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Riding with Death, 1988, Jean-Michel Basquiat

My personal favorite was this old dude who was shoplifting a melon. He noticed me as he put his contraband cantaloupe in his bag. And he smiles sheepishly and puts his fingers to his lips as if to say "shh, you didn't see anything". I give him this huge wink and a thumbs up, and his face blooms into a huge grin. Next day, the dude comes up to the sushi counter and real sly slips me a Tupperware of cantaloupe, and goes, "you and me are thick as thieves" and disappears. I never saw pappy again, but you bet your ass I had that melon for lunch and I was grateful for it!!!

I was an ACCOMPLICE and I didn't get in trouble. No one even noticed, including the loss prevention guard who spent his shifts slavishly hitting on me and every other "girl" in prepared foods and produce (I put girl in quotes bcus I am not one). Stores will warn of huge punishments to convince you to snitch on people shoplifting but the fact of the matter is that most stores have exactly 0 way of tracking how much shit gets lost or damaged without you acting as their eyes and ears.

Don't be a class traitor! And remember!