I don't know what's worse about having chronic pain: a list.
Having to realize and come to terms with the fact that your body, your experiences in life, are not normal
Doctors only ever doing lab work , never any significant testing that can diagnose you.
Being accused of being a drug addict , even though (in my case) you won't even take a damn Tylenol for your crippling aches and pains due to the fear of becoming like your family members.
Doctors yelling at you that you're "not listening" to them , because they did the bare minimum and ruled out minor conditions, so that must mean that you're fine.
Family members and friends trying to relate because they occasionally have a stiff neck after work , and telling you that it'll go away.
Going to the emergency room because you can't walk due to how crippling your pain is , just for the doctor to deny you treatment because you committed the unforgivable sin of becoming pregnant even though you have these issues.
People blaming you for your pain because you "slouch too much" , even though it affects more than your back.
Being terrified of the constant clicking and popping you hear everytime you move.
People not believing that you've had this pain for 10+ years because you "function so well".
Not being able to lay down without feeling like your entire back is being separated, or your hips and knees feeling like they're being ground and twisted.
Not being able to walk without a limp , when a few years ago you could walk "normally".
Being too afraid to use mobility aids because you're "not as bad as others".
Having a constant tremor that makes it impossible to hold anything with the hand is affects, and being scared that it'll affect the other one as well.
Not knowing why your body is failing you.
Not being able to afford or wear proper support braces due to being poor/pregnant.
Watching your husband cry because he knows he can't relieve your pain.
The days where you need someone to help you walk/get in or out of the car.
Knowing you will never be able to run and play with your children like other parents do.
I hope this list has either brought a light to those who didn't quite understand what it's like , or helped those who suffer feel seen. Although our bodies may not be perfect, we are human too and we deserve the help we need.