Hi, so I'm just making this post for everybody
I DO NOT HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT
I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY TO GIVE
I'M STILL JUST SEARCHING FOR A JOB
THE BEST I CAN DO IS SHARE YOUR FUNDRAISER, I CANNOT GIVE MONEY DIRECTLY
I'm sorry.
trying on a metaphor

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@burnthewarlock
Hi, so I'm just making this post for everybody
I DO NOT HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT
I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY TO GIVE
I'M STILL JUST SEARCHING FOR A JOB
THE BEST I CAN DO IS SHARE YOUR FUNDRAISER, I CANNOT GIVE MONEY DIRECTLY
I'm sorry.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Okay, this made me pause and literally write out every letter that 'fell' in order (‘oomngouuhhrsrtutpntnue’), then make sure they were all contained in 'turntomushuponthergroun'.
They are, and it's very satisfying.

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One time I was at a pub trivia night with some writer friends and we almost won but there was a tie. As a tiebreaker they asked us and the other team to write down as many moons of Jupiter as we could in two minutes.
None of us are very into astronomy so at first everyone was like oh we’re gonna lose but there were three of us at the table that night who were either former classics majors or otherwise super well read on Roman mythology and the three of us were like give us that paper right now and we just took turns writing down all of the lovers of Jupiter from mythology that we could.
So of course we won lol
And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???
!!HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
MY FUCKING CAR

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still
Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.
I SAID HOLD STILL
You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)
It’s funny how many people are replying “but that’s worse!” like you didn’t know that’s exactly why I put a smiley
One of my favourite restaurants being a filming location in the vampire lestat is awesome because wow cool that's two of my favourite things having a surreal crossover but also because it gave me the inspiration to make this for my friend's birthday

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And what will you have then?