i am buttcheeke

i find early classic novels by women to inherently be better than men because they manage to tackle the ever present question: can a woman can be multi-layered and have complicated morals?? without labeling her a saint or a prostitute in the first paragraph. almost like they’re human beings themselves

percy jackson did so well because it was deadass dante inferno part two. rick riordan said lemme make you watch a self insert of my child smoke a couple gods and we all ate that up. we might be in a published fanfiction epidemic but it’s not like this is anything new

parentheses in books feel like sarcasm or an admitted secret and idk if i like that. it’s so sure of itself. like the author’s pontificating

Batman Villain Voice: they call me blisters because of my disfigured hands and because my parents died in a fire but none of them. know the truth. because in kindergarten when the lunch ladies were finished making breakfast i’d sneak into the kitchen and drink the pork grease from the cooling trays and burn the shit out of my fingers and it was hot as fuckkk Now I Am Bacon Man Prepare to get Porked

fuck me on the floor bc i’m a real freaky bitch 😏. nah i’m just playing, i got bone cancer. 😒😏they’ve atrophied and will snap if you lift me up

bro imagine being the sig chi sweetheart 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣

help! i struggle to move five inches in the morning due to my all encompassing slothful nature and the roguish and charming imp fae that has taken up living in my closet has been spanking me to get me upright in the morning (BL)

help! my fat chud son encased me in the orb and is now performing espermets on my rotting carcass (an office worker isekai) 😕

i moan when someone touches my sternocleidomastoid

why is it called a teat i hate that

i nary get a moments peace

all men should get pregnant because i hate them

john steinbeck name dropping himself in his self-proclaimed best novel was such a power move that i audibly cheered when i got to it. oldhead ass play. you don’t see shit like this anymore

need a femboy w ears and a tail that i lock in a cage under my bed and hand feed chicken scraps

ass fucking the pillsbury dough boy call that a cream pie