Burns and the Torchlights

Y'all's! We've had a quiet winter, but now we're back!

Saying he is willing to do all the hard work necessary to succeed in the music business, local teenager and aspiring recording artist Morgan Reyes told reporters Sunday that he is in his garage every day crafting a widely marketable persona in hopes of one day winning a Grammy Award. “It’s always been my dream to win a Grammy, and I know that if I just put in the hours and tailor myself into a charismatic pop star with broad cross-market allure, I can make it happen,” said Reyes, 16, adding that the time he spends in the garage both after school and on weekends is the sacrifice required to develop a personality as magnetic, yet approachable, as all his musical heroes.

In an attempt to curb impulsive purchases made in periods of deep emotional distress, music store chain Guitar Center announced Thursday that it had instituted a 72-hour waiting period for all customers. “Owning a guitar is a huge responsibility, and the last thing we want is for these instruments to fall into the wrong hands,” said Guitar Center CEO Gabe Dalporto, who added that the mandatory cooling-off period was an easy, proven way to prevent customers from purchasing acoustic or electric guitars, basses, or keyboards and ultimately doing something they would regret forever.