Real ones know “:)” is the most patronizing symbol known to man

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@burningsands99
Real ones know “:)” is the most patronizing symbol known to man

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The Batfam as things I’ve heard at college:
Bruce: Like, you guys are all pretty poor right now
Dick: I don’t even think you’re all having sex anymore
Jason: I prefer death over being a washing machine
Tim: Where’s my fucking mitochondria?
Babs: It’s not because she’s gay it’s because she’s hysterical
Steph: No broccoli will get the best of you
Cass: The weather’s a secret I gatekeep it
Duke: I’m never wrong about fridge
Damian: My brilliance staggers me
AGAIN??????
Biggest betrayal of my life
What does Bruce call the kids?
Baby
Honey
Sweetheart
Nothing/Their Names
Other/Comment

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Do we think Kryptonians can bite their own tongues/lips/cheeks?
Yes
No
Only when in the presence of Kryptonite
20 Prompts for Creating "Controlled" Intimacy
These prompts add tension to your romance stories in a way that ups the tempo, keeping the readers hooked. Use them as scene starters or scene twisters in the way you wish.
✧ Standing close enough to feel warmth, yet careful not to touch.
✧ A hand resting on the doorframe, blocking exit without ever saying stay.
✧ Their names sound different when spoken quietly.
✧ A glance held half a second longer than politeness allows.
✧ Fingers brushing fabric instead of skin, on purpose.
✧ Sharing a coat but keeping space inside it.
✧ The pause before a goodbye that lasts too long.
✧ Sitting side by side, knees almost meeting, neither shifting away.
✧ A breath caught when the lights flicker and the room goes still.
✧ Laughing softly because speaking plainly would ruin everything.
✧ Reaching for the same cup and stopping at the same time.
✧ A smile meant for someone else but given anyway.
✧ Standing in a doorway long after the conversation ends.
✧ Words chosen carefully so they do not sound like a confession.
✧ Shoulders brushing in a room that is otherwise empty.
✧ Holding eye contact during a moment that should have passed.
✧ Adjusting a collar with deliberate slowness.
✧ Sitting on opposite sides of the table, tension stretched between them.
✧ Touching briefly, then pulling back as if burned.
✧ The silence after almost saying something unforgivable.
MAKE IT CANON YOU COWARDS
2 pages into red hood:outlaws and I’m already sobbing
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Mentioned: - Character, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Batman Played by Robert Pattinson and Superman Played By David Corenswet, Angst, Misunderstandings, Established Relationship, Idiots in Love, Background bat family feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, no beta we die like jason todd Summary:
So, yes, this is a good thing. This will be good for everyone, actually. Clark will be freed, and the kids will be safer, and Bruce…
Well, he can't be selfish.
Loosing Clark will destroy him, but he can't let the other man know that. Then Clark will stay out of obligation, and that's the last thing Bruce wants.
So.
It'll be fine.
Or: When Clark starts acting strangely, Bruce thinks he wants to breakup. Clark does not, in fact, want to break up.

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Do y’all think Ivy needs advanced warning before fighting Damian so she knows not to use her pollen?
Batman: Ivy, I’m on my way to your location. Surrender now and make this easier on all of us.
Ivy: Yeah yeah sounds great, on your way with who?
Batman: …Robin
Ivy: Godammit, was I not clear that I needed a days notice? Fuck! Come back tomorrow, I have to take most of these plants down
"Batman birthed all his Robin's" but Dick gaslit himself (and othere) into believing it was true to some extent.
—
Dick, eight years old, staring a reporter in the eye: What?
Reporter: Rumor has it that Bruce Wayne and Batman have been seen together.
Dick: Well DUH!
Dick: Batman gave birth to me :)
Bruce, choking on his drink in the background:
—
If I had a nickel for every time DC made a pair of canon gay characters that are just like superbat, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice
Somebody sedate me
Today years old when I found out Superman canonically snacks on metal…What’s James Gunn gonna do about it?

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I intend to celebrate Batman Day the way Bruce Wayne would want…
I’m going to a gay club
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 9/9 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake (DCU), Justice League (DCU), Batfamily Members (DCU), Joker (DCU), Rogues Gallery (Batman) Additional Tags: It's the Parent Trap, no beta we die like jason todd, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Second Chances, Bruce Wayne Adopts Tim Drake, Copious use of song quotes Summary:
Jason Todd returns to Gotham with one goal: revenge.
But when he learns his parents aren't together anymore, well, he doesn't have a choice but to do something about it, right?
Or:
Jason parent-traps Clark and Bruce, Tim Drake becomes Robin, and Dick just wants A Break.