why do u think that men are allowed to call themselves lesbians.... attraction isn't based on genitalia - there are a LOT more factors than that. just bc a trans man may have a vagina, that doesn't mean he's allowed to call himself a lesbian. the term lesbian is exclusive to WOMEN and women only (NOT everyone with a vagina. men cannot be lesbians. that includes trans men.)
Again, as I specifically stated, neither of us are lesbians and neither of us would place a boundary or not on the lesbian community, that is for them to do themselves.
Your absolutely right a lot of things weigh into attraction, which is one of the reasons that the overlap and slight blur on lesbian relationships between transmen and women is something up for debate. There isnāt an easy hard line to blur.
There are lesbians who date transmen and there are lesbians who date transwomen and I donāt think either can have their lesbiansism disqualified, and in terms of trans people calling ourselves get/straight etc itās complicated, and largely I find it to be more an internal relationship to how we relate.
For example, I as a passing transmen wouldnāt consider calling myself a gay man (were I only attracted to men) because I donāt feel my attraction to men has the same weight or relationship to me as it would for other gay men. Not saying that is true or not for others simply in how I am. Men has been my default comfort zone as I grew up. How I have related to my attraction to men is not the same as other men who like men. On the other hand my experience with coming to understand how I like women, I relate far more to how women who like women have described their experiences and how they feel about it. That was my attraction I really had to discover and didnāt feel comfortable with for a long time.
When it comes to trying to describe a physical yes/no binary on attractions it just really isnāt feasible. You can only really go by trends in a community and how individuals would describe.
My only thought and contribution is really that I donāt think that in the current way we discuss trans people and discuss sexuality, trans people just donāt fit our current descriptive system well.
I think Iāve said it before but Iāll say it again, Iām glad Iām bi because I donāt know what I would do if I had to work this stuff out to a solid answer for myself













