using tumblr when you realise you have nobody else to talk to
The last few weeks have been tough for me
For a long time now, my friendship group has been drifting apart. Nobody had really realised that, but one person has been noticing it more and more.
My friends mean the world to me, so when it comes to seeing them it is one of the most enjoyable things I could do with my time. It just becomes a lot harder when they don't want to spend time with you...
I have been so lonely the last few weeks, my family went away for a week, and I expected my friends to be there for me when I needed them. Try your luck at 3/11.
I have repeatably spent the last few weeks trying to see people who clearly don't care. Ever since my birthday when a tiny margin of people turned up, and an even smaller number stayed, I have been feeling more and more alone
Even those that were there have suddenly vanished, becoming huge hypocrites. Certain excuses are fine but when it is everyone all the time? No, I don't think that is acceptable.
I sit here wondering what is wrong with me, what did I do to my friends for them to just push me aside. I can't say anything because then I'll make them feel bad, and of course nobody wants hurt feelings here, but it's more than okay for it to happen to me...
I'm being lied to, manipulated and ignored. I'm being treated like the world's biggest idiot. It's okay for most because they have their boyfriends to fall upon, but it's okay that I'm on my own because I just love spending most of my time alone.
I feel like every excuse under the sun has been used for people to avoid seeing me, and there's only a thimbleful of people who I can trust will be there for me, and even then it's only very occasionally.
People at work tell me I need to find better friends that wont just tell me one thing and do another, or just leave me stumbling around in the dark, waiting in the cold promises that are completely empty. What am I supposed to do when people say things to me like that? If I treated others the way they treat me, I would spend all my time alone, and its going that way already
"But you're going to university, you'll make plenty of friends" - yeah, so I'll just spend my summer alone yep? I put in more than I receive, and I hardly ever complain about this sort of thing but what can I do? I can't deal with it anymore. Nobody likes being alone but it's even worse to feel abandoned by the people that are supposed to care about you the most.
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