Vuelvo
No concluyo
lo intuyo
lo incluyo en la recitaciĂłn interna de mis miedos
que si lo intento, que si lo destruyo
pero es que es mĂo, asĂ como es tuyo
fuera de ser presente del murmullo es mi lago y en el fluyo.
almost home
sheepfilms
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

romaâ

Andulka
macklin celebrini has autism

titsay

Kaledo Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever

#extradirty
NASA
Show & Tell

Origami Around

shark vs the universe

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.
KIROKAZE
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@butimnotawritter
Vuelvo
No concluyo
lo intuyo
lo incluyo en la recitaciĂłn interna de mis miedos
que si lo intento, que si lo destruyo
pero es que es mĂo, asĂ como es tuyo
fuera de ser presente del murmullo es mi lago y en el fluyo.

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When a person tells you that you hurt them, you donât get to decide that you didnât.
Louis C.K. (via wordsnquotes)
Cigarettes
I loved cigarets because I was child And the smell reminded me of my father The scent announced his presence before his feet crossed the door. I liked playing with the ashes, staring at the smoke playing with the shapes and feeding my imagination. Cigarets were used to burn holes into plastic cups at boring adult parties, my dad would make me "cameras" i could play with for hours. I loved cigarets as a teenager cause they were the passport of my pretended adulthood. I loved cigarets cause they pushed my appeal by ten percent. Made me one of the cool kids maybe, maybe rebellious, maybe ahead of childhood. I loved cigarets for their complicity, for the bond with other 15yo renegades. That weren't afraid of the buzz, that weren't smart enough to know you only get one body. I loved cigarets for the experiences, the morning coffees with friends, the important conversations under the smoke. I loved them cause they became reliable, an automatic switch for extreme emotion. I loved them when I was trying to quit and instead used them as an excuse to talk to the girl I liked. I love them for the validation, for looking like you're old enough to decide to fuck up your lungs, your brain, your atmosphere and sell it as maturity. I loved cigarets when I wanted to cry and they gave me an excuse to leave the room. When I didn't have anything to say and they gave me a second to process. When I wanted to be alone and they isolated me. I loved them when I could taste complicity in my father's exhaled smoke, who didn't know I smoked as well. I want a cigaret right now, cause I haven't retrained my body to deal with my feelings differently. Cause I haven't woken up completely to the realization of the stupidity of the concept. I want to be the exception, I want to fool myself into believing they're not affecting my voice, they're not affecting my stamina, they're not leaving souvenirs through my body that I'll hoard into illness. I don't know if cigarets gave my father cancer. They probable gave him also what I thought they gave me, the hangs, the moments, the talks, the pauses. I tell myself I quit and I know I might slip into it tomorrow. And I wonder what it's like for the kids around me, the ones looking for the things I was looking for when I had my first cigaret. I wonder if my niece relates my scent to this, same as I've related it to his. I loved cigarets and my chosen ignorance made it hard to quit. I love cigarets and my chosen ignorance makes it hard to quit.
I knew that you were that person Iâd spend the rest of my time trying to find in everybody else I came across.
14979Â (via wordsnquotes)

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Meh
Soooo, today is being a hard day and I just opened my eyes. I really don't wanna be up, don't wanna have a whole day ahead where I feel like my insides are covered in lead. I just wanna skip the day, but I feel that way too often so I can't always do it. For no good reason my body decided this is how we feel. Depression is a bitch :/
Room for one
This is month six of sleeping alone. I had been sleeping with someone for 4 years maybe 5 with some months of sleeping alone here and there, but mostly in relationships. Ive had the fortune to fall in love deeply and gladly with beautiful people that thought me a lot about myself, about them, about love and about relationships. I started this year unaccompanied and one of the hardest things to adapt to, was sleeping alone. A few weeks ago i realized tho, that I have been sleeping alone for five months and its my new normal. I take my way-too-many pillows and get comfortable, I sleep with Netflix on my iPad (habit I got into when sleeping alone became a thing) and i melt into the blankets. I still have trouble sleeping almost every night, but now I'm just insomniac because life is a tornado and not cause I forgot how to be with myself. Sooo, I take that as a win. Future self, when you read this, this is month six! Small steps... small steps.
.
I think i lost almost all faith in my ability to make things happen, my place in the world, my desicion making.. not sure if those things come back or what does one do next.
it fights back.
I use to be able to see it as a separate entity. Iâd see the clouds get ready and Iâd expect the rain and Iâd tell myself itâs not gonna stay. It will come, youâll get wet, youâll feel cold and wounded. Youâll try to run and realize everything above you is blue and this type of rain doesnât care for ceilings. But I was certain it would get sunny, it always did. I would suddenly fall in love with something or someone, and it the clouds would pack and theyâd sit by the train. And Iâd watch them with the corner of my of my eye and Iâd think, they missed their train but theyâre leaving. I can see their luggage, theyâre waiting for their train.Â
Then the clouds would quit the waiting, and they would walk back towards my sun and theyâd push it away. And Iâd see it leave and Iâd wave and thought, Iâll hand in there, till youâre back. But the clouds got smarter and stronger, and the broken hearts fed them. The desilusion fed them. The shrunken dreams, the parting friends, the paper loves fed them. The took the crums from my failures, from the failures of others. From my broken expectations. From the information I wish Iâd never had. And they wore them as coats, so when the sun came back I couldnât see it.Â
And I thought, the sun comes up, the sun comes back. Iâll just hang in there.Â
But it came back perhaps a few more times, and we couldnât find each other and the clouds didnât want to pretend to wait for a train anymore.
And the pollution got thicker, and the clouds got bigger. And the air compressed and my lungs with it. So I exhaled the same drops falling from the blue. And I played with the dust and pretended it was sand.Â
And I thought maybe they win. Maybe theyâve squatted my mind and my body, maybe if one day theyâre not looking I can leave and try to find the sun.
They needed something stronger because they needed something stronger than themselves.

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You should have held me tight. You should have grabbed me and held on.
August Wilson, Fences (via wordsnquotes)
âA Charlie Brown Christmasâ, 1965
âSnoopy, come homeâ, 1972.
Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didnât know before you learned it.
Maya Angelou (via wordsnquotes)
If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.
Dalai Lama (via thequotejournals)
.ineedtoworkonmyself. đ¤

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Sometimes everyone does their best and things still end up wrong.
Rachel Hartman, Shadow Scale (via wordsnquotes)
i do not want to have you to fill the empty parts of me i want to be full on my own i want to be so complete i could light a whole city and then i want to have you cause the two of us combined could set it on fire
Rupi Kaur, milk and honey (via wordsnquotes)