the ‘net of phenomenal changes occurring well before the year mark are atypical- those people have had exceptional experiences which is why they’re broadcasting their experiences all over the ‘net. In reality tho, those experiences are NOT the norm. 

The testosterone pellets are fabulous. It’s nice to not have to inject every week, and my blood sugar’s have been hella stable.

I’m late with all the posting. I was super sick for about a month, then my computer died. Now I’m scrambling to get ready for top surgery. Yay and eek at the same time.

I’ve trained this open-source neural network framework on a variety of datasets, including recipes, Pokemon, knock-knock jokes, and pick up lines. 

Here’s the latest: a list of 365 different spells you can cast in Dungeons and Dragons. 

It’s a really small dataset, actually - so small that in almost no time at all, it learned to reproduce the original input data verbatim, in order. But by setting the “temperature” flag to a really high value (i.e. it has a higher chance of NOT going with its best guess for the next character in the phrase), I can at least induce spelling mistakes. Then the neural network has to try to recover from these, with often entertaining results.

I give you: D&D magic spells, designed by neural network

so i got one and wrote this on top:

and left it on a table in the studio

less than five minutes later people were fighting about it

Oh wait. We did.

And... what? You want us to sit down and take it because there are still a whole lot of racists and bigots running our country?

I don’t want a revolution. They’re messy, violent, and often don’t fix anything. We’re trying every non-violent solution we can think of, but representation is getting scarce. We’re running out of options.

We’re all just trying to survive. We want to live our lives like anyone else, without government interference. But I can’t piss in a public restroom without fear. Women still get paid less than a man for the same work. Black CHILDREN get shot by police, and there are no consequences for the officer involved. People with Islamic last names are being denied entry to the country they were born in.

Even you personally don’t feel great about the results, remember that the men who do go on to get these procedures done have gone through a great deal of physical and psychological suffering and stress to reach that point in their lives.