coolcoolcool no doubt

I wasn’t gonna reblog, but this poor person’s eyes.  They scream of pain and desperation.

How am I supposed to stop them?

*coughs up blood* how do i look? do i look good? was that hot?

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

Is this…shipping discourse?

What did you just call me? Cunt? Like the philospher?