random sh*tstorm

this is so bad this is the worst thing

@randomitemdrop

Item: Crinkling Beast that sure could go for some skin

at dinner people were talking about how much they cried during their weddings and my one cousin said she was SO determined not to cry, made it through the entire ceremony, but then during the reception her husband leaned over and asked 'hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have Night Meats?' and she went 'night meats?' and started sobbing because that was so romantic to her

Ok, it’s come to my attention that everyone has pets and I want to see them all. Please reblog with a cute picture of your pet, their name, and a fun fact if you so wish

aethers dad bod. you agree. reblog.

my lips are soft come here ill kiss you to prove it

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

Go for it…

I bet she has no grip game

Pussy like a flat tire

mouth game tho? you know those gums could kill a man

I need physical touch but if anyone touches me I will maim them. It's not easy bein green

For the love of Christ get away from me wench

*blushing and giggling and twirling my knives* omg you're soooo funny