Ɛ>>> Big tummys

Oldish doodles cuz i’m like pure of heart at my core 

I've been thinking about some of the red flags I've seen in feedist circles over the years, primarily displayed by feeders.

here are some signs to watch out for when you're with a feeder:

🚩 they only say "feederism" (which centers feeders in the community, pushing feedees to the margins) and never "feedism." 🚩 they ask for payment in return for encouragement, but refuse to help you deal with the cost of gaining (e.g. outgrowing your entire wardrobe, eating more food). 🚩they constantly lament their attraction to fat people and/or preference for fat bodies. 🚩 they're unprepared for the realities of having a feedee/fat partner. 🚩 they care more about your size than your happiness. 🚩 their idea of what counts as 'fat' is inherently tied to a certain weight. 🚩they're staunchly anti fat acceptance/liberation/etc. 🚩 they make you talk about your traumatic experiences with fatphobia because it turns them on. 🚩 they try to force you to wear only tight and/or revealing clothes by any means necessary. 🚩 if/when you lose weight, whether intentionally or not, they get angry at or disappointed in you. 🚩 they constantly try to push your limits when you haven't asked them to. 🚩 they pressure you into aspects of feedism that you aren't comfortable engaging in. 🚩 they're unwilling to incorporate broader kink best practices such as aftercare, safewords, RACK checklists, etc. 🚩 they don't support sex workers' rights and/or accuse feedists (especially feedees) in this community who ask for money of being "fakers." 🚩 they play oppression olympics (acting like any marginalized groups they're part of "have it worse" than fat people, therefore they're *always* the victim and you're *always* the one at fault). 🚩 they don't believe fat people are a marginalized group whatsoever, or refuse to say whether or not they do. 🚩 they believe stereotypes about fat people and treat us as a monolith (e.g. "all fat people are greedy" and "the fatter someone is, the lazier they are" etc.) 🚩 they throw a temper tantrum when you retract your consent/change your mind about how big you want to be.

Looking up new places beforehand to check that they are accessible for your partner's size (chairs without sides, tables that aren't booths, aisles wide enough, etc)

Making sure they can safely use the seatbelts in your car (long enough to be buckled while placed as close to the hips as possible). Offer to buy them an extender if your car's seatbelts are too short.

Ensuring your furniture choices have weight limits your partner can safely use and that your towels are big enough

Being prepared to buy some specialty furniture/household items and to buy some items more often, like mattresses, desk chairs, or couches/couch cushions

Are there functional places in your house that are inaccessible? (E.g., I lived in an apartment where, when the dishwasher was open, there was about a foot or two's space between the door and the cabinets, making putting away dishes less straightforward if you couldn't fit in that space.) Ask if your partner wants you to do whatever household tasks are necessary in those spots.

Your partner might have experienced medical trauma due to the severely fatphobic medical system, so listen to and learn about their experiences and needs around medical care (e.g., I ask my partner if they want me to go with them to appointments for moral support and I have when they wanted me to, and I research medical symptoms and conditions and how they're entwined with fatphobia so they're armed with facts at appointments).

Be ready to confront any assumptions and misinformation you have about health conditions that are typically associated with higher weight in the event that your partner has or receives one of these diagnoses. (Spoiler alert: pretty much all of them aren't actually caused by weight gain and pretty much all of them are made worse by intentional weight loss in the long run.)

May I *highly* recommend investing in a king size bed if your partner is or plans to be on the bigger end of the spectrum?

Overdue For a Break

Marin couldn’t stand, couldn’t move and could barely even speak.

Fluid dripped from their stool onto the floor of their cramped kiosk. Their face was red as the pressure hammered into them. Marin didn't particularly care if people bothered with their wares or were dissuaded from shopping because of their constant grimacing. Their ginourmous belly was hanging lower than ever, stiff, mishapen with contractions and sweat made their barely fitting shirt see-through. Their hands only left their bare underbelly to hand a customer their jewelry and change.

Marin was 38 weeks with quads. They were supposed to be induced or at the very least taken in for a C-Section week's ago, but Marin insisted on working at the kiosk. They'd have four hungry mouths to feed after all. It was a miracle that they even lasted this long, but now it seemed their body had enough of holding four babies.

When you're sitting in bed at 42 weeks, exhausted from the energy it took just for you to shift into a sitting position, there's a tiny pang of regret in the back of your mind. When you have to lean back and to the side to give your lungs enough room to inflate, part of you has to wonder if you regret doing this.

You love your baby, you really do, but damn. You have to spread your plush thighs just to let your belly have room when you sit down. It takes you twice as long to walk anywhere as it does anyone else. You're unable to get up or sit down quietly, little grunts and groans accompany every movement you make. It's become muscle memory to pull your shirt down every few minutes when you can feel a slight breeze brush against the bottom side of your low torpedo belly.

having no idea why i’m suddenly plumping up so fast, why my belly has gotten so doughy or my thighs so thick, wondering what to do. deciding to go to the gym only to be given plenty of “protein” shakes to guzzle down to “help me out” by the same person and just blowing up twice as fast from there